My thoughts is that it’s a simple situation really. If they’re harassing or assaulting people, the women will call the cops or something, simple situation and get the guy arrested. If he’s not doing anything, it’s nothing harmful. Apparently that’s not a solid enough answer. What should I have said?
- No1 ( @No1@aussie.zone ) 2•32 minutes ago
What should I have said?
"Wow, sadly I think it means that person has some serious mental issues, and we should get them some help.
Are you feeling okay? Do you want me to call someone for you?"
- HubertManne ( @HubertManne@moist.catsweat.com ) 10•3 hours ago
I don’t get why we have different bathrooms at this point. Its more efficient to just have them all be family bathrooms with floor to ceiling stalls.
- superkret ( @superkret@feddit.org ) 61•7 hours ago
What should I have said?
“You think about strange men’s genitals a lot, don’t you?”
- CanadaPlus ( @CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org ) 4•6 hours ago
Depends how likely an actual productive conversation was. It’s not an invalid question without context. With the typical coconuts, yeah maybe just embarrass them.
- Icalasari ( @Icalasari@fedia.io ) 12•6 hours ago
“Counter question: What stops a creep from doing that even if there was an anti trans law?”
- bane_killgrind ( @bane_killgrind@slrpnk.net ) English25•7 hours ago
Nothing.
Nothing is good enough. Gendered bathrooms are about repression. That’s why they are so mad about non-gendered toilets that are popping up.
- Lettuce eat lettuce ( @Lettuceeatlettuce@lemmy.ml ) 18•6 hours ago
This has always confused me for years since this “debate” became part of public dialog.
Why don’t we just have all non-gender bathrooms? A friend of mine used to live in an apartment building where the common area had 4 non-gendered bathrooms.
Each had a fold-out changing table, a single toilet, and a sink, so everybody was accommodated. Men, women, non-binary, trans folks, a parent with their baby or young child, and disabled people because the door was wide enough for a wheelchair and the toilets had support bars next to them.
Fully inclusive to everybody, and nicer than the typical restrooms because they were totally private.
So all restrooms should be gender free?
- Luke ( @lukecooperatus@lemmy.ml ) English22•7 hours ago
Yes. (Or rather, gender neutral.)
- Mubelotix ( @Mubelotix@jlai.lu ) 3•6 hours ago
It would be cheaper to build actual walls in restrooms than to double their size systematically
- bane_killgrind ( @bane_killgrind@slrpnk.net ) English16•7 hours ago
Yeah. All private ones are already.
I actually prefer men and women separate restrooms because using the urinals is faster than going in to stalls, which reduces the wait time a bit. Then again, if you have two non gendered restrooms, you’ll get double throughput. Also, it would take a while to get adjusted to seeing both genders in the same restrooms, maybe I’m overthinking it, I’ve heard a university near me has non gendered restrooms only and the students are still adjusting to it.
Apologies if I’m rambling.
- bane_killgrind ( @bane_killgrind@slrpnk.net ) English1•15 minutes ago
Nah you are good.
The thing about this is that men are provided more space for essentials in the workplace, and making men stand to piss means less physically abled people have more trouble operating in that workplace.
So outside the gender ick issues there’s equality reasons that gender neutral toilets are a good thing.
- SorteKanin ( @SorteKanin@feddit.dk ) 1•53 minutes ago
I mean, you could have urinals in one room and then gender-neutral toilets in another room. Urinals and gender neutral toilets are not mutually exclusive I think.
Hmm good point. In all the gender neutral restrooms I’ve been in, there’s usually just stalls and no urinals, that’s why I only thought of a stalls only restroom.
- troed ( @troed@fedia.io ) 10•7 hours ago
Yes. A room with a bunch of stalls and sinks.
European type stalls that is, floor to ceiling, real doors.
- RagnarokOnline ( @RagnarokOnline@programming.dev ) 2•7 hours ago
I’ve only been in a couple non-gendered communal bathrooms and it was a little odd, but only because I wasn’t used to it. The actual mechanics of it were basically the same as a normal bathroom. Go into a stall and do your business then come out and wash your mitts.
I don’t have a problem with it being the standard. I guess I wouldn’t think it would be a good idea for high schoolers because they’re always in heat.
- shapesandstuff ( @shapesandstuff@feddit.org ) 5•6 hours ago
Thats the thing right. You dont care whos shitting in the stall next to you. You’re busy shitting.
This is (should be) true for any public bathrooms, no matter the sign on the door.
- metaStatic ( @metaStatic@kbin.earth ) 1•6 hours ago
Gendered bathrooms where a godsend for women.
