inb4 “if it’s legal it’s not a crime”
I’d go rob the people that made my entire 20’s and 30’s into indentured student loan servitude for exactly the dollar figure they stole from me plus the insane interest that they tacked onto it because they owned politicians who eliminated all avenues that I could’ve used to get out of that contract.
The figure they stole from me: $197,355.49
I know of an exploit on a horribly designed website for a national car park company that would allow me to write a script that would effectively give me and anyone else i know free parking for ever for all car parks administered by this company in the country (which is a lot of car parks).
So i’d do that
I love that you have a very specific and arguably moral crime in mind, and it inspired this post.
tbh, i was inspired by a post with the same title while lurking on reddit. i have a rule about not posting there though so i bought the conversation here
I keep my head down. No legal consequences isn’t the same thing as no consequences.
Crime means breaking the law, correct?
No location is named, so I will assume this refers the laws of physics and reality.
I would:
- expand time so that it lasts a near infinite duration, contained entirely within this day of no crime
- transmute a bunch of the rocks in my apartment into gold
- alter my DNA to include working wings like a bat, a prehensile tail like a monkey, gills like a salamander, enviromental adaptability like a chameleon that’s selective so I can hide these enhancements from others
- one more enhancement related to a very specific part of the anatomy of a horse or blue whale, or whatever it is people want these days
- remove all genetic defects of my body, like susceptability to cancer and addictions, grant it full immunity to diseases, put it into a perfect equilibrium with near instantaneous regeneration and longevity and thus allowing my life to last as long as I desire
- create a star from nothing and collapse it in a way that stores all of its energy into a pocket sized battery with perfect functionality and adaptability that is nearly indestructable
- hold hands with two chicks at the same time
It’s fun to dream of the impossible.
The law does not currently prevent me from doing anything I want to do.
- Call me Lenny/Leni ( @shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee ) English14•7 months ago
IllegalLegal immigration.I didn’t even think of that. i could apply for US and EU passports
Why’d you go for a US passport considering their globally reaching tax laws?
So i pay an accountant to file a tax return once a year. Seems okay. It’s a powerful passport
I would move to Scandinavia, maybe Denmark or Netherlands.
if I still had my last dog then walk her without a leash.
I’m a renter, so I’d throw a brick through each window of my property manager’s tesla.
Assuming we got some time beforehand to prep, blow up a pipeline or 7
Rob a bank.
it might be legal but you still have to deal with security
Go shoplift anything I want. Snack/trinket party!
Banksssss! Rob banks! Then use that money to buy snacks forever!
That’d require planning tho.
> Tries to rob a bank
> gets shot
It the best day of the year to get rich from the imaginary economy of assets. Set a bot to match the trades of some people who will be insider trading and cash in every year.
I don’t think that is illegal now. As you are technically not an insider
The difference is that on most days people would need to hide their inside trades. One day a year it would all be out in the open because nothing could happen to anyone. It would wreck the economy and collect wealth in the hands of those who already have it, but if you ride the corruption wave you may not end up among the have-nots.
They’d still hide it, exactly so people can’t scoop them this way.
This I think is wishful thinking. If they already made the trade and profited, they’re not going to care about the people scooping according to what they did. If the followers-on like me overinflate or kill the asset depending on what the cheater did all it would do is damage the economy. If you are in a position of aristocratic privilege such that insider trading is possible for you, destroying the economy is an opportunity to acquire assets at a bargain.
Depends on the trade. If they sell before a stock collapses, that’s true. They better do it before all the other insiders do, though - and you better be first too. Like, microseconds quick, if your strategy is just to copy them 1:1. If they’re doing something multi-step it becomes a game where they have to be careful to preserve their information advantage, or it becomes worthless.
Man, I gotta brew something up in case a Crime Day comes up.
I’d like to do some proper money laundering but I’d need dirty money first. Idk, if skill wasn’t an issue, I’d hack the bank and erase my debt? No, make the bank owe ME.
Nuke the world.
That’s not murder; it’s a war crime.