Went to my first Renaissance Fair and concert on the same day. It was quite the day—fam bullshit, might’ve lost a connection w a good friend I was starting to get to know… But I did get to see some cool things. I really liked the Ren Fair—just unfortunate timing so we couldn’t stay long. It was also my first concert. My brother got me merch. Danced in a mosh pit. Saw that most people were not wearing earplugs 😬 Had to leave early bc I’m not a night owl. I ended up being so wiped out.

Inner feelings-wise, I’ve been feeling impatient about “getting on with my life.” Logically I know it’s one step at a time, but my heart is just yearning for freedom and independence. I just feel like the odds are stacked up against me right now, or maybe it’s just too daunting considering I just freaking started a job so I should prob just chill. ತ_ತ

But I feel like I can’t. It’s like I have these monumental tasks in my head that are stressing me out bc I can’t just do them with the snap of my fingers. When did I get so impatient? Guess I’m just sick of my family’s lifestyle. I’m looking at the future I want and dealing with the frustrations of the present.

I guess it’s just human nature to find the next problem once you’ve taken a step forward. So I’m hoping this will all pass eventually. I’m planning on moving out in two years or so. (Kinda…cant just leave if I need to buy my own car and then aggressively pay it off.) Anyway, that’s just some of the thoughts that have been going through my head recently, so I’ve been feeling pooped. Just needed to vent.

Hope everyone’s had a good week.