Why is it that compared to other mental illness’s like depression, ADHD, autism and anxiety people seem to be so hostile to NPD? I always see things about ‘mental health awareness’ yet this is never applied to personality disorders.
Just look up “narcissism”, “NPD” or “narcissistic personality disorder” and the results are about how dangerous people with NPD are and how to spot somebody with NPD or if your ex boyfriend is a narcissist etc… etc…
I was watching this video earlier by a YouTube user ‘ShortFatOtaku’ called “Low IQ Twitter Discourse Awards!” and there was this one guy on twitter who said that if you claim advocate for the mentally ill you such do so with personality disorders as well. A statement I completely agree with:
https://youtu.be/3EJedJ8MhNA YouTube
ShortFatOtaku response with “wow your going to let that narcissist kill you and take everything from you?” I shouldn’t have to explain how bad faith and unhinged that is.
Why do people think this way about narcissists? Having NPD doesn’t make someone an inherently bad person. As someone who has NPD I haven’t abused or manipulated anyone ever. Sure, I struggle with empathy, I have to make an effort to think about other people and ok I have a never ending need for validation but that doesn’t mean I’m a bad person I understand I have a problem I didn’t choose to be like this. Manipulation and grandiosity are awful traits that I have but they don’t define me. I’m a good friend, I’m a good sister, I’m a good coworker and there are people out there who benefit from my existence. NPD doesn’t have to define me I’m more then my diagnosis.
- Lime Buzz ( @SweetCitrusBuzz@beehaw.org ) English5•3 hours ago
The Narcissist Scare by Sarah Z — This explains a lot, the term has been wildly misused and thus people don’t really understand what it actually means.
Plus there is a focus on punitive ‘justice’ very much in the systems we live under instead of either trying to understand people and trying to help them either directly or indirectly.
Allegedly, it is a difficult neurodivergence to live with in a healthy, non toxic way. However, I’ve never personally seen that from anyone I know officially diagnosed with it, in fact they are well aware that they have it and are trying to do better, a lot of people are armchair psychologists and love to diagnose with no proof, misattributing it to other things, either trauma or the systems we all live under which causes people to act in terrible ways.
For those who have genuinely been affected by the actions of those who genuinely have it though, I suspect they feel as if they have to see as everybody with it as exactly the same to try to defend themselves. However, in actuallity this likely just makes people worse because not having community or people to point out when you are doing harmful things or getting you help is likely going to make people act out or seek out others who will reinforce their beliefs instead of encouraging them to get help in ways that actually work instead of the vitriolic hating ways most do to them. Though yes, I get that people shouldn’t have to be around those that do them harm but by seeing anyone of any group as all the same it may be doing more harm than good instead of getting to know individuals.
Personally, I think a lot of the systems we live under don’t help with the behaviour of anyone with neurodiverse conditions nor those that need protection from actual toxicity because they are stagnating and do not allow those that need help to get it due to being alienating and often lacking the resources they need to get help.
- Dragon Rider (drag) ( @dragonfucker@lemmy.nz ) English1•4 hours ago
People don’t understand that medicine is about helping the patient. They read the diagnostic criteria for NPD, and they don’t understand that those things are only medically significant if they harm the patient. They think the criteria is a list of bad behaviour that hurts others.
Teach people what medicine is, and the stigma disappears.
- bane_killgrind ( @bane_killgrind@slrpnk.net ) English11•9 hours ago
As someone who has NPD I haven’t abused or manipulated anyone ever.
That you are aware of.
- Dragon Rider (drag) ( @dragonfucker@lemmy.nz ) English1•4 hours ago
You should definitely say the same thing to the next black man you see saying he hasn’t committed any crimes. Watching you find out what happens would be fun.
- Boomkop3 ( @Boomkop3@reddthat.com ) 4•9 hours ago
Some people like and/or need having something to blame. npd just happens to be an easy target.
- sit ( @sit@lemmy.dbzer0.com ) English7•10 hours ago
As others have written it’s deconstructive towards other people plus NPD are hard to make understand their behaviour is problematic. In their view you are the problem if you have a problem with them. Depression, ADHD and other things do not have that trait. With them you can talk them into therapy and about potential problems they are causing.
