• Clent ( Clent@lemmy.dbzer0.com ) English
    10·
    1 year ago

    Hey now, it only took me 18 months to install the replacement screen roller on my front storm door, after waiting about as long to purchase it.

    One day you too will complete something on your list and think, why the fuck didn’t I do that months ago and then proceed to repeat the procrastination process on the ever other 30 minute task.

  • fedditter ( fedditter@feddit.org ) English
    8·
    1 year ago

    Why is Lemmy so depressed? Guys, I’ve been there, but a mental change is ahead. And I know you hate me for saying this, or think I’m cringe or whatever. Just find the thing that really drives you.

    No idea what that could be? Little pro tip: your anxiety can guide you. What scares you most? Talking in front of a group? Go join a theater club or something. You’ll probably find cool people.

    • Madzielle ( Madzielle@lemmy.dbzer0.com ) English
      7·
      1 year ago

      My anxiety guides me.

      Today I get to bask after three days of deep cleaning my home! It is a good day today!

      Though, getting a new dishwasher installed is what sparked it, anxiety drives me to get my stuff done. Why waiting until last minute sometimes can produce my best work (yet sometimes can cause disaster still).

      I also pushed myself onto a leadership position at my work once. A two year commitment. I had to do a lot of public speaking, I absolutely hated it, and cursed myself for doing it to myself, but it was to bring me out of my comfort zone and I knew the payoff was to help and be a voice for my fellow employees I represented. It was tough.

      Hell yeah, for me, using my anxiety as a driver for change has been massively helpful in my life. Face it- then its faced, I still have the anxiety but I understand it and can objectively react to it in a positive way. Introspection is a hell of a thing.

    • [deleted] ( snooggums@piefed.world ) English
      7·
      1 year ago

      Mostly because having a disorder that is a daily reminder of how much work it is just to function on a day to day basis and apparently remembering the fuck ups way more than the good things since the fuck ups are basically the same thing each time. It feels worse and worse each year, and honestly my biggest fear is that I will get dementia and not be able to tell because it that is how I have felt my entire life.

      That said, reminding myself that I’m doing pretty well is the counterbalance that keeps me going. I’ve accepted my limits and just roll along with becoming a jack of all trades that still has to relearn anything I haven’t done for a few years. Meds help while they are active, but they don’t work 24 hours a day.

      • AnarchistArtificer ( AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net ) English
        2·
        1 year ago

        “I’ve accepted my limits and just roll along with becoming a jack of all trades that still has to relearn anything I haven’t done for a few years.”

        This is tremendously relatable, and captures one of the things that I genuinely feel proud of. There are days where I’m like the person in the OP, but the more I practice at understanding and leaning into my nature, the easier it becomes to break out of that wistful cycle of internalised ableism

    • orbitz ( orbitz@lemmy.ca ) English
      4·
      1 year ago

      It definitely pushes me in the right direction. Though yes sometimes it takes a bit more, mental fortitude that is not meds. Takes a bit from both sides.

    • AnarchistArtificer ( AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net ) English
      3·
      1 year ago

      If you’re lucky, you win the wisdom to understand that no amount of wishful thinking can brute force yourself into being a different person, and you understand that this cycle is borne of internalised ableism.

      You win the chance to try again tomorrow — not at being the productivity powerhouse you desperately wish you were, but at being someone who works hard to be kind to themselves — someone who reluctantly embraces the messiness of human existence and tries to find opportunities to work with their ADHD, rather than against it.

      It’s a bittersweet prize, because it just boils down to “more work”. However, it’s work that has a chance to build personal fulfillment, instead of stuff that seems engineered to make you resent yourself.

      • WorldsDumbestMan ( WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today ) English
        2·
        1 year ago

        What if co-workers threaten to do NSFW things to me if I don’t fall in line, and my mother who I live in is in 4 pays worth of debt? And my brother is violent, and wants a gaming PC at any cost? And oh, can’t really handle too many people without a panic attack nowadays, yet my Father has an idea to force me to buy an icecream machine and work at a fare as a side-job.

        So yeah, it’s like you better break the laws of biology, or you will be discarded like trash here.

        Edit: pays, not days.

        • AnarchistArtificer ( AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net ) English
          2·
          1 year ago

          I’m sorry to have taken so long to reply to this; I wanted to be able to say something useful, or reassuring at least, but I know that nothing I can say can change the shitty reality you’re facing. I resonate a lot with what you describe, because whilst the specifics of my circumstances were quite different to yours, my home life was also pretty fucked up.

          For me, university was my escape, and it was only once I was out of there that I was able to reflect on just how harmful that environment was for me.hen I was sitting in my room at uni, I’d sometimes find myself overwhelmed with anxiety for no apparent reason. I realised that this anxiety was because whilst my room at my family home was my safe space, I had also learned that I would never be allowed that kind of safety, and that I needed to be prepared for a family member to barge in at any moment and be awful to me. At university, I also learned that I was awful at understanding and communicating my own boundaries, and had to learn those skills practically from scratch (no point communicating boundaries if abusive family will just use that to hurt you more).

          I actually ended up dropping out of university due to non-ADHD related health problems, but I don’t regret going one bit, even if I do have a bunch of student debt and no degree to show for it. I don’t know how I’d have been able to escape that environment without going to university, and I know I wouldn’t have been able to survive that environment.

          When you’re stuck in abusive or toxic situations, people will sometimes say ‘you need to get out of there’, which I always found frustrating. They’re not wrong, but just because a solution is simple doesn’t mean it’s easy. Even once I was out of there, I was envious of my peers, who were able to rely on their family for financial and emotional support while studying, as well as not having to worry about finding accommodation during the vacation. Even once you’re out, it takes time to unlearn the various maladaptive coping measures that one develops to protect oneself from constant stress.

          Healing is possible though, even if it feels unfathomable when you’re in an environment that precludes that right now. I’m sorry that you have to face this. It isn’t right or fair. I’m sorry that you have no choice but to endure this for now. I hope that you are able to hang in there long enough to get out and to start building the kind of life you deserve. In the meantime, try to be kind to yourself[1] . You’re not broken, you’re just struggling under impossible circumstances, and merely surviving is a pretty incredible feat, all things considered. I know I’m just a random person on the internet who knows next to nothing about your life, but I’m proud of you for striving for a better life.

          [1]: (I also realise that “be kind to yourself” is yet another piece of advice that’s simple, but far from easy)

          1. 1 ↩︎