Well, yeah. They don’t really go anywhere and they don’t have anything to say.
I just rewatched the prequels. Sure, they can be criticized but they do tell a rather cohesive story about a dying democracy’s inability to deal with emergent totalitarianism, while also exploring Anakin Skywalker as a character.
The new trilogy starts with ideas that might be interesting to investigate but then completely fails to do so.
The dialogue is the problem with the Prequels. It looks good, the stories track and all nearly fit into the wider Star Wars universe, it’s just that George Lucas has no idea how actual humans communicate. There was also an absolute tsunami of 3rd party content around the Prequels from comics, video games, YA novels, TV shows, and toys that cemented the Prequels into the cultural Zeitgeist that Disney was completely unable to replicate.
7: Mystery box/A New Hope again
8: Controversial character assassination but honestly the only one with any real value cinematically
9: Cowardly trash with no payoff for the mystery boxes that also discarded every point of value from 8
I wonder why. Fuckers couldn’t even figure out they should have made the Knights of Ren matter as villains.
…or any villain besides Temu Darth Vader and (sigh) The Emperor II, zombie boogaloo
I understand the thematic purpose of Kylo, he’s supposed to be the edgy wannabe Nazi, it’s a commentary and so on and so forth.
Probably shouldn’t have used your female lead as a sexual reward for the redemption arc of the Neonazi incel though. Bro literally negged her and abused her…
Kind of makes you think any female empowerment message spread by Disney is a mere marketing decision or something.
Temu Darth Vader
😂 It’s true.
I got as far as them using their hyperspace to launch a small ship and destroy the bigger ship, like why don’t they just make a ton of dummy ships and blow everything up that way, would have taken out the death star so easily.
It was cool to see but right after that’s all I could think about, like why even bother building a death star, just hyper launch things all over the place
a ton of dummy ships
We usually call those missiles. :P
You’ve reminded me of a bit of flavor text from Starsector that I particularly like, from the missile specialization skill:
My colleagues don’t appreciate their whimsy. You get all these little spaceships and you break all the rules 'cause they don’t need to survive landing.
Honestly 8 has no value cinematically either. It is just as much a mystery box that “could” go somewhere as 7. It has nothing interesting to say or deconstruct about Star Wars, it’s just “what if all of that was bullshit?” What do you mean what if? My brother in Christ, you are writing the movie, you are supposed to tell or imply that in the story. The character assassination is just an extention of that. “What if this character acted completely different now?” Ok let’s pretend I’m fine with that. Why? What are you trying to say with that? What happens as a result of the change? Oh, no reason, nothing, and nothing? K then. KOTOR 2 was leaps and bounds better at deconstructing Star Wars, and it was notoriously unfinished. It’s not a high bar, and Star Wars IS bullshit in some ways, as much as I like some of them. So it would have been cool if Johnson gave a shit.
Yoda’s line about Masters is the only thing that stuck with me in the whole Trilogy though, so I guess you are technically correct. But it’s like 1% value vs 0% value.
IMO they should pretend they never made those 3 steamers and try again. Full retcon.
Give me more movies about trade disputes!
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This was recently posted in the science fiction instance and i will post the same thing I posted there.
The first two-thirds or so of The Force Awakens was pretty good. All after was utter dogshit.
I agree. It hook you in the beginning, then tosses ideas around… and nothing happens
I will always remember the line that stopped 7 in it’s tracks. Them deciding their plan of attack on Starkiller.
What about the shields?
We’ll disable the shields.
Oh. Okay. Thanks han that sounds like a super duper plan. Yes, master smuggler and their in sure infiltrating the first order’s most top secret facility that’s brand new in every way will have a button that says disable shields. What a lazy line.
Compare that to “many bothans died bringing us these plans”. You know, actual stakes.
I’m perfectly happy to watch the first two as a duology. The Last Jedi is my second favourite Star Wars movie, after RotJ. But Rise of Skywalker is dead last, insanely bad for the amount of money behind it. Hard to imagine anyone looked at that and thought it was ready to be released.
Edit: for some reason I wrote “RotJ” above, when I meant to write ESB. Obviously.
Life is too short to rewatch garbage films
