Job: cashier
Item doesn’t scan
Customer: “That means it’s free, right?”
🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
Only about 4 weeks in as a cashier and I’ve heard this enough to last me a lifetime.
Im a locksmith.
Customer: Do you make duplicates? Me: Yes C: How much? M: Depends on the type of key C: The normal one M: -_-
Or, after opening a customers door who was locked out:
C: Why so expensive tho? It only took you five minutes! M: -_- (Thats exactly why you dumb fuck, and I told you the price beforehand)
I also hate when people tries to haggle the price because I know for a fact that Im the cheapest locksmith in the area.
I’d be tempted to lock them back out and leave.
Yeah, I have thought about it. Perhaps some day when I get really tired of that BS I will do it but for now, I need the monies.
Lock the door, drill the core. Charge them for a new core + re keying + installation and wear on the drillbit. Use 30 minutes and make sure the price is 3x of your regular unlock fee. Now they are 6x on your time for only 3x the price. Super bargain
Tbf I’d be kinda pissed (at the situation not you) if I called a locksmith and they just whipped out a Carolina roller and got in in .3s lol.
“Goddammit where can I get one of those?!”
(Internet of course. I already have a long and a portable.)
Yep, hooks, shims, combs, etc. I love them, customers hate them. Get a better door/lock is what I tell them, but your next lock out might be more expensive.
Oh for sure. I meet in the middle, my deadbolt is alright, and it’s always locked unless I’m actively using the door, if I walk out without my keys I’ll get locked out because of the knob, but I can just shrum my way right past the knob lock and retrieve my keys so I can lock the bolt on the way out, and be good to go!
The only thing I need a locksmith for is I have a safe that needs to be re-locked with a dial instead of digital.
Job: Welder
Customer: “Hey I need a welder to fix the railing at my business.”
Me: “OK, I can start work after you close for the day.”
Customer: “Oh no, I’m not staying late. I need you to fix it during business hours.”
Me: “OK then, it’s dangerous work so I’ll need to rope off the area and erect screens to protect the general population from weld flash and grinder sparks.”
Customer: “Oh no, this walkway needs to stay open for customers during business hours.”
Me: “Again, this is dangerous work. Somebody is going to get hurt if they’re permitted to walk through the work area.”
Customer: “I don’t know why you’re being so difficult, just zap zap and you’re done.”
Me: “No, it’s going to take a lot of work. The railing is rusted through so entire sections need to be replaced. It also needs to be level, up to code, cleaned for safety reasons, support the weight of an average adult human, and painted to prevent corrosion. We’re talking multiple days of work and it’s not cheap.”
Customer: “Repairs are not in the budget, but I can spread the word and tell all my friends about you. I have almost two hundred followers on Facebook.”
Me: (silently gets up and walks away)
Customer: “Look at that, another lazy Millennial who doesn’t want to work. Typical. No wonder this nation is going down the crapper.”
Classic example of what would happen if we didn’t have standards and regulations.
You had me until that last part
Patron using the computer: “Your Google is broken! No matter what I search, it just shows me books!”
Me: “…you’re typing in the library’s catalog. This isn’t Google.”
Used to work in this exact environment. This tormented me daily.
Along with crap like “You look pretty smart.” or “Hey I bet you’re a genius.”
Or just typing their email address into the URL bar.
Or just barking at you “PRINT.”
Or “Why this no work, I click ‘E’ for ‘internet’.” (We had a stubbornly archaic IT lead who insisted on keeping Internet Explorer around for ages.)
I was going to suggest putting signs up that clearly state the search bar isn’t Google, but I realized that even if you did, they would likely get ignored. You may even already have them up.
I worked in a office supplier at one point. People would enter the office, put some documents on the first desk they see and look at the guy sitting there. No hello… No sentence… Nothing… That is usually the point when we knew what was up. The guy would look at the documents and say "you aren’t at the right place. Wrong floor. Wrong door. " They would look at us in shock. Sometimes complain that you couldn’t tell where you are. It was always the same. They wanted to get something from the government. They had an office in the same building. There were multiple big sign. There was literally 2 signs outside telling you which floor. Obviously our office had a sign too. They passed at least 3 signs in an office building while they were looking where to go… People don’t read signs… They just don’t.
Can you change the report for this one customer who has a nonstandard completely fucking stupid set up that none of your collection points account for and goes against the entire point of this report?
Well, maybe not those exact words. It’s more like:
- rep: customers XYZ doesn’t like what they see on the report
- me: well tell them to clean up their shit and stop leaving orphaned systems in their environment
- rep: well can’t you just exclude the orphaned ones
- me: the point of the report is to help you clean up your environment. If they did that it would show improvement week over week until it got to the levels they want to see.
- rep: they don’t want to do that, they just want them excluded from the report
- me: no
I hope this customer is being charged for these orphaned systems. They’ll care more if it’s costing them money.
My husband did report-writing for a few years. #GIGO
I work retail. People walk up to me like I’m a robot.
