“Better an empty house, than a bad tenant” after every loud fart.
i use a very similar one, in german we say: everything that doesn’t pay rent gets thrown out
“You don’t have to shovel rain.” - My grandfather when asked why he moved the family from Wisconsin to Oregon.
“How are you ever gonna keep a job if you can’t keep juice in a cup?!”
I was 9 years old
My grandmother used to say: if you expect your good deed to be reciprocated, you’re not actually doing a good deed.
She said it in dutch, so I hope it’s an decent translation.
I’ve heard this one put similarly: “If you’re looking for something in return, even your good deeds are an extension of your selfishness.”
‘Whits fur ye will no’ go past ye’ - what’s for you will not go past you
My wee Scottish granny had some real wisdom.
‘No point in worrying about somethin cos if it happens ye suffer twice!’
From my grandmother: “Essen! Essen!” (Eat! Eat!) Followed quickly by “You need to lose weight! You’re getting fat!”
When he was talking about turning 100: “I can’t see, and I can’t hear, but I can still eat so I’m not going to die.”
He did indeed make it to 100.
Friend’s grandfather used to say…
The hurrier I go the behinder I get.
In response to someone saying “oh my god” every single time, without fail:
“Well he’s my god too!”
Our god.
(Cue L’Internationale.)
Oh man… this takes me back.
My grandpa used to always say to us kids, “I’m going to go upstairs to have sex with your grandmother”.
George Carlin used this one. “I’m going upstairs and fuck your grandma”
“Who just shit my pants?”
It’s not so much a catch phrase, but words that I will always remember.
My grandmother was a WWII vet who came home and vowed to be a pacifist. She raised 7 kids before going back to school. She was at Kent State in 1970, working on her masters degree. She happened to be on the commons when bullets started flying.
She died ~2002. When we were cleaning out her belongings we came across a brown stained handkerchief in a plastic bag along with some news clippings. The clippings were her letter to the editor of the Akron Beacon Journal describing her experience on May 4th. The hanky had a little handwritten note that said “this is the blood of Allison Krause. Shed for many. May 4th, 1970”.
My grandmother was an amazing woman who did so many great things after the war. You could easily write a movie about her accomplishments. But out of everything she did, the words on that little note made the biggest impact on who I would grow to be.
A blind man would be happy to see that. (About a task completed poorly on a jobsite)
They is also “better hear that than being deaf” after hearing something ridiculous.
When he wanted to remind us to turn off lights, he’d yell “save electrodes!”
When he was splitting wood with the “kabunger” (splitting maul) he’d yell “katabuungie!” When he swung.
When he’d drop wood on his toe he’d yell “GOTDAMMITSONOFABITCHGRAAH”
My Pop, whenever he was asked where something was: “It’s in Annie’s room, behind the clock.” There was no Annie in our family, nor a bedroom with a clock you could put things behind.
Also my Pop whenever asked what something was: “It’s a wig-wam for a goose’s bridle.”
These may not be iconic to anyone else, but they are sure as hell iconic in family lore, and us grand-kids are making sure we pass it down as much as we can.