I grew up an avid gamer. But now, among my 50-hour work week, helping my kids with their math homework, grocery shopping, and house chores, I’m no longer able to find enough free time to really dive into a game. I mostly play casual games that I can drop in and out of but forget about the 40hr+ games requiring commitment. Despite not having the free time to game like I used to, I do enjoy watching my kids play while I’m doing other things around the house and then listen to them telling me about their accomplishments afterwards. I would like to hear from community members with similar circumstance about how you manage your time.

  •  jboyens   ( @jboyens@beehaw.org ) 
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    311 year ago
    • Sneak the time when you can
    • Play games with them
    • Wait until they are 12 (-ish) and they decide you are uncool

    Otherwise, you’re doing what I ended up doing. There was a long span that, I just… never played games because I was too busy. I regret that a bit because it’s a thing that makes me happy and even if I’m “Dad”, I’m still a person that deserves some time for “me”.

    • This more or less. My wife games too. We went through periods where we probably gamed too much and had to correct that behavior (house was becoming a mess and kids ignored school too much)

      For us it put a decent amount of pressure on our marriage for a while until we admitted that gaming needed to take a backseat to life in general. Its hard. I grew up with gaming and both my wife and I were 8+ hours a day of MMO before kids. But life demanded we become adults for a while and be responsible.

      My kids are finally on the older side where their demands on my time is lower. I still don’t game much before dinner and most house chores are done. I try to game with them a bit after dinner and then I get about 1.5 to 2 hours to play a few League of Legends games (yes, I know i hate myself) if I don’t want to ruin my sleep.

  • I found a job that doesn’t ask me for 50 hours a week and they go to bed at a reasonable hour. But don’t ask me what I’m not spending enough time doing, like working out. Or how much we spend on takeout (way, WAY too much). And on top of that I have pretty great family support.

    Basically, it’s hard even under ideal conditions with some less than great compromises.

  •  prd   ( @prd@beehaw.org ) 
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    1 year ago

    It’s one of those “season of your life” kind of things. There’s just a certain period of time where the family takes priority because of what the kids need. Just like everything else related to kids, at some point it will change and your time management will as well. They will become more independent, and you’ll have more time, but you may even find that your interest in gaming has changed.

    Games will always be there, but your kids are only kids for a very short amount of time. Treasure it while you can!

  • 50-hour work week is a LOT. At least around these parts. I hope you’re working remote so you don’t have commute on top of that. Either way I don’t doubt it takes a serious dent into personal life. I’m a working parent and the main family cook, but I’m remote and on a 35-hour work week so I get a couple of hours to unwind every day of the week, which includes plenty of gaming.

    • I’m not remote but luckily I live close enough to work that my commute is only around 15-20 minutes. The 50-hr schedule has more to do with the nature of the job rather than 50-hrs of actual labor. I do find I have pockets of free time throughout the day but sneaking in some gaming while I’m at the office doesn’t seem professional. Yes, perusing forums and surfing the net isn’t either but at least it looks like I’m replying to emails.

  • Recently my wife and I agreed on me having one set night a week for gaming and it’s been great. I get my gaming time in but it’s a reasonable amount considering all the other responsibilities of work and parenting

  •  Noit   ( @Noit@lemm.ee ) 
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    61 year ago

    Embrace mobile gaming. Especially the classic Nintendo handhelds. I can rock my baby to sleep and play Pokémon Ruby on my GBA at the same time. Embrace RPGs and other games where reaction times don’t matter. If I’m sat in a chair with a sleeping child I can even play a game where reaction speed matters, like Tetris.

    Get a flash cart so you don’t have to switch games or carry a library of carts with you. Keep it in your car for play if you’re out a lot. Oh, and get a decent modern screen mod so you can see the screen outside.

  • 5 year old and an 18 month old. I used to work nights so I’d basically have three hours a night from when they went down, to when I had to leave for work. Unfortunately working nights wasn’t tenable anymore, and as such I now work days…and get significantly less time to game.

    If I’m lucky, both kids are in bed at 7:15. And if there’s no bedtime theatrics…I can usually carve out 2 hours to play, three if I’m feeling risky (have to be awake at 4:30).

  • My girls are still only 1 and 3, but so far I’m sneaking in an hour or two in the evening, after everyone else has gone to bed. I’ve started introducing the older one to Pokemon Go and Let’s Go Pikachu, and she loves it so far despite not knowing much english. Hopefully I can get them into gaming so we can have that in comon 😄

    •  stritch   ( @stritch@lemm.ee ) 
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      41 year ago

      I have never been into Pokémon before my kids started to play Pokémon GO a couple of years ago. It was really nice to have a pastime that we all enjoyed.

      They still play occasionally but I became hooked on Pogo. So you might find new gamed when playing games together with the kids, be sure to give it a try if your kids are playing it.

  •  marco   ( @marco@beehaw.org ) 
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    41 year ago

    I canceled my WoW subscription the day my son was born. Now both kids are teenager I’m getting back into some slightly more serious gaming, but I have to admit that my priorities have changed a bit and I still do much less gaming than I did before kids.

  •  Yunlee   ( @Yunlee@beehaw.org ) 
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    41 year ago

    I haven’t played any game meaningfully at all for 2 years since having a kid. There have definitely been times I tried to force it: early in the morning, late at night, on my mobile on the bus. But in all cases it led to more strain on my mental resources or sleep deprivation. I still occasionally listen to a review about a game or video essays while I do chores, but my relationship with games seems to be at a much greater distance for the foreseeable future. There have even been unexpected gaps of time where I get 2 hours to myself, but I realize that playing the game instead of taking a nap or making a nice meal would just drain me.

    I come to accept the above because I think having kids does offer me a sense of role, challenge, and storyline that were the most attractive quality about games to me. I still miss playing them but I would for sure pay the tradeoff to keep being a parent anyday.

  • The kids will really remember the times they sat down and played games with you. So you end up trying to make the best out of roblox and minecraft to find a nice balance of everyone being happy.