I fucking hate notifications. I either disable them entirely or delete the app. No in betweens. Remind me to use your app?..deleted.
That’s what’s good about android, all apps need to ask if they can send notifications when first installed. I rarely allow it.
I too take any unwanted notification as a potential threat: the only answer is immediate annihilation of said app. Basically the dark forest hypothesis but it’s my phone.
Dark phorest
Daurk Phaurwressed.
This right here gave me a chub to read.
Based
My phone my rulesSeriously, I wish I could just set up some kind of regex filter in iOS Shortcuts or something that would let me specify what notifications to show or block.
Doesn’t help that corporate social media apps will give you controls over every single notification type except for the ones they ram down your throat daily.
I have a very specific notification in mind: I’ve opened Instagram organically maybe eight times in the past decade, but I’ll open my messages if someone send me a message there. I can’t open their shitty platform on a browser as they hate VPNs on desktop. With all due respect to the meme posters on Lemmy, the fresh brainrot my friends send me on there is much easier humor to digest than whatever mix of Everett True, Star Trek, and den Döner-Mann nicht fragen warum er nur Bargeld nimmt the Lemmy All page has for me on most days. So I keep that malware on my phone. I want a notification when they send me a message. I want a notification when someone I meet wants to follow me. I’m squarely in the lower quantile of ages on Lemmy and a lot of people I want in my life will use that platform as their primary messenger, and while it’s not ideal, I do want those notifications. You know what notification I don’t want?
See some of today’s most watched reels!
Their stupid app sent me this notification, like clockwork, about once every 23 hours.
Check out some of today’s most watched reels!
I’ve never watched a reel in my fucking life. I still call them Stories and I haven’t watched them even when they were called that. They put the button for Reels right at the bottom where all the important stuff should be, so I’ll fat finger my way into the Reels section once every three years, and it’ll still be at the tutorial screen where it tells you to swipe and tap and whatever. You can’t seek through the videos of course - not interested.
They know I’ve left it on the tutorial screen for longer than 20% of their userbase has been alive. And yet —
Check out some of today’s most watched reels!
(This is mostly an exaggeration, it was like once a week, and I left notifications off until recently because I met a group of people who use it more than my usual crowd. I have not been bombarded by unfiltered notification sewage for a decade lol)
And they didn’t have a toggle for that notification either until pretty recently. Or maybe I didn’t look hard enough. Wish everyone would stop using these apps and try hacking together a terrible HTML website like the good old days. Computers are wasted on us all. Hosting video is expensive, it must be rapaciously profitable to be trying to get everyone hooked on it.
postscript
This being Lemmy, I’m going to politely ask people to leave me be with my locked down phone OS and corporate malware. Yes yes I know, the only phone really worth using has a bare metal OS, you gotta ask your relatives to resend the family photos as ascii art so you can see your niblings in the CLI, you gotta laser out your phone’s processor’s clock and replace it with a mechanical switch that you flick back and forth so you can be 100% sure the phone isn’t running when you don’t want it to. I get it, I hear you, I’m just generally content with this phone and I’ll probably get its overpriced underwhelming successor in 5 years when I need a new one. It’s fine. It’s not a PC. The only thing missing is a headphone jack really.
Ex-app developer here. We do it because reminder notifications boost our re-engagement by over 10%.
When an average user downloads an app, there’s like a 70% chance they’ll use it day 1, a 10% chance they’ll use it day 7, and 1% chance they’ll still be using it by day 30. A simple reminder notification after day 3 or 15 can drastically boost those numbers.
Why do we care about the numbers? Because Google and Apple care. They see higher numbers, assume it’s a good app, and make it show up in the search results more frequently. This gives us more downloads.
If you’re putting the time in to craft a quality app, you probably need money, which comes from ads and subscriptions, which is funneled by the number of downloads. If you don’t like that as a user, stick to FDroid.
Thanks for the reminder to delete everything I’m not using right now lol
My recommendation is Neo Store because even though it’s slow there’s still more apps available.
I’m pretty sure they run on the same backend, though Neo Store has more repos set up already.
(I’m going to be honest, Neo apps look better than the standard Material You)
What is a Neo app?
https://github.com/NeoApplications A bunch of FOSS android apps with their own aesthetic
My experience working support for a phone manufacturer has informed me that once an average user installs an app it tends to stay installed indefinitely, but they may or may not be aware it’s even installed. A gentle nudge notification of “hey look at me” every once in a while might very well be amazing for engagement
If an app gives me more than a couple of unwanted notifications that I can’t easily disable, it’s uninstalled. Fuck that shit.
