I do, most of the time. I’ve always felt creative, I always have thousands of ideas and concepts for anything, be it a drawing, a song or a text of any kind, but regardless of what it is, anytime I sit down and try to make something I hate it, I hate it so deeply it disgusts me and kills any will to continue whatever it is I’m doing.
I tried to write some lyrics some days ago, it felt okay-ish until I wnt back and read it, at which point it feelt as if I was seeing someone else in the mirror: all the things, the ideas, the feelings I thought I put in it just aren’t there. It feels hollow, alien, repulsive.
I know I can’t be good as a beginner, but I’ve been a beginner in everything since I was a kid. And I kept trying and trying and trying, and every time I felt that feeling of disgust and repulsion, outrage even. I just can’t stand it anymore, and maybe “art”, or rather artistic self-expression, isn’t my thing? Maybe I keep trying to open a door that simply isn’t the one I’m supposed to open?
Did you ever feel this way and overcame it? I don’t even care about making whatever I make public, I just want to feel as if I gave shape to something I thought or felt.
I’m glad someone else mentioned that Ira Glass quote, I always go back to it when I feel like this.
It’s a normal feeling, and not a reason to not make things. It sounds like you want to make stuff, you have the drive. I know it’s hard, and I still have days where I rip up my drawings and cry out of frustration, but I try my best to stay in the mindset of “it’s still progress, it’s still a step towards getting where I want to be, and I’m proud of myself for trying”. Some days I try to focus on the sensations of making things. How much I love using a brush, how cute and clean my desk is, how much I love sitting and thinking with music in the background, how good my candles/incense smells, how lucky I am to have my brain and hands working well. I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. But it doesn’t mean you’re not an artist :>