BREAKING: Apple is filing a legal action on the folk lore of Johnny Appleseed, requesting changes to the tale. Johnny’s name will be changed to Timmy Apple, a reference to Apple’s CEO Tim Cook. It also states that instead of planting apple trees, Timmy is distributing iPhones, iPads, and MacBooks; and rather than them being free, Apple will be charging recipients market price for each item.

-Apple, probably.

You can’t trade mark plant ovaries surely