Eat the crust, leave the rest.
Spiral sliced and slurped as one giant noodle.
i gotta try that
slapping your face into the middle of the pie and sucking like a dyson
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By licking off the topping and sauce. The base gets reused for new pizza.
Turned into a slurry and then administered as an enema.
Pizza Slurry Enema
nice band name
rolling it up starting from the crust like it was a croissant and then taking a bite, not from the end, but from the side
OR
not cut into slices, you tear out the center and slip your head through so it sits around your collar, then lift it to take bites periodically like a candy necklace
Gonna need somewhat of a custom pizza shape for this to work without arousing suspicion. Put the pizza between the toilet rim and the seat. If it sags a bit that’s fine, the seat should hold it in place. Print out a picture of the inside of the toilet bowl and place it on top of the pizza. Close the lid.
After a few days, invite the crew over for beers. Rig the bathroom light so that it’s very dim. “Sorry, been having issues with it, not sure what the problem is.” Eventually someone is going to notice the ruse. When they do, “Oh shit, my pizza! I was wondering where that went.” Bring it back into the kitchen and offer everyone a slice. They will refuse. “More for me then!” Eat the whole thing.
Instant legend.
take a bit from the outer perimeter, rotate the zza slightly, then take another bite. repeat until you’ve spiral-noshed the whole thing
OP asked what’s the most incorrect way to eat a pizza. That’s the canonical method, authentic from Italy
No - in Italy you eat pizza with a knife and fork.
Putting pineapple on it
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In a blender
knife + fork + stacked slices, as Donald Trump was called out for on The Daily Show 17 years ago
Fold it in half (sauce outl, then eat it from the middle out
Or with a fork and knife
Like a watermelon 💜
Almost like a calzone?
Inverted calzone
yeah fork and a knife…how dare to be civilized?!? murican go slurp this down with 1.5gallons of mountain dew and shower in gravey on your highway stop breakfast. disgusting pigs.
You take it out of the oven, cut a slice as fast as you can and immediately bite down on it, holding it in your mouth until the cheese has completely fused with the roof of your mouth.
There is no worst, most incorrect way to eat a pizza. The way someone eats something is irrelevant. There is no good or bad here.
The worst way to eat a pizza is to not eat a pizza. So uh, maybe taking many pizzas, making a bath out of them and expecting to take in the nutrients through your skin?
That’d be the only answer I’d accept 😆
Not eating the pizza is indeed incorrect when the goal is to eat the pizza.
Consider: floating in a bowl of milk like cereal. It’s one big piece but you still have to use a spoon.
When we used to order pizza in middle school, kids would fold the slices one on top of the other and eat them like a big sandwich. That was the most popular way to avoid questions about whether they would share it with others. Not to mention, most people snuck to the toilet for feasting.
Like regular pizza, but you use orange juice as a nice dipping sauce for it
