And that’s a pretty big hatchback.

  • ShellMonkey ( ShellMonkey@piefed.socdojo.com ) 
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    10 days ago

    Favorite one I had was an 85 Silverado which was basically a bench seat with a bed attached.

    Had to bring my current vehicle to get patched up and they loaned me some monstrosity that I as a 6’+ dude needed to use the steps and handles to get into and wouldn’t fit in the garage with half the cargo space of that 85.

    Anyone claiming necessity for those things is clearly over-compensating.

  • supersquirrel ( supersquirrel@lemmy.ca ) 
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    10 days ago

    Why don’t we all start keying these things? They are murder machines designed to kill children or frail people in a low speed pedestrian collision with their high hoods, if people want that luxury I should be able to key their truck.

    Everybody thinks a high front hood looks cool, the reason the rest of us don’t buy vehicles like this is because we are adults and don’t make stupid decisions that will end up with children dying simply because of our aesthetic desires and need to perform our gender.

    • setVeryLoud(true); ( isVeryLoud@lemmy.ca ) OP
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      10 days ago

      I like your line of thinking. Work truck should look like a work truck. Worn.

      The driver probably wouldn’t even be able to see my K4 in traffic to the right of him, let alone a bicycle, or 18 children sitting in a row in front of the hood.

      I very specifically got a hatchback / wagon because I wanted cargo space and pedestrian safety. Not that I intend to hit pedestrians, but we also don’t have airbags with the intention to get into a collision.

      Also, the designer of the Dodge Ram, the truck that arguably started this trend, stated that he wanted the truck to look like a fist moving through the air. Uh, yup, that is indeed what that is, a weapon.

    • invertedspear ( invertedspear@lemmy.zip ) 
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      10 days ago

      Dude, some of us need trucks, like actually hauling loads around several times a week, and it fucking sucks that there isn’t any choice in the design currently. Don’t key some poor souls car who’s just trying to make do with what’s available. Slate and Telo might actually save us here. I really can’t wait to “downgrade” to a Telo. I just hope they actually make it to market and succeed.

        • invertedspear ( invertedspear@lemmy.zip ) 
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          10 days ago

          We’ll see how many of us put our money where our mouth is when actual smaller options hit the market. Both Slate and Telo are about to actually start delivery, maybe. Won’t believe it till I see it.

          • supersquirrel ( supersquirrel@lemmy.ca ) 
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            10 days ago

            Sure and honestly there are obviously reasons for a large pickup especially because the market is dumb as hell but also…

            1. The high hood is murderous and pointless from a utility perspective, which is fundamentally contradictory to the concept of the vehicle as a utility focused vehicle.

            2. The crash ratings for the back seats in many older pickups are not safe for kids, there is a reason SUVs have a longer passenger compartment size…

            3. These vehicles put everyone in danger around them, including the passengers because even with the miracles of modern brake technology they can’t stop fast on slippery conditions and they cannot swerve at high speed without going out of control or rolling over leaving your only option to smash into thing and hope you kill it more than it kills you… my point is even when these vehicles have a function they still involve an individual placing everyone around them in danger through their use.

            Compare an american pickup hood to the hood of this utility van, the hood of this van still has to go up very quickly to eventually reach the roof line but even still you can see it was thoughtfully designed to maximize visibility while also making the most likely pedestrian collision one where the person is hit lowdown and falls onto the hood rather than under the vehicle.

            This one is better, of course the “problem” is that it doesn’t look like a RAM because… it was designed purposefully to be a BAD battering ram???

            Even still that hood shape still doesn’t gurantee a pedestrian strike couldn’t happen higher up on the head or upper chest. This is the entire reason for the sedan like pronounced nose in the first place right??!?

            All pickup truck designers did was look at that and think “yeah but that looks lame, we need to raise the hood more” until they made another vertical wall that the driver now can’t see over… it is so dumb it makes my head hurt.

            https://alexandriainjuryattorney.com/blog/pick-up-truck-blind-spots/

            This article about blindspots is a good visual example of the problem in that they are both expressions of the same fundamental geometric stupidity of american pickup truck hoods, the same reason the make it easy to run over kids by accident makes them more likely to kill them on contact in an accident that might otherwise have been totally survivable. It is pretty hard to lethally impact someone in their lower body, it is frighteningly easy to lethally impact someone in the head or their upper chest.

      • birdwing ( birdwing@lemmy.blahaj.zone ) 
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        10 days ago

        several times a week

        Bold claim, most do it only a few times a year, at which point it’s easier to rent one of those things to attach. And for parking, a smaller one would be easier if you did it often. But that’s my view…

        there isn’t any choice

        There is. Have you heard of kei trucks and lorries? (They’re not mini, just normally sized, unlike the two brands you mentioned). Pretty practical; their “bed” is the same size, and they actually are made to transport that stuff.

        If you prefer a different car look, an estate car or one of those coupé utilities like the Volkswagen Caddy might work.

        For frequent large work burdens, a van is much better and actually keeps the wares dry. Or, let it be delivered by a transport company if you’re ordering.

        also

        don’t key some poor soul’s car

        Those genital compensation vehicles (or copecars for short) cost like $80,000 up to $400,000(!). They’re a colossal waste of time, space, and money.

        If you want something that actually saves you and makes you stronger while using, just go buy a proper bicycle and if you need something transported that people can’t do on bikes, then use a van or lorry as I mentioned.

    • seathru ( seathru@quokk.au ) 
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      10 days ago

      Why don’t we all start keying these things? They are murder machines

      Because (at least in the US) their owners are also murder machines. So you’d have to be pretty committed to your cause.

  • melsaskca ( melsaskca@lemmy.ca ) 
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    9 days ago

    If these behemoths stuck to the farm or construction sites then maybe a bit less mayhem and accidental deaths but I find most buy them for their ego and grocery shopping.

  • rethnor ( rethnor@lemmy.zip ) 
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    9 days ago

    What’s a fuck truck? Seriously, this title is confusing.

    It’s it saying this fuck truck is awesome? Or is there a rule that says all trucks suck? Or is like fuck, trucks rule?