There was a time women couldn’t travel far from their home bathroom. it was called the lavatory leash.
The current problem is bigots and “communal” toilets (in that order), not gendered toilets.
- bane_killgrind ( @bane_killgrind@slrpnk.net ) English5•6 hours ago
Explain the scare quotes.
- metaStatic ( @metaStatic@kbin.earth ) 1•56 minutes ago
Explain why you’re scared of quotes
- bane_killgrind ( @bane_killgrind@slrpnk.net ) English1•26 minutes ago
Illiterate cunt
- TheOubliette ( @TheOubliette@lemmy.ml ) 5•6 hours ago
The argument made by the person asking that question is not based on any realistic fear they have actually thought through. On the big list of gendered violence, a cis dude saying they are trans to accomplish… being present in a bathroom without themselves getting harrassed… doesn’t even register.
Instead, this is just a typical attempt to punch down based on an imagined danger, usually on someone else’s behalf. There’s nothing an oppressor likes more than a piece of illogic that frames their target of oppression as, sneakily, the real oppressor. In this case, it is trans people wanting bathroom access without having to out themselves or to otherwise just not contradict their gender. Gender neutral bathrooms would also be acceptable, or even better, but cis people have insisted on gendered bathrooms. Rather than say, “yeah trans people shouldn’t have to put up with that cis bathroom bullshit”, reactionaries try to come up with ways to reframe the ask as its own form of oppression. This is also the mainstay of TERFs, basically just cis women that pretend trans women are oppressing them by wanting basic equal consideration.
Depending on who this person is, you may want to try various tactics. If you think you can be flippant and dismissive of them, definitely do that preferentiallu. Make them feel like they are being ridiculous and that if they really care about violence against women they should work on guaranteeing housing for all and hate cops. If you can’t be flippant, I recommend still not taking it seriously but just changing the subject to the actual act of oppression and telling them more or less what I said in previous paragraphs. All of this assumes this us a person whose mind you want to change, like that of a friend or family member. If it is a colleague, start documenting their transphobuc comments and see if anyone else has your concerns, get their documentation as well. If it is just some rando, just tell them to shut the fuck up with bad faith transphobia and move on.
- switchboard_pete ( @switchboard_pete@fedia.io ) 6•7 hours ago
ask them what happens when a guy walks into a women’s restroom and says they’re a trans-man but is lying and isn’t actually trans?
- Che Banana ( @The_Che_Banana@beehaw.org ) 8•7 hours ago
Uhhhhh there are no urinals in the ladies so everyone is in a stall? So???
Does this fella want the ladies to shoot him?
(Using the ladylike Darringer from her pocket book, saying “ah do declare” of course)
- Hydra_Fk ( @Hydra_Fk@reddthat.com ) English2•7 hours ago
The greatest thing in life is those 4 way street uninals.
- Che Banana ( @The_Che_Banana@beehaw.org ) 1•2 hours ago
Well you haven’t lived until you’ve had communal log over an open pit in the woods.
…so manly.
- Hydra_Fk ( @Hydra_Fk@reddthat.com ) English1•23 minutes ago
Lol remember the piss troughs from the 1980s? Gaze into another man’s eyes while you pee into a bathtub!
- howrar ( @howrar@lemmy.ca ) 5•6 hours ago
We’re assuming that you’re talking to someone who’s willing to have a discussion in good faith.
You’d first need to know why that isn’t a sufficiently solid answer. Are they looking for a perfect solution? Because I’m pretty sure there isn’t one. What we want is an improvement over the status quo, and sometimes an overall improvement necessitates a worse experience in certain areas.
- Talaraine ( @Talaraine@fedia.io ) 4•7 hours ago
I’d say the best answer to this conservative is that it’s like open carrying a handgun. Just because someone is carrying a handgun doesn’t make them the bad guy, so you leave them alone.
But if they draw that weapon and threaten someone, you call the cops.
…or another good guy with a gun?
- LalSalaamComrade ( @velox_vulnus@lemmy.ml ) English3•6 hours ago
That’s a false dichotomy. Perverts of any gender and inclination can do harmful stuff anywhere. In an idealistic world, a bathroom shouldn’t have to be gendered, because all that you’re doing is relieving yourself - I mean, look at your own homes first. Putting the gender-neutral stuff aside, this isn’t about trans-women, this is about men who are perverts. Even if things such as cross-dressing, gender-changing surgeries or trans-women were non-existent/erased in a hypothetical world, these perverts will find other ways to violate or harass women.
- molave ( @mo_lave@reddthat.com ) 4•7 hours ago
You’ve said your opinion. The asker asked. They got their answer. End of story.