- UltraGiGaGigantic ( @UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml ) English6•10 hours ago
Self defense
- Wes4Humanity ( @Wes4Humanity@lemm.ee ) 26•15 hours ago
Oof… This is a tough one. First, I’ll point out that this post is EXACTLY what I’d expect from a narcissist. Woe is me, zero accountability. Assuming you’ve actually been diagnosed by a psychiatric Dr, they didn’t diagnosed you with NPD on a whim. You were diagnosed with NPD after you did something, or more likely after a lot of times doing harmful things, and finally taking some initiative to figure out what’s wrong with you. Maybe friends or family had to really push you towards getting help. Maybe your just young enough that seeking mental health help is normalized, so you were able to go for it.
“As someone who has NPD I haven’t abused or manipulated anyone ever.” -As someone with NPD you wouldn’t be able to recognize if you had ever done these things. This entire post is pretty manipulative actually.
NPD is a very tragic illness. One of the worst parts imo is that, almost always, one of the symptoms is the person not being able to truly recognize their own disorder. This can be dangerous, and also infuriating. A person’s entire life can fall apart around them, and they are incapable of doing the self reflection necessary to understand why, let alone do the work to fix the problem. People will spend years trying to “save” a loved one, to get that person to recognize that it’s THEM who is the problem and needs to do the work, just to get to the exact same spot a decade later because that person CAN NOT recognize it. Recognizing there is a problem is the first step towards fixing yourself. Since NPD usually precludes the person from being able to recognize the problem in themselves, it becomes impossible for them to save/fix themselves. It’s truly insidious.
All those things you listed would make you a bad person if you didn’t try to correct them. And maybe you actually are. I certainly hope so.
Edit to add: asking someone with NPD to be able to self reflect and do the work to change, is like asking a paraplegic to run a marathon. It might seem to others that the person is REFUSING, when in reality they literally cannot physically do so. However, unlike the paraplegic person, a person with NPD causes harm to everyone around them, and the only thing a healthy person can do is cut toxic people from their lives. It’s not the person with NPDs fault (one of the other great tragedies is that it is almost always a result of shit parents) that they are toxic, but they are toxic none the less, and unable to stop it. I’m sorry you ended up this way, I truly hope you can let yourself be treated.
- TʜᴇʀᴀᴘʏGⒶʀʏ ( @TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone ) 7•11 hours ago
As someone with NPD you wouldn’t be able to recognize if you had ever done these things.
Since NPD usually precludes the person from being able to recognize the problem in themselves, it becomes impossible for them to save/fix themselves.
Asking someone with NPD to be able to self reflect and do the work to change, is like asking a paraplegic to run a marathon… they literally cannot physically do so.
This isn’t true. What are you even basing this on?
- Dragon Rider (drag) ( @dragonfucker@lemmy.nz ) English1•4 hours ago
Hatred and stereotypes from TV.
- deadbeef79000 ( @deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz ) 12•16 hours ago
It’s stigmatised because the term has entered common (mis)usage to describe people who are just selfish
Kinda like how “schizophrenia” is used to describe anyone who’s a bit weird or how “autistic” is used to describe someone with a interest in something.
- 1ns1p1d ( @1ns1p1d@lemm.ee ) English5•8 hours ago
I don’t think that’s WHY it’s stigmatised. It had to be stigmatized before that to be applied to selfish people.
It’s a disorder that is harmful to others and difficult to understand. For others to cope with it requires navigating a complex network of negative behaviors. Manipulation and lack of empathy are the traits of a psychopath, and none of us want that.
The OP lacks empathy but evidentally desires it from others. If you understand why you need empathy, then you understand why lack of empathy is stigmatised.
- deadbeef79000 ( @deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz ) 2•9 hours ago
It had to be stigmatized before that to be applied to selfish people.
Good point. I suspect it was a plot point in Medical Drama #17 or Police Drama #12, thus was thoroughly misrepresented.
- Dragon Rider (drag) ( @dragonfucker@lemmy.nz ) English1•4 hours ago
Actually, it entered pop culture with Christopher Lasch’s book The Culture Of Narcissism
- JackGreenEarth ( @JackGreenEarth@lemm.ee ) English5•16 hours ago
Same with adults who have a sexual attraction to children. They didn’t choose to be like that, and if they make sure to not act on those impulses, they shouldn’t be demonized. Conversion therapy has been demonstrated not to work, but if there’s any way they can receive help with their impulses rather than condemnation and vitriol, that seems it would be more helpful.
- deadbeef79000 ( @deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz ) 2•16 hours ago
How do you cope with NPD?
Also, what kind of things can other people do to support someone with NPD?