Today is my 5-year anniversary with my husband, we were planning on going on a camping trip to celebrate. He asked today if it was ok to cancel because a bad tooth had been causing him pain all last night. After talking about their refund policy, I told him it was ok to cancel if he was worried about it. We have a dentist appointment scheduled for him, but we couldn’t get in before the trip.
He wants to make it up to me by taking me out to dinner at our favorite restaurant this weekend, and I feel bad for feeling a little disappointed. Its a nice restaurant, don’t get me wrong, but I wanted to do something special or new for our 5-year. I want to ask to do something this weekend, but don’t know what to ask for so last minute. So now I’m here asking if anyone has any ideas on what to do to celebrate, or if I should just keep my disappointment to myself? What would you do?
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You should for sure talk about it with him. It is nice of him to want to take you out, but it is normal to be disappointed in missing out on a planned activity. I know that if I had a bad tooth ache I would struggle to want to go camping, and I love camping!
Is this the kind of thing he has done before?
I personally would just try and re-schedule the camping trip and enjoy it like its my anniversary anyway!
Thank you for the good advice! I just talked to him over my lunch, I didn’t bring up feeling disappointed, but I asked if he’d be willing to try to do some fun activities over our 4-day weekend. I was an expecting a “yeah, sure” but he’s actually really excited about it. I’m going to be planning one or two small things each day, dinner at our favorite restaurant being one of them. I’m also picking some activities that are easy to cancel last minute should he be in too much pain (oh I should plan at home things we can do if that happens, like renting his favorite movie). Thank you again for encouraging me to say something, I have a hard time planning, but he’s worth it.
I would totally reschedule if we could, but it’s too late to take back the days off we scheduled. Maybe we’ll reschedule way later, but I can’t this month since we’re taking time off for all the dental work aswell. I feel bad for him being in so much pain, tooth aches really do suck. In the past we would make a nice dinner together (we couldn’t afford anything crazy as college students lol), maybe I can ask him to do that this weekend. We always talked about going to this flower garden nearby, or kayaking on the river, maybe I should bring some of these up to him. I was worried I was asking too much to want to do more, but talking to him sounds like a good idea, maybe he’ll have some more ideas of his own. Thank you for validating my disappointment, even if it is only minor disappointment.
Given your post, it sounds like the cancellation isn’t actually okay with you, and I would tell him so.
I do want to go, but I don’t want him to suffer for it, it’s not worth that. I’d rather cancel to make him comfortable. For me it’s more about doing something special to celebrate the milestone, it feels like our first big anniversary being the 5th, but that’s probably just me holding on to some weird tradition. I’m thinking about making a nice dinner with him (or maybe for him if he’s still in pain). He’s always been the planner in our relationship, so I really want to do something for him to show him that I appreciate him.
a bad tooth had been causing him pain all last night.
So, “in sickness and in health” TO YOU means it’s okay for him to be in the woods in pain rather than even delay this celebration of unity and partnership.
People are gonna see this and think you’re a really bad person and potentially self-centered. They may suggest you need to learn about partnership and relationships and caring about others.