- Zagorath ( @Zagorath@aussie.zone ) 24•1 month ago
The biggest, most monstrous dildo you can find.
He never uses it. Just befriends it and talks to it like in the original. Just leave the possibility hanging there.
- Skua ( @Skua@kbin.earth ) 12•1 month ago
For the entire duration, he can’t work out what it actually is because it’s such a weird shape and so ridiculously huge that it being a dildo never even crosses his mind
- Tolookah ( @Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de ) 8•1 month ago
And instead of Wilson, it can be called Doc, or Dr Johnson. (Having a name like bad dragon seems a stretch, maybe baddra?)
- Blizzard ( @Blizzard@lemmy.zip ) English21•1 month ago
A tennis ball.
- Septimaeus ( @Septimaeus@infosec.pub ) 10•1 month ago
An MRE. When supplies dwindle, our protagonist is faced with a tragic choice.
- ShaggySnacks ( @ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one ) English9•1 month ago
A coconut. Those who know, will know. Those who don’t, may their innocence last forever.
- Elise ( @xilliah@beehaw.org ) 5•1 month ago
- ShaggySnacks ( @ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one ) English4•1 month ago
Grandma “So that’s what a coconut is used for.”
- Elise ( @xilliah@beehaw.org ) 2•1 month ago
“I’ve been doing it wrong all these years”
- ShaggySnacks ( @ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one ) English3•1 month ago
Grandma is doing a goatse.
- Cataphract ( @Cataphract@lemmy.ml ) 7•1 month ago
A bowling ball. Can change some of the script so he catches it before it rolls off the raft but he falls in the water with it. He’s too heavy and weak to make it back to the raft so he has to let go and watch it immediately sink or he’s taken under too (also a good reference how it’s hard to save someone from drowning when you’re near drowning yourself). Definitely thought of a dildo first till I saw everyone else put it up though.
The severed head of a man named Wilson.
- jet ( @jet@hackertalks.com ) English5•1 month ago
Coconut would be believably available on the island, and you could have a whole arc when he runs out of water and fights over killing his friend to drink the juice, like a schizophrenic episode
- yngmnwntr ( @yngmnwntr@lemmy.ml ) 4•1 month ago
Plus the sexual tension.
- jet ( @jet@hackertalks.com ) English2•1 month ago
Step-coconut what are you doing?
- ComradeSharkfucker ( @sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml ) English5•1 month ago
A 1ft tungston cube
- teawrecks ( @teawrecks@sopuli.xyz ) 3•1 month ago
A walkie talkie that he can’t find any batteries for.
- gencha ( @gencha@lemm.ee ) 1•1 month ago
Oh look, a chainsaw. Now I just have to find gas…
- Kacarott ( @Kacarott@aussie.zone ) 3•1 month ago
A pot plant which he might try take care of for a while before realising it’s plastic, but has already grown attached to it.
- Trebuchet ( @Trebuchet@lemm.ee ) 2•1 month ago
A fleshlight.
- MagicShel ( @MagicShel@programming.dev ) 1•1 month ago
A big rock that has the vague shape of a human face.
I know someone who had such a rock in their house. They kept a cigarette in its “mouth.”
- Mammothmothman ( @Mammothmothman@lemmy.ca ) 1•1 month ago
A mannequin
- onlooker ( @onlooker@lemmy.ml ) 1•1 month ago
How about a pet rock?
- InputZero ( @InputZero@lemmy.ml ) 1•1 month ago
Some piece of very modern technology that floats. I think Wilson in the movie represents Hank’s character’s last grasp at a shred of civilization, so he holds onto it as hard as he can. My first idea was an e-ink tablet with an author’s face on it, but that’s a little too on the nose. Maybe it should be something that reflects how much more reliant we are on our modern conveniences than we were during the original.
Edit: Raycon earbuds. He calls them Ray and if you’re lucky that might also bring in some sponsorship money