I’ve mostly left reddit and switched to beehaw, but I posted on somewhat of a niche tech-related subreddit today since there really isn’t a community for that here yet. And wow, I got instantly downvoted twice and the first comment response was rude and hostile. All I posted was a feature suggestion for software that I thought would be useful and that a good amount of people would like based on other feedback I’ve heard. This is not the sort of topic that should be controversial or aggravating, and it wasn’t like I made an ignorant post suggesting a feature that already existed or otherwise wasn’t well researched.
This type of instantly hostile response has happened numerous times on reddit for various different topics, but I just haven’t posted for a while, so I forgot just how shitty it can feel. It makes me really appreciate how friendly and respectful the community is here on Beehaw and on Mastodon. People seem to have good faith in one another similar to how the internet used to be in the old days.
Have you had similar experiences with Reddit and similarly opposite experiences here on Beehaw/Lemmy?
First off, OP, I’m sorry that you had to go through that. Hostile responses hurt, particularly when you’re just trying to help. I hope this doesn’t stop you from sharing ideas in the future. We need more people willing to share ideas so we can have good thought diversity.
That being said, I don’t think this is a good reason to leave Reddit or hate Reddit.
I know a lot of us are really highly charged right now and the Reddit hate is strong. We got burned by something that was a major part of our lives for many years. But the toxicity of the participants is not exactly a Reddit thing. This is an internet thing. You are not getting away from that here.
I have had similar experiences as OP on Reddit and I’m also seeing similar behaviors on Lemmy as well, particularly now that it is growing faster.
Lemmy and federated services in general do not automatically mean that the community is nicer or are more respectful. That is not the problem these services try to solve. They solve issues of ownership and centralization. Even communities like Beehaw aren’t free from this either. I’ve seen some pretty toxic behavior, even on Beehaw. They can’t escape that. But what they can do is set a standard for expected behaviors and then moderate the community as best they can. This doesn’t eliminate the problem, but at least it sets a stage where we can play, and call out when someone crosses the line.
So let’s not kid ourselves. When people from different backgrounds, views, and intents come together with the capability of being anonymous and behind a screen, the bad actors WILL come and join the fray. That’s just part of internet connected life.
Your comment kind of demotivates me. Im so tired of going online and seeing hate, agressive users, etc and it is one of the biggest reasons why I left reddit.
I think its a good reason to leave a platform.
It isn’t the entire platform though, it pays to remember this.
Also, over ‘here’ things are slightly more fragmented - not centralized - and so if you’re an offensive bastard, then you’d better just go find a community that doesn’t mind your behaviour. This can also exist in the Fediverse… moderation and rules can be applied as and when required.
In short, this is not ‘Reddit’. I guess time will tell how it develops, but I currently feel more relaxed to speak freely, not worry too much about causing offense, not really caring too much about how many up/downvotes I get…
It’s less like being in a strictly run teenage classroom and more like being in a University forum.
Reddit became a massive sector of the Universe, but this is only one star in a galaxy of stars…
I’m sorry this comes off as something that demotivates. I don’t want to demotivate you. I tend to be a bit of a stark realist and my intent was to help grapple with the reality of the situation. I’ve seen the cycles of this kind of thing happen over and over, not just on Reddit but on so many different platforms. For me, this is nothing new.
I say this not to diminish the feelings we have about toxic communities or that we should be okay with it. I’m right there with you, I am tired of seeing hate and aggression again and again. But I say this to have realistic expectations about online communities, because we do see this here on Lemmy already and we will see it more. Unfortunately there is no escaping that because thats just how people are. My intent is to hope that YOU don’t leave because of that and to give hope that even in communities where toxicity exists we can still have good interactions and shouldn’t just leave. I don’t think Reddit is to blame for this, but that doesn’t absolve Reddit from being a crap platform that we should totally abandon.
And that was my main argument for the original post. Just because toxicity exists isn’t a great reason to leave, because if that’s the case, we should leave Lemmy too because it exists here as well. I don’t think it was fair in the original post to cherry pick bad things from Reddit and compare them to good things in Lemmy.
I hope we can continue having experiences and discussions, like the ones in this thread, where we can disagree and still remain civil, supportive and positive. I hope you can be motivated to contribute to that despite the challenges of online communities and be a participant here so that we can all benefit from your opinions.
Thank you for your kind and thoughtful response. I try not to let these type of interactions get to me because I know I should not let stranger’s opinion be able to affect me that much. I should be the gatekeeper of my emotions and what I let affect me. I just was already not having a great day yesterday, and being treated poorly for literally no reason, and realizing I wasted my time sharing my ideas just put me a bit over the edge.
And you’re right, these kinds of interactions are just something that happens as being a part of the internet and even just as part of humanity in the real world too. Bad actors are bad actors.
First off, I’m so sorry to hear you were having a bad day. That really sucks and I feel for you, friend. It happens to us all and I hope things look up for you soon! They usually do and stuff like this comes and goes in waves.
You can’t always help this. We are emotional creatures. Feeling emotions is just something we do, and you don’t have to check that baggage at the door. You are entitled and valid for having a feeling in response to that situation. In my opinion you’re not wrong about feeling bad/upset either. You should be upset for getting dumped on like that. We just have to be mindful to let it guide our decisions sensibly. Don’t feel bad for feeling bad. You are justified in this situation.
Please, please, please don’t see your contribution as a waste, despite the response you got. The way others respond is not always a great indicator of the quality of your contribution, particularly if you don’t exactly trust those individuals deeply. That’s kind of the problem with online communities like this, not everyone responds affirmatively even if they think it actually is a great idea. It’s hard to really know. It’s absolutely validating when someone outright says it, but on the same hand the negativity, especially if it’s not constructive, should be taken with a grain of salt. For all you know, someone could have seen your idea and run with it already, or come up with something else good based on it. You may never know though, and that’s okay. The intent of putting an idea out there is good, and thank you for doing that. Please don’t stop doing that.