Feel free to share any life experiences or anecdotes.
“Only break one law at a time.” None of us are perfect; That will help keep you out of life-changing trouble.
This is the most pragmatic advice I’ve read that I think might actually be heeded by a young adult.
Drink more water.
Other people will never complete you, but they’re nice to have around. So focus and work on yourself, but stay empathetic.
- intensely_human ( @intensely_human@lemm.ee ) 4•2 months ago
And don’t try to complete somebody else, no matter how meaningful it feels in the moment to do so.
Worry more about your job than your grades. Create a stable source of income, your degree can wait especially if it’s not a traditionally stable profession (medicine, accountant, lawyer, etc).
Exercise and maintain your strength and flexibility. This is super important, more so than the job. Staying healthy early on will save you a lot of money in doctors appointments by the time you hit your late 20s.
Don’t go to college. Run away to a country that doesn’t have a US military base and live a simple, happy, peaceful life.
Because those countries are happily accepting uneducated immigrants, right?
Usually…
Any examples? I’ve lived in 10 countries so far and am about to move to the 11th end of this month. Neither of them had a US military presence (Liberia did have a massive UN presence though), and all of them required an academic record to grant a residence permit.
I believe Georgia (the country) was the only one that didn’t, but that’s because of a special agreement they have with the EU.
How did you like Georgia? I keep beong obsessed by it (because music).
I loved it there, and meant to move back at some point. Amazing people, food, and landscape.
Unfortunately from a few friends I still have there (both locals and foreigners) I heard that after Russia invaded Ukraine, they are swamped with refugees from both countries(escaping the war or the draft), pushing hospitality to its limits, prices have more than quadrupled, and there are a lot of tensions thanks to some pro-Russian political powers (no doubt backed by Putin).
So for now I’ll stay put in Asia, but still didn’t give up on it entirely…
Stop drinking, you’ll save so much money and get ripped with barely any effort 💪💪
Or at least don’t waste it all drinking… I spent so much of my early 20s drinking and playing video games with my friends. While I made some great memories, it was excessive and I could have done a lot more with my time.
Get therapy if you feel there’s even a remote possibility you could benefit from it, especially if you can check anything off the adverse child experience list. The way trauma impacts you and your relationships with everyone else, and even your body, is hard to understand when it’s normal to you.
How did you address your trauma? What methods did you find worked?
Therapy and medication has put me in the best state I’ve been in for basically my entire life. I’m not “cured” or anything, but between the meds and processing a lot of shit in therapy I’m at least better able to cope and interrupt my own negative spirals much more easily.
I’d been doing all the self soothing, meditation, etc techniques that people recommend for decades, and it was really only after dealing with underlying issues in therapy and getting on meds that those things actually started working for me.
I was kind of mad when I realized that because for so many years I thought I just needed to git gud, but it turns out most people can’t hype themselves out of the lingering effects of childhood trauma! Who could have foreseen this 🥴
No one has life figured out. Everyone has the same insecurities, fears, and doubts. Everyone is pretending to know what they’re doing at least part of the time.
Be yourself, even if it means the people in your life currently will hate you. You’ll find people who love the real you and you’ll be much happier even if it ends up making your life harder.
(this doesn’t apply if your real self is a dick, work on that)
I spent my 20s pretending to be the person the people in my life wanted me to be and it was miserable, I’m unapologetically myself in my 30s even if I’m still figuring out who that is. Its so much better and I wish I did it a decade ago.
Don’t assume you have to get on the relationship escalator of “dating - exclusive - engaged - married”. There are other kinds of relationships, including no romantic/sexual relationships at all. Don’t stick with someone who’s not making you happy out of inertia or a sense of obligation.
Be social. Don’t burn yourself out socializing every night of the week, but if people are inviting you to be a part of their life make a good effort to show up. Video games or YouTube or whatever will always be there. Friends won’t. (This assumes the social stuff they’re inviting you to isn’t , like, insane. Skip on someone inviting you to do heroin or whatever.)
Pay attention to your spending. Some people like a dedicated program for budgeting, or their bank provides something. I’m a particular kind of nerd so I used Google sheets. Whatever you use, adding up what you’re actually spending every month can be illuminating. I don’t expect anyone to discover “if I stop getting avocado toast I can afford a house”, but knowing where your money is going is an important prerequisite for controlling it.
Don’t fall into lifestyle inflation. Like, a friend of mine started making good money and his budget grew. He was spending $1000/month on food because he’d just gotten used to dining out and such. His paycheck was bigger but he wasn’t saving any more. Another guy I used to work with told me his family “struggled too” despite a $500k family income. They had a big house, new cars, expensive memberships, extravagant vacations, designer clothes. You can just not do a lot of that and be happy, too.
Be social. Don’t burn yourself out socializing every night of the week, but if people are inviting you to be a part of their life make a good effort to show up.
This is a really good one. You never know where these things lead. Future lifelong friends. Future romantic partners. Future job opportunities. I’m quickly moving past my 30s and hearing about the “I’m so alone” people is really depressing, as our species are social animals. I also say this a introvert.
If you’re not being invited to parties or BBQs, then be the change in the world and make them.
Realize that one of the main determinants of your lifelong happiness will be your choice of partner.
Don’t get too serious with someone that isn’t going to elevate you, but also make sure that you’re elevating your chosen partner.
Get accostumed to eat your veggies, once you hit you 30s your intestine starts revolting if you don’t give it healthy food
Understand how sun cream factors work and always wear it.
Get one good cooking knife and learn how to hone and sharpen it. You have to sharpen it often and almost immediately. Learn how to cut vegetables. Start with onions because they are cheap and versatile.
Keep a freewriting journal.
If you’re a guy take a moment to look into what women go through in their lives with guys. It’s not complicated or mysterious, it’s just that a significant portion of guys never heard about it. It’ll automatically make you a better man and you’ll have a better time too :)
Do not marry the first girl you fuck (or the first boy, either way, mixed ways too, anytype anyway).
Go live with him/her, share an apartment (do not buy together) for months, live together for some time.
Possibly, break up and meet more people, rinse and repeat until you understand:
- what you WANT in the other person
- what you EXPECT from the other person
And more important even, learn to understand the other person for what he/she is and not what you think he/she is.
Meh, sometimes you just know after seeing who’s out there. I wouldn’t recommend breaking off something good and risking not getting it back because of your insecurities.
Indeed, in fact, as soon as the above questions are satisfied, that’s when you stop.
Don’t drink and drive.
Always keep a first aid kit with you.
Actually know how to use your first aid kit.
It should be in a drawer or bag with a conspicuous Red Cross on it. If a stranger can’t figure out where the first aid kit is, you fucked up.