So. Without trauma dumping, I’ll simply say my dad is a bad dad. What’s a father’s day gift that says “you’re dead to me, but I’m still doing things to keep drama at bay”?
Nothing. Literally nothing. Bad gifts are for annoying close friends, any amount of effort put into a gift for your father would imply that you care what he thinks.
Low value gift card from a local dinner place. So he has to go there to use it and then it’s only like 10 dollars and he has to fork over the rest.
This.
Nothing says “I have fulfilled my social obligation, but I don’t give a shit about you” more than a low value giftcard for somewhere generic.
Alternatively, give him a halfway decent gift and feel better about yourself for not continuing the cycle of neglect, even when he won’t appreciate it. We can make the world better, even for those of us that don’t deserve it, and considering how to make it a better place as opposed to how to get back at the people who make it a worse one is just a better use of our time and energy.
Besides, at the end of the day, truly awful people already live with the worst punishment so could imagine: having to wake up every morning and continue being themselves.
Pure evil.
Make it 20. 10 is too obvious a slight to any onlooker. 20 still won’t cover most mains post-covid after tax and tip (depends on your region and the restaurant of course).
Off-brand scented candle set.
It says I don’t know you at all, but here’s your present.
Ooh I like this. Especially since he hates strong smells.
Get something like Bergamont; something so few people actually genuinely like, but smells fancy with a quick whiff. Boring and unexpressive after 30 seconds.
Alternatively, try something like cupcakes or vanilla icing. The kind of candle that would give you a headache.
It’s also practical because the gift is cheap without looking cheap.
I’m sorry to say that I’m speaking from personal experience.
Hm… I wonder if Walmart still has watermelon scented candles. “But dad, it smells just like summer!”
Oh my gosh I had those! They did actually smell good with a quick sniff, but I hated them so much I threw out the rest.
Yeah my wife loved the smell in the aisle, but it got old really fast at home lol
you’re dead to me, but I’m still doing things to keep drama at bay
To me it sounds like you’re looking for drama
A short text the day after Father’s Day. Then you did send something, it just wasn’t timely or appreciative.
That said, I generally send my shitty dad a text on the actual day. It usually just says, “Happy Father’s Day, have a good one.” Last year I forgot to send one and then, when I remembered, chose not to.
TL;DR: do as much or as little as you want.
You go no contact.
The end.
Sixpack of beer? (Optionally alcohol-free, if his bad behavior is related to alcohol abuse.)
That would be especially funny because he’s Mormon, and he’s very upset I’m not.
A “Moroni is full of bologna” T-shirt?
Copy of the south park episode on Mormons?
Ugly socks?
Honestly that’s kind of what I’m thinking. Then he has to store them, and he’d feel like he had to wear them at least once. Just a little upsetting for him.
If you’re REALLY sure that ignoring the day would open the floodgates for retaliation, I’d text him or give a generic card. If he’s just gonna be angry and bitch at you, let him be angry and block his number.
If you’re currently in an abusive situation and possibly in harms way I think this might be beyond Lemmy’s paygrade, since we don’t know what sets him off. But it’s OK to play nice for the short term if it keeps you safe long enough to escape.
What’s his issue? Give him something tangential.
Big drinker? Cheapest bottle opener or a nip of his favorite sauce.
Angry asshole? Get him a therapy ball.
The biggest thing my condescending asshole stepdad taught me was “Kill them with kindness”. If you’re kind in a backhanded way, it’ll piss them off and you can feign innocence.
Personally I’d give him a box of dogshit
Any of these passive aggressive comments and in addition something for yourself. Because you deserve it.
Why bother at all? Just ignore him
A plain white gift card with the following text maybe?
Hello father,
today is Father’s Day. As your son I am expected to send you a gift card at least.
This is the gift card.
[Your first and last name]
A sample set of cheap shower gel.
Partially used, or missing one item out of the set.
And if you really want to drive it home, make sure he knows you kept the one item to use yourself.
I didn’t think Father’s Day gifts were that much of a standard thing. Most I’ve ever done is a text and maybe taking him to dinner or golfing.
So a “happy father’s day” card if you need to get something