(If this isn’t the right place to post this, please let me know.)
This is going to be a very long post (an essay maybe), because that’s what it is. Some parts may go all over the place, but that’s because my mind will go bankrupt everytime I remember it. Even though years have passed since it ended and everybody has moved on, I am still occasionally afraid of potentional retaliation. I don’t have a lot of proof in the form of screenshots because it just hurts looking back, but I will try to explain with the best of my ability.
There were some details to the story that I left out because I didn’t think they were relevant. And before I get any comments questioning my involvement with a subreddit like this: I was one of the kids that fell down the "anti-SJW rabbithole, and communities like these prey on vulnerable young people, regardless of gender and sexuality. I was so attached to this community that I refused to leave despite it hurting me.
For context, I am currently 20 years old, and all of this happened when I was 13-14.
PS: Please do not try to go and contact my harassers. Most are suspended, some deleted their accounts and others are inactive. However, very few of them are still active on Reddit to this day. Regardless of where they are or what happened to them, still do not go out and contact them. Plus, the subreddit where the harassment first took place is banned now.
Alright, here’s the story:
It was late July 2017. I discovered a subreddit we will call “X” via an app called iFunny, dedicated to supposedly real stories about intellectually and developmentally disabled people doing mundane things with the intent to mock them, with the majority of the subjects being children, in a “4chan greentext” format. I discovered it via an app called iFunny, so I decided to create a Reddit account there to post my own “t*rd stories”. They got upvotes and not-so-bad comments, inspiring me to create more. However, little did I know at the time that joining the subreddit would be the biggest mistake of my life.
In late August of that year, a user within the subreddit made a call-out post with my username in the title, indirectly asking me to “stop posting obviously-fake tard stories”, calling me “the real t*rd”. It was THE post that caused all the the troubles I went through on the big R. I had civil arguments with other users that only turned aggressive since they mostly responded back with insults. It got to the point that I, at one point, fell into depression. The few that supported me told me not to mention anything about the subreddit to avoid being hunted down by the mob, but I was too stubborn because I wanted to take back all the power they had over me via those arguments. Mind you, I was 13-14-years-old at the time this whole shit happened.
When I made a return to the subreddit in the hopes that I could be better and fit into their rigid standards, I was hounded down with insults, told to “fuck off”, and even got stalked in almost every other subreddit I was in. Angry, I created a counter-sub in the hopes of reforming X. A day after I created the sub, one of my harassers created a secret burner account pretending to be on my side, messaged me via ModMail that they wanted to join. Not long after I let them in, they ended up causing trouble on X by picking fights with the users. For some reason, people thought that it was me in an alt account, and even had one accusing the account of being me using a throwaway account to pretend that people liked me, and that I was chasing my haters across Reddit by telling them off". The targeted switched them to say that “they were not me”.
When this whole drama was dying down, so did the activity of the reform sub, but oh holy moly, it didn’t really end there. One of my major harassers and stalker, who became a mod after one of the old moderators have him the roles, made a post on a “help” sub for Reddit mods trying to imply that I was making multiple accounts to evade bans, when I have never did sort of thing and that acc he was implying wasn’t even mine and never was. I tried contacting the sub’s mods about taking down the post, but they denied my request because the post didn’t have any usernames on it. I got angry with the harasser and demanded he apologised, which led to me being temp banned from the sub for “trying to cause drama again”.
At that time, I began to question the user I believed to be on my side. I sent a PM to them about their username and the true purpose of the account, but they never responded back. With more questions in my mind, I reached out to the “help” sub, telling other users that I suspected that somebody was impersonating me or it it was all just a coincidence, as for some more context, their username vaguely resembled mine, though they were named after a character from a game I have no interest in.
My harasser then barged in and silenced me by saying that none of the other moderators thought that the user was me and that I should have no concerns regarding that account. Many hours after I made that post, the “imposter” account was mysteriously deleted. Shockingly, it still didn’t end here!
My other harasser with a history of indirectly harassing others by namedropping them with derogatory remarks under the guise of “memes”, had done it multiple times, even long after the three other dramas were over. They did it in the comments within tardtales, and even on other “edgy” subreddits. Informing another old moderator about it, hell broke loose again, but the other harasser who had deep ties with him tried to downplay the situation, and even compared me to Hitler by saying that “even though he might’ve said sorry that doesn’t change what happened” when I tried apologising multiple times for my behaviour because of my vulnerability and the fact that I WAS JUST A CHILD AT THE TIME THIS WHOLE THING WAS GOING ON. I didn’t question it because if I did then he would silence me even more.
Even after this whole situation, the other harasser would still get away with this behaviour and even get promoted as mod by the other major harasser.
All this time leading to mid-2018, I contacted the mods of other subreddits he was in getting them to delete comments and ban him for namedropping me. And mind you, the admins did jackshit about the harassment campaign I was caught in. I contacted them multiple times via the normal Reddit PM system and email, and always got the same bullshit AI bot response that goes “thanks for reporting. my important advice is to ignore the users and not reply to them further”, yet, even if I didn’t engage with them, they still insultet me. The block button wasn’t better either because it only let you so that once you blocked the person bothering you, YOU WOULDN’T SEE THEM INTERACTING WITH YOU rather than the system in all other socmeds where the blocked cannot communicate with you AT ALL.
