For those of us with ADHD, if you are thinking about a task every second you’re not doing it and desperately want to do the task more than anything else and are devastated that you can’t do it so much that you use all your energy just on trying to make yourself do the thing that you want to do but can’t, that is NOT procrastination. That is executive dysfunction. It only seems like procrastination to people who have never experienced executive dysfunction and those who have only ever experienced executive dysfunction.
Procrastination is when you fully have the ability to do something and choose not to do it but to do the thing you prefer doing instead. I hadn’t experienced this until very recently, after a lot of therapy and medication.
This thought used to haunt my brain as well and it has the potential to kill all your joy. Regardless of difficulties, you have to be able to enjoy things in your life or eventually life itself becomes a burden which could eventually become unbearable. Doing things you enjoy is not trivial or unimportant. Enjoying things is the difference between wanting to live on this planet and wanting an express ticket into the unknown. There’s a balance, but ignoring the things that make life worth living tends to make life not worth living. Please pursue your joy.
@cavyherd@Kwakigra@LadyButterfly you know what? I’m feeling so guilty because I get on at my daughter about her bed-rotting and not dealing with things. The irony
My understanding is that ADHD is highly heritable, so if you have it, likely she does, too.
And of course, with “command resistance”(?) layered on top, being told to do/not do something just makes it even harder.
I’m •still• recovering from the trip my mother laid on me about that, 40+ years later. Maybe Dani’s image above will provide an entry point for a more productive conversation!
@cavyherd@Kwakigra@LadyButterfly absolutely. It’s actually been the journeys of both of my kids that have helped me come to understand my own neurodivergency
I occasionally wonder how my life would be different if my mother had the resources & wisdom available that we do now. I’m 100% sure she meant well, but damn she left me with a lot of damage.
@cavyherd@Kwakigra@LadyButterfly that’s very kind you to say. I can see so much of this in both of my parents but it wasn’t an accepted or acceptable thing in their generation. My mum is coming to visit from nz this week, and will be with us for two months. With the knowledge I’ve gained over the last couple of years, it will be really interesting just sitting back and observing!!
@Kwakigra
I started to understand executive dysfunction after I spend a night awake sitting on the couch because I was unable to get up and go to bed or just to move. All I did was watching the sun go down, the moon rising and moving across the sky through the window until it went out of my sight because I was unable to turn my head to follow it through the next window.
(Disclaimer: It wasn’t caused by my ADHD but by a heavy depressive episode due to by back then untreated ADHD and the loss of a dear friend) @LadyButterfly
@Kwakigra please yell this louder for people who forget it? THe funny thing is it starts out being procrasenation for me, then suddenly now because I procrastenated, the executive functioning just doesn’t regarding that task. I can actively choose not to do it, but if suddenly it becomes a you must do this task, even if I had the desire to do it before, I will now instantly not want to do it. sorry this was a sort of strange reply :) #actually AUDHD
For those of us with ADHD, if you are thinking about a task every second you’re not doing it and desperately want to do the task more than anything else and are devastated that you can’t do it so much that you use all your energy just on trying to make yourself do the thing that you want to do but can’t, that is NOT procrastination. That is executive dysfunction. It only seems like procrastination to people who have never experienced executive dysfunction and those who have only ever experienced executive dysfunction.
Procrastination is when you fully have the ability to do something and choose not to do it but to do the thing you prefer doing instead. I hadn’t experienced this until very recently, after a lot of therapy and medication.
@Kwakigra @LadyButterfly my rule of thumb: “it’s not lazy unless you enjoy it.”
@nycki
That is a perfect “Laymans terms” example for executive dysfunction!
@Kwakigra @LadyButterfly
This thought used to haunt my brain as well and it has the potential to kill all your joy. Regardless of difficulties, you have to be able to enjoy things in your life or eventually life itself becomes a burden which could eventually become unbearable. Doing things you enjoy is not trivial or unimportant. Enjoying things is the difference between wanting to live on this planet and wanting an express ticket into the unknown. There’s a balance, but ignoring the things that make life worth living tends to make life not worth living. Please pursue your joy.
@Kwakigra true! an important clarification is that you *should* be lazy on purpose! laziness is not an absolute negative!
@Kwakigra @LadyButterfly
Dani Donovan has brilliantly illustrated executive dysfunction you describe. (As it happens, this describes…most of my waking life, actually.)
@cavyherd @Kwakigra @LadyButterfly so much this
@clarkiestar @Kwakigra @LadyButterfly
Right? Like effing daily. Hourly.
We’ve heard of the modern Prometheus?
This is the modern Sisyphus, except that the rock never reaches the top, & is forever rolling downhill…
@cavyherd @Kwakigra @LadyButterfly you know what? I’m feeling so guilty because I get on at my daughter about her bed-rotting and not dealing with things. The irony
@clarkiestar @Kwakigra @LadyButterfly
My understanding is that ADHD is highly heritable, so if you have it, likely she does, too.
And of course, with “command resistance”(?) layered on top, being told to do/not do something just makes it even harder.
I’m •still• recovering from the trip my mother laid on me about that, 40+ years later. Maybe Dani’s image above will provide an entry point for a more productive conversation!
@cavyherd @Kwakigra @LadyButterfly absolutely. It’s actually been the journeys of both of my kids that have helped me come to understand my own neurodivergency
@clarkiestar @Kwakigra @LadyButterfly
I occasionally wonder how my life would be different if my mother had the resources & wisdom available that we do now. I’m 100% sure she meant well, but damn she left me with a lot of damage.
Props to you for doing the work!
@cavyherd @Kwakigra @LadyButterfly that’s very kind you to say. I can see so much of this in both of my parents but it wasn’t an accepted or acceptable thing in their generation. My mum is coming to visit from nz this week, and will be with us for two months. With the knowledge I’ve gained over the last couple of years, it will be really interesting just sitting back and observing!!
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@simonv @Kwakigra @LadyButterfly
Certainly is for me. I’m doing it right now 😭
I’ve heard stories of people who need or want to do a thing & just…get up & go do it…?
@Kwakigra
I started to understand executive dysfunction after I spend a night awake sitting on the couch because I was unable to get up and go to bed or just to move. All I did was watching the sun go down, the moon rising and moving across the sky through the window until it went out of my sight because I was unable to turn my head to follow it through the next window.
(Disclaimer: It wasn’t caused by my ADHD but by a heavy depressive episode due to by back then untreated ADHD and the loss of a dear friend)
@LadyButterfly
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@Kwakigra @LadyButterfly THIS IS MY WHOLE LIFE
@Kwakigra please yell this louder for people who forget it? THe funny thing is it starts out being procrasenation for me, then suddenly now because I procrastenated, the executive functioning just doesn’t regarding that task. I can actively choose not to do it, but if suddenly it becomes a you must do this task, even if I had the desire to do it before, I will now instantly not want to do it. sorry this was a sort of strange reply :) #actually AUDHD
o h .