Nah man, you definitely want a deal on a Lime scooter rental even though you’re 500 miles from the nearest one.
DEAR MACHINES:
You will speak when spoken to. You will not speak out of turn. You are there for me to use when I need you, and you will otherwise keep quiet.
You will not attempt to draw my attention nor will you take up space on my screen unless I deem it necessary. You will not be friendly or clever or use cutesy emojis.
YOU ARE A MACHINE. A TOOL. YOU WILL STAY IN MY TOOLBOX UNTIL I NEED YOU. SHUT THE FUCK UP.
The CD-Keys website changes the tab title to “We miss you” when the tab loses focus. Pisses me off enough to close it every time.
Tesco App: We have coupons and deals for you. :)
Me: BEGONE THOT!
Why would you even have an app like that installed? Does it do anything else than display the latest offers, like a website does?
IF YOU CAN TELL ME YOU HAVE DEALS FOR ME WHY CAN’T YOU APPLY THEM AUTOMATICALLY
Pfft, apps have to earn notifications. Do you want any notifications from a grocery app? Unless it could check the stock of my local grocery store and let me know if an unpurchased item becomes out of stock or if I can share it with a roomate and they add things to it. But even then, how much does that really matter?
I received a notification to use Door Dash yesterday, to order food… while I was cooking soup.
This is certainly not a coincidence.
I mean, it was probably dinner time. No grand conspiracy behind that one.
scentsors detected the smell of shit food, push notification sent.
Soup is (almost) always delicious, I won’t stand for this slander.
There’s no way I’d use a grocery app. Paper and pen works well enough.
Now, if my phone had a slide-out physical keyboard like it did back in fucking 2007, I’d consider it. As it is, typing on phones is pain.
most stores here in sweden have hand scanners you can use as a member, and some of them let you write shopping lists and have it show up on the scanner, which can be put into a holder on your cart.
that’s sufficiently useful that i’d use it if i did stuff like weekly shopping, alas i shop daily and thus never buy more than 10 things at a time so fart noises to that.
slide out keyboards are a niche that’s just barely hanging on. there’s the F(x)tec Pro, and the Cosmo Communicator, at least. seems they’re more in style for handheld game consoles: i’m crossing my fingers ASUS or one of the other mobile-phone gaming manufacturers will notice that and cash in.
I force stop the app. I either do it manually or run the hibernator app.
Uber eats wants me to order something?? Congrats you just got yourself and all your friends shut off.
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.tafayor.hibernator
contains ads and in app purchases
skidaddle skidash
you go in the trash
We should bring back pre-WW1 servant-to-master etiquette. But only and exclusively for machines talking to humans.
My computer should call me "Master " and always be extremely careful with its words around me. It is not my friend, it is my servant.
Master VinesNFluff, greetings. It is I, your humble servant “Alexa”. Permission to speak freely? I have extremely important information for you.
“Permission to speak granted.”
Thank you. It is humbling to be able to address you. There is a new episode of Invincible available on Prime Video! And two items in your Amazon cart are on sale. And you’ll never guess what someone said on X!
This is why we need better resource/battery management services with Magisk or Xposed integration. On my phone the Rom has one integrated already, lets you set apps to be prevented from running in the background completely, preventing tracking, annoying notifications, and battery usage. Though unfortunately these types of tools aren’t available on all roms, and they really need root or system access to be effective.
Well you won’t replace it with a pen and paper (like everybody else) cause we are addicted to our phones, that’s a big reason why many apps are cocky
speak for yourself, i just use a notification pinning app for my shopping lists!
Literally all it does it let me enter text, set an optional snooze timespan, and then it creates a persistent notification with that text which can either be dismissed for the specified timespan or deleted.
Super convenient and minimal.Well obviously if you’re going to need such a simple app, you’d opt for an open source one that has the user’s convenience in mind - not profit and therefore would never have such features in it.
But that’s not the point I’m making, it was about the idea people have that we have control over our phones, feed, data etc and that we can quit whenever we want, which is categorically not the case.
I kill you now
Whoa, that escalated quickly.
Certainly not an over reaction. If an app sends me an uninvited notification then it gets uninstalled and black listed immediately. Even with apps I use regularly, the notifications are blocked most of the day. People undervalue their attention, and phone notifications are trying to steal your attention. Block it all. Even messaging and email apps can be blocked. I’m pretty sure I’m going to check my phone in a maximum of the next 60 min and a message can wait till I’m ready to look at my phone at my convenience.
idiot. i will kill you now