Neurodivergent folk are told in thousands of ways, small and large, that we are both too much and not enough at the same time. It is crazy making.
These are opinions and not very good ones.
The vast majority of the things that we are criticized for are not actually requirements. We are mostly criticized for things that are the optional extras that makes the critical person feel comfortable. If it is not their job to make you comfortable, then it is not your job to make them comfortable.
All that we have to do in life is to be Perfectly Fine Human Beings.
A Perfectly Fine Human Being:
~ Keeps themselves and their environment clean enough not to negatively impact someone else’s health.
~ Obeys the civil law. Read it for yourself.
~ Does not purposely aggravate others. That is just self-preservation.
~ Does their share and only their share. Get that spelled out in the beginning and preferably in writing.
~ Honors any contract freely entered into. If it isn’t in the contract you are not responsible. Read the contract.
~ Keeps themselves to themselves. Peopling is optional, but if you choose to people you have implicitly agreed to play by their rules.
~ Quietly walks away from people and situations that they find unhelpful or unhealthy.
This is all it Takes to be a Perfectly Fine Human Being just as you are. Every thing beyond this is extra and completely optional.
I’ve been at this neurodivergent thing for 51 years (diagnosed as dyslexic in 1972 and autistic in 2021) and have cultivated a wonderful group of fellow neurodivergent folks. The one thing that makes the single biggest improvement in our lives is learning to love our quirks. Fly, be free to be your quirky, adorkable selves. Being adorkable is adorable.
Thank you for sharing!
One thing I personally struggle with is accepting things I cannot change, and learning to let go of control. I think we can all use a reminder that sometimes it’s okay to just be.
Does not purposely aggravate others.
I listened to a podcast a while back, where the host was talking about mindfulness, and how much of the time, if we get angry with someone, it’s because they’ve broken a rule that we have developed internally. I think about this all the time, and try really hard to act on it, which ties into the part of your post that I quoted.
If someone does something aggravating, I try really hard to wind myself in, and consider that what they’ve actually done is broken a rule that I personally have, and that they may not have the same set of values.