Furious from being ignored by the admins, I re-opened the reform subreddit, made a call-out video specifically for one of my harassers, and got the “mod” to see it. A few days later, he mocked me and banned me from X, and THEN made a copy subreddit with a description that said “fuck off (my username)”, trying to get me to keep it. Obviously, I didn’t want to keep it, and successfully closed it own after several failed attempts. At one point, I brought the two harassers including X up on a sub where you could report a misbehaving mod, where each of us told our own versions of the story.
Guess who the sub’s mods sided with?
Following up, I was threatened to get reported to the admins and then suspended, and afraid, I had no choice but to comply. And then, a few months later, something miraculous happened…
The harasser who stalked me, who was a mod for X, got his mod privileges revoked, and banned from the subreddit after one of the old moderators (the kindest I’ve ever seen tbh) got multiple messages from other users saying that he mistreated them, and when doing an investigation through his acc, the old mod realised that everything he was told turned out to be true. He got banned, and never touched the subreddit again.
Due to all of the stress and trauma surrounding my harassment, I decided, after being inactive for months after getting advice from someone on Discord, deleted my account (exactly two years after it was created), vowing to never go back there again.
I guess I’m done with the story. Remember, it is supposed to tell you about how Reddit’s administration team doesn’t take reports about rule violations seriously, mostly harassment/cyberbullying-related, and the fact that they care more about the site’s reputation than the safety of their own users. Looking back at it 6 years from now, I’m glad that my sister tried to keep me away from the site.
- datavoid ( @datavoid@lemmy.ml ) English21•9 months ago
Who could have known that the mods of tardtales would be assholes
- TheRtRevKaiser ( @TheRtRevKaiser@beehaw.org ) English16•9 months ago
I’m sorry that happened to you, it sounds like it was a rough time. This is something I think about with my kids, who are a few years younger than you were when this happened. We don’t give them un-monitored access to social media precisely because I know that kids that age lack the impulse control to just walk away when something like this happens or something is bothering them, so it’s so easy for a teen to get pulled into a situation online where they’re being harassed or bullied and they just don’t have the tools to disconnect from the situation on their own.
Thank you for the nice comment. And yeah, the Internet is a truly dangerous place.
- Altima NEO ( @altima_neo@lemmy.zip ) English5•9 months ago
Especially when Reddit is supposed to be 18+, but anyone can join it if parents aren’t monitoring their children.
It’s technically 13+ according to Reddit’s rules, but should’ve been higher than that, given the nature of the site.
- FIash Mob #5678 ( @FlashMobOfOne@beehaw.org ) English13•9 months ago
These stories kind of make me glad I’m so quick to block people. Anytime someone approaches me that isn’t doing so in good faith gets the hammer.
I’m sorry all that happened to you.
Thank you, I really appreciate it.
- Kissaki ( @Kissaki@beehaw.org ) English2•9 months ago
A little anecdote about quickly blocking people/toxicity:
In the videogame SMITE you can block people. And I was quick to do so when people were being toxic (blaming, raging, insulting, etc), and did so relatively quickly on unfair and unnecessary negativity (it never gets better).
After a few years, I could no longer add others to my friendslist. Apparently, there was a shared friendlist+blocklist counting towards the 1k friendslist maximum. And I had reached it.
Removing years-old blocks to free up friend slots was not an issue of course.
- Aloomineum ( @Aloomineum@beehaw.org ) English7•9 months ago
I mean, the fact that a subreddit based on making fun of people with disabilities even existed says a lot about reddit, just like dozens of other deplorable subreddits. Unfortunately some of those subs are still around to this day.
I’m sorry you went through this, the internet can be awful. The stuff I used to see on 4chan back in 2005+ was insane. In a lot of ways it hasn’t really gotten any better on reddit.
It’s alarming that when they rejected you, you doubled down and tried to adhere to their standards to fit in even more. But you were young and toxic groups like those exploit people all the time.
I hope now you understand it is not okay to make fun of disabled people like that.
Thank you. I stopped thinking it was okay since years ago.
I also find it really vile that on the r/OffMyChest subreddit, there are users saying vile things about disabled people (especially the intellectual/developmental kind) and they are allowed to get away with it under the guise of “venting”.
- PelicanPersuader ( @PelicanPersuader@beehaw.org ) English4•9 months ago
Reddit enables unhinged people to be awful. I never had anything as bad as your issue happen, but I did have a user who I once disagreed with continue to follow me around and message me for years after that minor disagreement, claiming that I made them suicidal. I eventually got sick of them and blocked them, but it was bizarre. People like that shouldn’t have access to social media sites.
Agree. Reddit is like the mirror to the dark side of humanity.
Hello, guys! Back here with an update from me.
I just want to say thank you all for being supportive of me. At the time I posted that, I was afraid that something bad was gonna happen, but I just had to be brave. Beehaw has this aura of kindness that is very rare to see on the web nowadays, and I am all for it.
Since posting it, me and my mind could finally be at peace and move on from that gruesome ordeal I went through. No matter what happened in the past, I will not and never let it define who I am as a person.
Right now, I have to go back and focus on my personal things.