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Zizzy ( Zizzy@lemmy.blahaj.zone )  to 196@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish · il y a 22 jours

Rulejected

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Rulejected

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Zizzy ( Zizzy@lemmy.blahaj.zone )  to 196@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish · il y a 22 jours
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  • Section Ratio General ( Ratio_Tile@lemmy.blahaj.zone ) 
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    il y a 22 jours

    No, the worst thing they can say is “EW!” which happened to me once.

    • riwo ( riwo@lemmy.blahaj.zone ) 
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      il y a 21 jours

      they could even get angry and violent

      • Section Ratio General ( Ratio_Tile@lemmy.blahaj.zone ) 
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        il y a 21 jours

        This is the true worst answer

    • jupiter_jazz ( jupiter_jazz@lemmy.dbzer0.com ) 
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      il y a 21 jours

      Man I came in thinking about applying for jobs, that would be devastating

  • Rhaedas ( Rhaedas@fedia.io ) 
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    il y a 22 jours

    If they say no they were probably always going to say no, and you were wasting your mental energy picturing a fantasy where they might say yes. What if your waiting to ask means that they wanted to ask you, but thought YOU might say no so they are in the same loop. Or they hadn’t considered it at all, but would say yes if you ask. No one likes uncertainty, so remove it.

    Them saying no means you can move to the next potential. The worst thing we do is create simulations in our head of a perfect match, when in reality there’s lots of very good matches out there, possibly better matched in some ways than the one you’re obsessed with.

    • n0xy (it/its) ( N0tTr0xy@lemmy.dbzer0.com ) 
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      il y a 22 jours

      No one likes uncertainty, so remove it.

      Chops off testicles

    • yetAnotherUser ( yetAnotherUser@discuss.tchncs.de ) 
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      il y a 22 jours

      No one likes uncertainty

      I’d say most people love uncertainty.

      It’s why a whole lot of people do not go to the doctor when they have some ailment because uncertainty is preferred over negative outlooks.

      It’s why many people avoid looking at the news despite knowing what’s being said will affect them sooner or later.

      It’s why neither partner wants to confront the reality the relationship is failing, instead choosing to go on as usual until it crashes and burns.

      And it’s why people don’t ask others out, as keeping the illusion you had a chance is preferred over knowing you never even had one. Ignorance is bliss after all.

      • Rhaedas ( Rhaedas@fedia.io ) 
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        il y a 22 jours

        I don’t think that’s loving uncertainty as much as it’s the easier route to take.

        • yetAnotherUser ( yetAnotherUser@discuss.tchncs.de ) 
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          il y a 21 jours

          But if the easier route results in more uncertainty than the difficult route, and people keep choosing it, people are at the very least preferring uncertainty over difficulty, aren’t they?

          • Rhaedas ( Rhaedas@fedia.io ) 
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            il y a 21 jours

            That much is true, sure. People don’t usually like to stray far from the familiar, and if that means continuing to fantasize vs. taking the plunge and seeing what happens, that’s what they’ll do. Or with the rest of your examples, stick with what they’ve done in the past, even though they know where it leads, because doing different means the unknown.

            And I’m preaching while not always practicing myself, it’s human nature to feel comfortable. But I have found that most of the time if I force myself to get past the worry and fear and just do the thing, it tends to work out fine and not be as bad as I thought it would be.

    • Ertain ( Ertain@feddit.online ) 
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      il y a 21 jours

      This is a good post.

    • gandalf_die_12te ( gandalf_der_12te@lemmy.blahaj.zone ) 
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      il y a 21 jours

      orr they just wanted to flirt with you but have no actual interest in a relationship … and if they do a relationship, it’s one of those that sucks ass where you “have to do things” all the time (go out and do dangerous adventures) instead of just staying home and cuddling … bonus points if she thinks that cuddling is lewd and therefore should be illegal.

  • iocase ( iocase@lemmy.zip ) 
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    The second best thing they can say is no

    The worst thing they can say is “HELP! SOMEONE HELP! CALL THE POLICE!” While filming you and posting it on social media to their 150 000 followers. Thats the worst thing they can say.

  • Uriel238 [all pronouns] ( uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone ) 
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    il y a 21 jours

    My own psychological trick is to commt to get the “no.” I decide I’m going to rule out yes. So if they tell me no, then I’ve succeeded.

    I still feel dejected, but it works in getting me to ask.

    • 🐝bownage [they/he] ( bownage@beehaw.org ) 
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      il y a 21 jours

      That’s a lot of gymnastics

  • Stolas ( Stolas@lemmy.ca ) 
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    il y a 21 jours

    Hence why I’m often of the habit of waiting until I feel comfortable and safe with the person before it gets to that point.

    Granted, out of all the people I’ve been with, I have only ever asked one of them out. I’m aware that I have frustrated some people by not asking, but I was never at that point and if it was that important to them then they should have asked instead.

  • maria ~ ( Smorty@lemmy.blahaj.zone ) 
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    il y a 22 jours

    she said no and it was fine.

  • YiddishMcSquidish ( YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today ) 
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    il y a 21 jours

    They could laugh

  • dustycups ( prex@aussie.zone ) 
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    il y a 22 jours

    The transplant waiting list is feeling this post.

  • for_some_delta ( for_some_delta@beehaw.org ) 
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    il y a 21 jours

    Yes is the worst since it requires a transition in state. Remaining at rest is often easier.

  • MoonRaven ( MoonRaven@feddit.nl ) 
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    il y a 22 jours

    Me.

  • nek0d3r ( nek0d3r@midwest.social ) 
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    il y a 21 jours

    Worst they can say is ew, and that’s terrifying

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