How can you actively prevent it from getting worse—like starting now/today?
Justifying staying alive to myself.
Not saying I’m suicidal, but I’m increasingly losing my enthusiasm for living compared to when I was a kid. Used to have all these aspirations for my life and how I’d make a difference, now I’ve just accepted apathetically going through the motions until I die.
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I don’t have a justification I just am
Not my story but I want to share - in the US - the girl I’ve been dating for several months recently told me she has been receiving SNAP and Medicade for her disabled daughter. She left an abusive relationship several years ago and has been struggling to keep it together. This month, without SNAP, she asked me for money. I sent her what she needed and I’m sure things will be fine. For her, this is a disaster. She’s emotionally tapped out and feels like she is failing her daughter. They’re going to food pantries but so is every other working poor person right now. She works doing Amazon deliveries which fits with her daughters therapy schedule and allows her to work when able. Ex is out of the picture and does not help, deadbeat stuff.
I just put this out there for some perspective. Many folks are going through hell right now. I wish I had a better solution for her, or for others suffering. I feel so powerless to make any meaningful change in the world. I care for her a lot but I have no idea what to say.
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I guess that sounded way funnier in your own head.
I find myself becoming less and less interested in staying in the industry I’m currently working in for the rest of my life. Problem is, I don’t have any other qualifications. So I guess it could start working on acquiring new ones while I’m still young enough to do so, but I’d need both a clear idea on what other career I want to pursue and the motivation to leave my currently pretty comfortable position in life. I have neither.
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A lot of people I know are struggling and I don’t know how to help them.
They have vaguely asked me for help but they all have difficult problems that I can’t do a whole lot about. I know its not necessarily my responsibility to fix things for them but I tend to have a ‘fix things’ mentality and I get stuck thinking about what I can possibly even do.
Its difficult. Society and community are so fragmented now. People don’t want to ask for help. People don’t want to give unsolicited help.
I’ve got skills and support I can offer. I’m not even asking others for anything. People don’t even want to take the offer to give unconditionally. I’ll give you a lift…they don’t want it. I can help fix things in your house …they don’t want it. Feel free to borrow my tools…they don’t want it. I can look after your kids for a few hours and give you a break, my kids would love to play with them at our house…they understandably feel anxious about that. No problem, come over yourself with your kids on the weekend, we’ll make you lunch, get to know us…they don’t want it. You’re starting in the same career field that I’ve progressed in, I’ve got resources that will help…they don’t want it. I’ll share my Jellyfin server…they don’t want it.
I don’t get it. I just want to connect with people and help them…they don’t want it.
It’s really hard to accept help sometimes.
Our family went through the ringer the first half of this year and we had an outpouring of people offering support and help. It’s not that I didn’t need it, I just didn’t think I needed it at the time. Looking back on even 6 months ago, I was pretty dumb for not delegating some things that would have taken a lot off my plate that I didn’t need to deal with at all.
If you’re in a new place around new people, one way I’ve found that works sometimes is just asking someone for help with something really trivial, but not something that could easily be done yourself. Something that could just use another set of hands. It’s kind of an ice breaker and the other person might feel more inclined to be able to ask for some help next time.
Anyway, you seem like good people, I wish you were my neighbor. Don’t let people stop you from continuing to be a good person.
My life is pretty much in limbo right now. I can’t get a job because I don’t have a bank account and I can’t get a bank account because I don’t have an ID and I can’t get an ID because my parents wont get me one. I’ve been asking for a bank account ever since I graduated high school back in 2016 but they just keep telling me “We’ll get you one eventually, we just don’t have time right now” despite the fact that they sit around playing video games all day. What frustrates me even more, is that they let my sister get a bank account and a part time job back when she was still in high school.
Yikes, that’s a long time to be stuck in what sounds like an abusive family dynamic. I’m so sorry.
I’m guessing you’ve looked into any possible alternative routes to an ID?
I have not looked into that, if there are other ways of getting an ID that are legal, I might try them.
Yeah, you should. What country are you in?
I live in the US. I actually checked online for what my state requires to get an ID and I don’t think it’s possible for me to do without my parents. The only things I have access to are my SSN and possibly my birth certificate but I would need to provide several additional documents that I either don’t have access to or have no idea how to provide them. It also seems like there isn’t a way to get one online unless you’ve previously gotten one, which I obviously haven’t.
In the US, there’s Adult Protective Services that might be able to help you.
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I discovered this week that i might have been depressed for 7 years, dunno how i didnt notice, i just thought i was lazy as hell
When I got diagnosed it took a while to come to terms with it because I’ve always felt this way. It’s strange having all the happiness I can remember occurring simultaneously as being clinically suicidal. Almost feels more hopeless after being diagnosed because turns out I’m just like this and that’s how it’s gonna be going forward.
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Life. Seems impossible to improve so I’m content with working towards not making it worse. I’m not very successful so far.
Good stuff, what has been some help?
Disregarding other humans in general, with some exceptions.
The best not worst thing one can do is remove a negative stimulus
Somebody important is mean to me and I don’t know why. Nobody seems to know why in that person’s entourage.
People are optional. All people are optional. Some with believe they are owed a place in your life for one reason or another. Remind them how wrong they are by going no contact or repeatly sending the same messege that you are no longer replying to them. How long or short that reminder is, is up to you.
Perhaps their behavior will change after this reminder, but I wouldn’t hold my breath. People suck.
Mean in the “went no contact (and mean when we do have to have contact for one reason or another) overnight, for seamingly no reason and don’t want to tell me or anyone else what’s wrong” way. Actually they promised me that they were going to tell me what their issue was, but they never did. It is the second time something (exactly) like this happened with this person and the first time they made the same promise, and did only tell me after an important event that can not be reproduced this time.
Talk to them directly.
A rational person might talk it through. A mean person will turn up the mean. 0/10, cannot recommend
Understood
Yes.
Won’t work sadly. It already happened before, got solved by a true miracle (I don’t want to share here what happened, but it was the most impressive “right time, right place and right people” thing I’ve ever heard of). And I wanted to talk (still want to talk btw) but they don’t.
Last time I saw their “normal” self they really appreciated me but that seemed to have changed overnight (literally).
I am sad, poor, and stupid. i’m going to college and working an internship that pays halfway decent to fix the latter two. And for the first, well, its just like Meatloaf said: “Don’t be sad, 'cause two out of three aint bad.”
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I have low self-esteem and that’s from just people been shitty to me. I could go on but I don’t want to trauma dump (at least, try to prevent myself from doing it).
That being said, I’m planning to get therapy, go to more social events if I have the energy to do so and maybe next year, try get back to swimming. I stopped around when I was in lockdown in 2020 and I forgot about it since.
Housing
Big problem: I’ve spent too much time trying to install Seafile in my environment.
Prevent it from getting worse: Maybe just use Filebrowser?
Existential dread in a cubicle before 30. Just gotta learn to thrive in boredom or find another job.
