I’ve had female friends and I’ve had male friends but for some reason I’ve noticed that females are more intimate and close to there friends then males are. Is this true for all male friends?
I find my queer male friends are willing to be intimate while straight male friends are very shut off and rarely open up. Generally. Of course there’s exceptions.
Straight people even today live with the fear of being perceived as gay so there very closed off and distant.
everyone suffers in a global system of torture. even the beneficiaries
Relatable
A system of oppression can only be a system of oppression and nothing else. It can oppress some less than others, but it can’t ever free anyone.
Careful spraying those broad generalizations everywhere, you’re making a mess.
Well here is some perspective: this shit is not just a personal preference, but hardwired into my generation.
I think we relate in different ways. I have had some straight friends who only get emotional with enough alcohol, and others who wear their emotions on their sleeve.
I, personally, have my own shit to deal with and have a strong partner that helps me deal with it- because it’s hardwired into my brain that I cannot do that around other men, but am receptive when they open up around me/my spouse because we are ‘safe’ snd don’t judge.
I can also add that with time, age, and experience your perception will change.
I’m in my thirties and when I compare my friendships to my wife’s, I must say that women are more intimate with each other. They hug and cuddle. My friends and I don’t really do that. I only hug my friends when I feel they need it.
No. Not in my experience anyway. That said, furries are a whole different breed. Furries love sharing physical intimacy. Cuddle piles in the furry community are a real thing.
“furries are a whole different breed.”
I see what you did there
100% intended. But seriously, the furry community is the place where you’ll get guys being just as cuddly as gals, if not moreso, depending on your orientation.
Not true for all but true for most.
However let’s make a difference between being close and being intimate; females are usually more intimate than males or at least open up more quickly on personal topics. Gay/bi males are also like this.
As for closeness though, I don’t think there is much of a difference between sex/gender/sexual orientation. I’ve found bros sticking together and backing up each other the same as girls do if not more.
I think it’s interesting that you are comparing “men” and “girls” as opposed to either boys and girls or men and women.
No judgement. Just thought that was interesting.
They all mean the same thing basically
They’re not the same thing, though. If you use infantilizing language with people of one sex until they’re 40, yeah, people are going to notice that and think it’s weird. I used to have a ton of unexamined behaviors like that before I worked on it a fair amount, and yeah, I was pretty lonely back when…
I don’t think most people care. Granted, maybe it’s the dysphoria speaking, but I love it when someone calls me “girl” and I’m 30. None of the people I know care. If anything it feels more familiar to call someone a girl or a boy than a man or a woman. The latter two feel very “official”, while the former feel casual.
Also I’ve absolutely heard girls call a group of men, “boys”. Like, one of the white suburban mom stereotypes is to call her husband and his friends, “the boys”. Like, “hey honey, how was hanging out with the boys” or “oh, he’s off with the boys doing who knows what”.
Idk, you think this woman’s use of the word “girl” is likely contributing much to her lonliness? I mean that’d probably be true if she was a man because people would automatically assume the worst, but in my experience women can usually get away with saying “girl” without anyone caring.
Well, I hug friends to greet and show compassion. But it doesn’t really change anything, in terms of closeness or intimacy for me. Maybe others feel like that too and don’t really engage in physical intimacy. I do hug female friends in comfort too, but that’s very awkward for me. It seems to help them though.
I feel better when my personal space is respected, I don’t really want hugs when I’m feeling down. I do like hugs when I’m feeling comfortable though.
There are no universal truths about the behavior of “men” and “women” (nor other gender identities)
However, I believe men (at least in the US) are often socialized to more emotionally closed off. Like the only emotion allowed is anger. Other emotions are seen as weak or femme (which are viewed as the same)
I’m (m) somewhat “intimate” with my friends I’ll hug and stuff. But I’ll play it off as a joke half the time depending on who. I was fortunate enough to have made really great friends in high-school that I can be more friendly and am secure enough that if anyone said anything it wouldn’t phase me
Adding on to this, I’m more secure when we’ve had more to drink so a “drunken hug” is more acceptable
I try to be that open with my good dude friends, but I only have a couple I’d consider good. Most are superficial friendships based on a single common interest.
I tell my boys I love them. Kisses on the forehead before we part too.
40 year old male here. My friends and I will hug each other if we feel someone needs a hug.
Just last week I was in a bad mental state and my friend came and picked me up to get get me out the house and meet other friends and then discuss what was up with me and told me to reach out more when feeling down.
There was a ~1.5 year old reddit thread that talked about this