hello Beehaw, it’s a sleepy morning–and i did not get very much sleep. luckily i have no social priorities so this is not a big deal. currently reading a number of books after completely crashing out of doing that for the entire month of June. i think i can get about 3 in before the end of the month, we’ll see

  •  J.B. Pinkle   ( @jbpinkle@beehaw.org ) 
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    11 months ago

    Just created my account here in the past day. I know it probably can’t last, but I don’t think I’ve had that “cozy” feeling right away in a forum or other online community like this in decades, and I’d say it was somewhat rare even “back in the day.”

    So far folks seem to live up to the stated goals of the place and I think that’s pretty great.

    So my day is going pretty good because that’s a pleasant surprise, and because a stressful work event today ended up being not too stressful after all.

    •  chris.   ( @nihilx7E3@beehaw.org ) 
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      411 months ago

      welcome! i created my account over a month ago but i agree, this is the most civil & “cozy” site i’ve seen in a while since small niche blogs & forums were actually a thing. places like this have been rare af since the late 2010s, so it’s refreshing to see such a place with this many users

  • Yesterday was my first day back at work after vacation (just chilled at home knitting and listening to audiobooks for a week) and it actually went incredibly well. I’m on a new ADHD medication that seems to be working without much side effects at all wbich is a huge relief and hopefully will really positively impact my productivity at work.

    Me and my partner had a good and productive talk about our communications, and that was great.

    It is absolutely ridiculously humid AF outside so the little thunderstorms we’ve been having this week have been a nice little break, with the added excitement of wondering if the power will go out and if so for how long.

    I’ve read three books so far this week and am on a great series by Samantha SoRelle that I’m really enjoying.

    Hope everyone is having an awesome day.

  • To cap off one of my strangest days in recent memory, I just got a call asking if I can go to England all next week to accompany a choir tour. Nothing’s confirmed yet, and I’d have to pull some major strings to get out of my obligations here. However, I’d really love to go.

    Unfortunately, we’re moving a few days after I’d get back, so I’d pretty much dump all the packing on my partner. She says I should go regardless, but I definitely don’t feel great about that.

    I also just finished up a take-home interview project for a part-time software development job. I’ve been trying to break back into that world for some time now, so I’m very excited about the opportunity.

    •  Piers   ( @Piers@beehaw.org ) 
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      311 months ago

      She says I should go regardless

      Then you should go. No doubt there have been or will be situations where you carry a heavier share of the load between you to support her needs. Equal partnership does not require things to be exactly 50/50 at all times in order to be fair and for both partners to feel supported. It’s also important to respect your partner’s own autonomous ability to make decisions about what they want for themselves and to express those choices. If they tell you they want to support you in some way that is important to you, you should take them at their word.

      • Well said and agreed. It felt awkward because next week was supposed to be a lighter period for me at work after some sustained intensity, while she’s ramping up for a big project due at the end of the month. So all along, we’d planned for me to shoulder more of the packing and last minute planning. I just wanted to make sure that she knew that I appreciated how much extra work I was passing on to her, and to express that I needed to find ways to make it up to her.

        However, late last night I found out that the choir’s original plan worked out and they don’t need me to go at all. So…yeah.

  •  Rudith   ( @Rudith@beehaw.org ) 
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    1011 months ago

    Hey!

    I’m actually having a really sad week. My mother had a heart attack on Saturday evening (really unexpected, no history, they still don’t know why) and collapsed. She lost oxygen to her brain for about 10 minutes. I’m trying to help my family and my dad through this time and I am finding anecdotes about people recovering (even if hard fought) but it’s hard because she is still not really responding to verbal communications. I remain hopeful that it will get better but can’t help the intrusive thoughts that the wonderful woman who raised me may be gone.

    If anyone has been in a situation similar and has advice, I am all ears!

    I apologize for the downer, and hope everyone else is doing better than I am.

    • Not exactly the same but my grandmother had a stroke that left her unable to care for herself although mostly mentally intact. She was miserable and never adjusted. It was hell, and everyone was relieved when she died. I know that sounds horrible but there was nothing we could do to ease her suffering.

      All I can really say is that brain injuries are awful, even if things turn out as well as they can the road there is going to be hell. Remember to take care of yourself, you’ll have days of grief and anger when you think thoughts you’re not proud of. Do not judge yourself too harshly, or your family.