“Duck tape??” They just… Bark at me. I have gotten to the point that I refuse to tell them where something is until they treat me like a human being and ask a very simple question, “where’s duck tape?”
Makes me think of this guy.
“Can we integrate AI into this app?”
“Can you do a browser version of this high-end VR training application?” somehow makes a browser version “Why isn’t this running on my iPhone 3GS?!”
To be fair, WebXR does make VR stuff possible in a browser. But I guess that wasn’t what they wanted.
I think their point was that it’s just never gonna run on a phone that came out in 2009.
“X is down/broke.” No, Kelly, the internet isn’t “down.” You typed the URL wrong in your browser.
People will state it like the entire company has lost internet connectivity, or an entire department cannot access files or run a certain program, when actually, only a single user is having a problem.
Also people not knowing the difference between log out, restart, and shutdown. Even after explaining it to them.
It’s frustrating when you know there’s a huge gap between your comprehension and theirs, but they think you’re the idiot.
At one point, I had to explain to my dad that we’re paying for internet access, not for all servers to be available and sufficiently fast. He was not happy about that.
Yes but you see if I close the lid, then it’s off. And that’s why my system has an up time of 208 hours.
208 hours.
Those are rookie numbers. I’ve had users that didn’t ever shut down. A power outage was the only relief that poor system got.
Ive already said it on another comment here, and i no long work support so im a user myself now but, FUCK USERS!
From many years ago, in a previous career.
Job: IT
Issue: hardware of some kind is broken
Customer, incredulous: “…but it wasn’t broken yesterday!”
Yeah, no shit. That’s how things break. They’re fine, then become broken. Why is this even being discussed?
“We’re in code freeze, so no more changes are to be committed until release! Also, the management needs this change to be fast-tracked to be included with the release, so let’s make it happen, people!”
I just read your comment to my husband and he said, “Every fucking month! Oh my fucking god.” (He’s a DBA.)
I’m in testing and almost ever fucking week I’m trying to QA a release cycle while they’re pushing three last minute features and fucking with the backend, meaning all the frontend stuff I’ve already tested needs done again.
Yep.
I was working at a tool checkout in my shop for a while, and the sheer amount of ignorance and repetition blew me away.
People would come in, see signs stating things like “Don’t throw your hazardous waste in this trash can!”, and people would straight up ignore it. Things got so bad that we had to stop offering a trash can in our part of the shop.
A lot of people would also just repeat the same statements, day after day, week after week. For example, we have iPads that contain maintenance manuals. We have to update those manuals every week, on the same day. Without fail, the same people always forget which day Update Day is, and have to ask.
The worst ones happen when people come to turn in their gear before end of shift. Most people are fine, but every toolbox has to be thoroughly inspected before being scanned back in. Often, somebody misplaced a tool, left garbage in the box somewhere, or there’s some other undocumented discrepancy.
Most people are cool about it, and willing to make things right. But, some people act like you’ve purposely screwed them over, or react with total apathy and disrespect. I don’t make the rules, man, I’m just trying to do my job.
I don’t make the rules, man, I’m just trying to do my job.
I feel this so much.
At my last job as a project manager, I had a director that I worked with that I absolutely despised. On a regular basis we would have this (abridged) interaction:
Director: I don’t understand what this report is trying to say. Take out abc and include xyz. Me: Ok. includes changes in meeting notes next meeting Director: What is this? Why does the report look like this? I don’t even understand why you would make it look like this. Change xyz and include abc. Me: But… Director: No buts, this is my team’s project. Me: …Ok. includes changes in meeting notes next meeting Director: What is going on with this? I don’t understand what’s going on. Why does this report change every time I see it? Me: … Bruh.
This happened so many times that eventually I had to start including my manager in meetings with him, because this dude was insufferable and did not want to accept it when his ideas and changes were shit. He’d always deny he requested changes (even though I documented them in the meeting notes), and everything was everyone’s fault except his. Luckily another director that I got along with really well requested me to work on their projects and I got transferred.
Sounds suspiciously like a director way out of their depth and has little or no idea wha they’re doing.
In order to feel like orlook like they’re adding value to the business they request changes they’re incapable of understanding themselves. Then get even more confused when things “magically” change: because to them it’s voodoo/magic.
That’s actually wild lmao, the only thing I had similar was when a director requested a change and was confused why something changed until I reminded him that he requested me to change it and then he said something along the lines of “oh, alright then, no problem”.
I wonder if it’s like, some of these directors are just older than dinosaurs, and even when they ask for change they are incapable of handling said change, or they are just forgetting that they requested said change? I’m not sure…
I kinda think this particular guy would get flustered and extremely frustrated whenever something would go wrong or there was a tight deadline, so he would take it out on everyone around him (dude would regularly threaten to have people fired for small mistakes that could easily be fixed). And since we were in an IT department with aging equipment/tech, there was always something broken or an effort to upgrade going on. It also didn’t help that he thought and firmly believed that he knew better than everyone else. After I got transferred, my manager had to take over his team because the rest of the PMs were either full up on bandwidth or just straight up didn’t want to work with the guy.
