If so, does that mean people actually remember a persons name & face after only one encounter?!
If not, why do we pretend they will be upset, and try to hide the fact that we forget an unfamiliar name?
Some people do get upset; some people don’t.
The easily upset don’t—or refuse to—understand that 1) some of us have brains that just don’t remember people’s names very well, and that 2) they should get over themselves.
I usually find it relieving because I don’t remember their name, either.
Yes! I spend way too much time wishing other people will mess up so I’m not worst in class, haha.
People get upset if you part your hair wrong. Forgetting a name hasn’t gotten me killed yet but stranger things have happened.
I can remember someone’s name after one meeting but when I can’t it makes me feel awkward. I feel less awkward when 9 times out of 10 they forgot meeting me the first time.
Some do, some don’t.
I certainly won’t as I tend to forget names a lot. Call me as you wish.
Thanks, as you wish!
Alright, As You Wish.
Westley?
It really depends on the context. What was the first encounter? If it was a first date, then yeah, that’s brutal and you suck. If it was a quick intro at a busy event, it’s almost expected.
There’s a bit of a difference between names and faces. Forgetting a name is like forgetting a piece of trivia, but if you meet and speak to somebody and can’t recognize them in a different context (and they look basically the same), it can send a signal that you didn’t find them memorable (and you didn’t lol).
The only time in my life when I found it irritating was my best friend’s roommate who, after hanging out with them in small groups dozens of times for hours each time, still kept introducing herself to me on subsequent visits. I could never figure out if it was drugs, a method of humour or flirting I didn’t understand, or she was really that oblivious to other people.
At work I once told the customer to stop talking during the presentation because I didn’t recognize them as our customer.
I have face blindness. It was an innocent mistake but wow do I regret doing that.
On the remembering faces topic: I want to tell you about a condition called face blindness. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prosopagnosia
And people might not even realize they have it.
I was on a third date, and we met an acquaintance of mine. I went to introduce them and blanked. Worse, I went for what I thought I remembered, which ended up close enough to be culturally insensitive. His name was Franz and I said Fritz and he was pretty hurt.
How is that culturally insensitive?
He was Austrian in Germany and those are both very stereotypically Austrian names.
That just seems petty. They both sound like generic German names to me. There even used to be a Kaiser named Fritz. Just recently I was asking someon “was your name James?” reply: “no, Jason”. It was a non-issue
He also had a bit of a chip on his shoulder about it, to be fair.
I always lead by stating I suck at remembering names, which usually works. Still I understand why some get upset, because they themselves spend a lot of time and energy cramming names. I too cram names if they’re needed in a work function.
Depends, in my experience.
In High School, I forgot someone’s name, and being autistic and all, I just said outright “You, I forgot your name”. We knew each other and all, but I have an issue associating people’s face to a name. Of course, they were upset, but since they used sarcasm I had a hard time figuring it out (autism) until one of my friends asked me why I said that, and told me it was impolite.
Now I basically explain that I have trouble remembering names, and usually my new friends understand. I guess you just need to say that you usually have trouble with it and you should be fine.
Some do, some don’t. As with any large enough group
I have an extremely hard time remembering peoples names so I have no issue if people forget mine.
I’m just honest and go something like " sorry man I’m an idiot and can never remember names", generally people are chill about it.
Bro I can’t remember a name for anything, so I just use a filler, like “bro”.
People like when other people care about them and one way to show that is to remember their name. Some people are too self important and think everyone should remember their name. We have a name for that. It’s Asshole.
Knowing people’s names isn’t about hearing it once and remembering. It’s about learning people’s names and forming relationships. Here are some ways I learn names
When you meet someone and they tell you their name repeat it to them. When you ask them a question, address them by name. Use their name more than you think you should.
…And when you inevitably forget their name, apologize and ask again. Before they even know you forgot. Sometimes (most of the time) they don’t remember your name either.
Better still. Apologize, tell them you forgot, and ask them if you can guess. You know what you think it was. Was it close to Jason? Do I look like a Jason to you? Well, actually… (better conversation than what preceded)
Use mnemonics. A girl in my class sat three from the end. Her name was Trinity. Zoe and kYm were next to each other in the back of the room. YZ. Use your penchant for location as a tool rather than excuse.
Deliberately read nametags. At the supermarket checkout. Security guards. Janitors. Doesn’t matter. Thank them by name. This is EXACTLY what their tags are for. Use them! This is good practice for when it “actually matters” or an easy way to be decent to other people.
I get relieved. I feel like it gives me an imaginary “get one name wrong” credit.
If we’ve just met, not at all.
If we’ve been best friends for 10 years, that would sting a little.
I have a pretty good memory for faces, just really not for names. I know where and when I met someone but I can’t tell you their name even if we met a bunch of times.
I’ve got shit recognition of faces, poor remembrance of names, but fantastic remembrance and recognition of voices.
It’s a challenge.
Yeah, I can often do voices best too. It’s strange that a little piece of vibrating cartilage can be distinguished so well.
In my experience most conversion’s don’t require the use of a name, so it’s not that noticeable if I forget a name.
Yeah. Using people’s names much in conversation just feels like, scummy to me. Like trying to make friends and influence people or whatever