      You will need time and space to grieve and it’s going to be very hard to get that at the moment. Try to make space when you can, and understand that everyone else needs that too. You will need support, your friends and extended family might avoid bring your mum up believing that it spares you suffering to avoid thinking about the situation. You might need to be quite explicit with your needs around emotional support, conversations, venting, and advice.

      I am sorry, my heart goes out to you. Generally the prognosis for brain injuries isn’t good, and it’s probably best to set expectations around that to avoid self blame and another round of grief if things don’t improve. That said stimulation is important for brain healing, particularly early on. Try to chatter, ask questions etc even though you might not get a response. Play music she likes, try to do things around her/in view. Try physical therapy stuff if she’s mobile. Even gentle movement of limbs by another person can help prompt re-connection of neural pathways.

      Good luck

    • I’m so sorry to hear that. My apologies, I can’t say I have any specific advice from a place of experience. I hope you have a strong support network outside of your immediate family that you can lean on at the moment, it’s hard to find space for yourself and your own emotions when you’re also trying to support other people. I wish you and your family all the best x

  • It’s okay. I hit a new weight high of 129 lbs (I am 5’11" so hitting as low as 119 is fucked) but now the idea of eating even more is extra nauseating and unappealing. About to see my therapist though and they’ll be thrilled with the gains. Anyone else fucking despise food and eating and biological needs??

    • My wife has struggled with disordered eating, and it’s been a long journey for both of us. She is also tall and got to a really scary place. She’s doing much better now, but it continues to be a process. Keep up the great work and don’t give up!

    • I’m burnt out and can’t focus at work. Really wish I had more that 2 weeks of vacation time a year

      Have been there, and am never far from there. It sucks and I wish you the best in overcoming it. Any chance you’ve got a supportive boss? Mine is and it helped a lot.

  •  Witch   ( @Witch@beehaw.org ) 
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    911 months ago

    My mother got put back on her disability benefits and now I’m hunting down apartments for us to live in to get out of a bad housing situation that we were stuck in because it was cheap and we only had one income.

    Got two viewings this week.

  •  TheOakTree   ( @TheOakTree@beehaw.org ) 
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    11 months ago

    Preparing to go to a national park, one that my mother has been excited to visit for the last decade… Yellowstone!

    We got very affordable flight ticket prices, and the whole family’s gonna be extra busy after this summer, so I’m hoping it turns out nicely. Also excited to try out my new binoculars! I want to see many borbs 🥺

  • Yeah. I just finished a book that I really enjoyed called A Day Of Fallen Night which is a pretty cool to The Priory Of The Orange Tree if you’ve heard of it. It really was a great read, but the pacing and chosen method for organizing the various character viewpoints made my skin crawl more than once. It was frustrating, but one of those books that I really wanted to read regardless.

    There is once a book that I read through, because once I’m committed I find it very hard to stop reading, but it was by far the most horrendous experience ever because the author didn’t use quotes for the entire book and I had a real hard time following the dialogue.

    Just finished also a couple of novellas which were a really nice and different from the more intense (e.g. action heavy) books I tend to read. They were the first books I’ve read where the protagonist is non-binary and referred to as they. It was challenging in some ways but also very good for me as well. A Psalm For The Wild-built and it’s sequel A Prayer for the Crown-Shy.

    Writing styles can certainly make a break books.

    That Meltdown book looks interesting!

    •  Nerples   ( @Nerples@beehaw.org ) 
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      511 months ago

      I desperately need to read Priory! A Psalm For The Wildbuilt was so good, was short but probably my favorite read of the year! I’ve been meaning to get to the sequel but haven’t managed to find time

      • The sequel novella is just as short, but I was fortunate to be able to read them back to back. I enjoyed them so much and found them so refreshing in so many ways.

        I don’t remember The Priory having the same pacing issues as it’s prequel, so I hope you really really enjoy it. And to be clear, I liked the prequel a lot too.

  • Thanks for these posts, it’s a nice little reminder to check in with myself. Ups and downs, but mostly good. Feels so nice after a long day to relax playing the new Zelda. I don’t care if I ever beat it, I just want to run around gathering mushrooms and stuff, it’s so soothing for me.