I get this with a young (30’s) CEO at a small business. Dude has literally zero follow through, he will ask for things, you will do them, he will forget he asked for them, and then complain you didn’t do an entirely unrelated thing that he never asked for. I am genuinely astounded at how he makes it to the office the few days he’s actually here.
Remember that Black Mirror episode where they would record everything with their eye implants and play something back as needed?
100% this guy would have turned it around to make an issue about me recorded his meetings lol
Job: cashier. Not my current job, but definitely the one that racked up the most irritating quotes.
Customer: “Now, don’t you try to double scan my items. I’m watching you.”
I heard this one constantly when I was a cashier at a grocery store. At first I assumed that they were kidding. After all, it’s such a stupid accusation to make. It was only after about 100 elderly people had said it while staring daggers at me that I realized they weren’t kidding.
I assume there must have been a news report in the 1960s about store clerks charging you twice for an item and then taking the extra cash, and a certain kind of person had been paranoid about it ever since. Except this wasn’t in the 1960s, it was the 2010s, and such a scam couldn’t even work anymore. The cash register isn’t just a lockbox like it was in the 60s, it’s a computer and it knows exactly how much money should be in it. And if it has less than that in it when your shift ends, you’re screwed.
Plus, you’re paying with a credit card, Gertrude, how am I supposed to steal your shit when you’re paying with a credit card?
I think the thing that made it so irritating was the fact that they are willing to whip out this assertive, domineering attitude at you based on information that hasn’t been true for about forty freaking years. They have a mistrust of other people because they don’t know how the world works anymore, yet they think they’ve outsmarted you.
The way you described then makes me think of the “make sure your man double-bags” scene* in Shawshank Redemption.
*WARNING: Major spoilers for the movie if you haven’t seen it. In which case, you should really go see it. It’s one of the best movies in existence.
The movie’s 30 years old, I think we can relax the spoiler warning.
I don’t ever want to be the one responsible for spoiling such a good movie for someone who hasn’t seen it, even today.
“Do this as a temporary measure. We will code it properly later” —> code that is hackish and will never be replaced.
“We need you to do this one time because of someBullshit” —> congratulations, your team had to do this thing outside of your specialty, even though there exists a team dedicated to it, and now we’re just going to make you do it over and over again (despite, again, a whole team dedicated to that existing).
Do this as a temporary measure. We will code it properly later
I’m always blown away whenever someone says that they like some language or framework because it’s “great for prototyping.”
Like, what magical fairyland software company do you work at where your prototypes are not immediately put into production as soon as they kind of start to work?
You should tell them this is not 'Nam. There are rules.
These are older lessons and I’m generally pretty effective at pushing back on those now. I’m not a manager, though, so I can be overruled.
When I was first starting as a server at this one restaurant, I swear every other phrase out of my coworkers’ mouths when they saw me during the entire first 2 weeks was, “you having fun yet?”. And everytime, I’d give a half-assed smirk and say “oh you know it”. So dumb. That phrase still irritates the shit out of me to this day.
I once had a job in an office building that was shared by several different businesses. One of them was an accounting firm that seemed like an incredibly boring place. And I swear, every time two guys from the accounting firm passed each other in the hallway, they had to say to each other, “You having fun yet?” or “Are ya workin’ hard or hardly workin’?”
It must have been a requirement. Literally company policy. I heard it so many times in just a couple years, there’s no other explanation. Like, if you didn’t say it, the manager would ask to see you in his office, and he’d be like, “Hey Phil, someone tells me that you and Dave passed each other in the hallway, and neither of you said ‘you having fun yet.’ Now you know we like to have fun around here, and ‘you having fun yet’ is part of our company culture, so I’m gonna need you to make sure that you say ‘you having fun yet.’ It’s for fun. And we like to have fun. It’s mandatory.”
Livin’ the dream!
“Nightmares are dreams too”
There’s a reason Office Space is such a popular movie.
The office they worked in is so similar to one I worked in. The scene that sticks out the most was them walking back from lunch and cutting through the ditch to get back quicker.
So…
You having fun yet?
Go fuck yourself
When I worked in retail, I had this wanker of a middle manager who would ask how I was getting on, and when I said fine, he’d always say “It’s not rocket science, is it?”
He was mid twenties and only a few years older than me. He used to call female employees “babe”.
One time I watched him get a withering telling off from a customer. The customer wasn’t in the right, but it felt like a little bit of retribution for all us “babes”.
I’m currently a medical student in my clinical rotations…
Me: “So it looks like we’re due for our (blank) month/year vaccinations. Have those been done already or do we need them today?”
Parent: “Oh, we’re not vaccinating.”
Me: screaming internally
I was going to say the EXACT same thing. People even are refusing the vitamin K shot in their newborns
I’ve heard the neonatologists say that they make the parents repeat back, write down, and sign a consent form that says “I understand that refusing the vitamin K shot significantly increases the chances of bleeding, including brain bleeds that can lead to significant disability or death.”
Not many people seem to want to sign that form for some reason.
