i’m on my last day of house sitting two big goofy german shepherds (+ a turtle). it’s been nice to veg out and chill with some mellow dogs and not have anything else to worry about. looking forward to sleeping in my own bed tonight though. i’ll be back here for a quick overnight on saturday-sunday, then going into winterfest weekend full ham.

I posted last week about being anxious for a big exam I had coming up. I was getting physically ill from the anticipation, and so I decided to just send it instead of waiting and studying until the last minute (it’s a WGU OA, so I can take it whenever.)

I’m super happy to say that I absolutely crushed it! That’s my last sit-down test, so now all that’s between me and my Bachelor’s is some essays and a work-based-learning experience! Needless to say I’m doing pretty good. :)

Power’s out - we’re seeing wind gusts over 50mph and have gotten a little over two inches of rain since last night. Currently waiting for the lowest-ranked-in-the-US power company to repair things. Two trees snapped off their trunks about eight feet off the ground and landed just a few feet from our duck yard, so at least I don’t have to fix any fencing.

Edit: power’s back! Met two nice folks from Canada who were down this way to do repairs and convinced them to take a tree off a line even though it wasn’t in their task list.

About to be on vacations for the holidays. The season’s been hitting me hard and I (should) welcome a good two weeks of slouching about in unproductive bliss. On the other hand I’ve had so many bad Christmas that anxiety levels are mounting for no good reason. I’ve cut off a lot of unpleasant things from the holidays in the last years but I’m still coping with the aftermath.

Also I’m slowly coming to terms with the fact that I don’t know how to rest anymore. So I’ll do my best to keep positive and do nice things even though I’m a little apprehensive. There are some bits of my mind I could do without, ugh.

Had day off, back to work tomorrow, hopefully all quiet on the IT front.

I’m a teacher and winter vacation started today. My plans are to play Terraria 😎

grandma is hospitalized, yet I’m more stressed about the relatives I’m staying with. yeah, they’ve been taking care of her for years now, but they mostly talk shit about her. it clashes with the sweet perception i have.

did i really get to know her?

we’re all suffering, but I don’t know how to help. I tried cleaning a bit, but my uncle got angry about moving his dirty dishes. the least i want rn is to be a burden.

I’ve been mentally preparing to be a little down for winter, but this is a smack down.

The girl I was dating isn’t interested in me romantically which really sucked for a day or two, but she’s still interested in being friends which I look forward to at least.

I just had the realization that I’ve resigned myself to my dead end job. The holidays are coming and it always makes me feel happy and sad. It makes me reflect on all the things I wish I could do for my parents and my family. And while I have done a lot over the years, I just feel like I’m a frog in a well.

I’ve been trying to pursue creative endeavors as a way to feel like I have some kind of purpose in life. It’s been helping a little which is good. Sorry for the negative comment. I’m sure next week will be better

I finally have a chance to breathe from my chaotic semester. At the same time, I worry that I won’t have enough time to recover because certain responsibilities are time sensitive. And my family environment isn’t the best…

There’s one task that really bugs me: future roommates want to move out of the dorms before the next semester starts, and this was ‘decided’ on around finals week. Plus we apartment hunted for like… less than a week, around finals week.

The old plan was to move around the end of the school year, which would’ve given us time to research everything we need to know, search for places, and plan move in. (And the old idea was that I only had one roommate, not two.)

This rushing is all due to a shitty dorm situation my second roommate is in, but… It’s so rushed that I don’t even know what to say. I don’t want to risk something worse happening. I feel like there are so many unknown variables. We’re planning a discussion with each other and each other’s parents at some point this break, so I’m honestly hoping we don’t move out soon unless we’re mostly sure things will work out.

…Overall though, I’m just trying not to think. My body is exhausted; my brain is drained. I just wanna relax, and I haven’t registered that Christmas is soon. I’m not in the holiday mood at all.

At least I get to pet my dog. He’s so fluffy and floofy.

“Russia interferes in your brains, we change your conscience, and there is nothing you can do about it.”

That is how my week goes :(

It’s been a slog. Don’t get chickenpox as an adult, don’t let your kid get ill right after chickenpox. Oh, and live in a country with decent healthcare, that helps too.

Is it wrong if I read that with an Oxford comma?..

“I am currently munching on a foot, long sub, and beginning the latest Native map update”