•  Gaywallet (they/it)   ( @Gaywallet@beehaw.org ) 
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    11 months ago

    Just dropping in here to say that a topic like this is a fraught one asking for conflict. I’m also vaguely unsure what good could come out of it. It’s not explicitly not nice and could lead to discussions about things people wish to improve in themselves, but if you want to ask questions like this in the future it may serve you (and the community!) to think about how to frame them in a way that encourages nice behavior.

  • This is a great question. My own motto (stolen from Wil Wheaton of course) is “Don’t be a dick”, so whenever I learn that my words are offensive, I start using better words.

    But, I am no angel. I just learned yesterday that I’ve been saying something constantly for my whole life that is offensive to the disabled- it’s simply the word “Duh”. It comes out super automatically anytime I do something dumb. I don’t mean it to be unkind to anyone with a disability- I am autistic myself- but I’m going to have to work really hard to stop using that one.

  • I still think of doing things “Dick hard and retard strong”. Offensive sure, but my former roommate used to always use it as ‘doing something reckless and not thought out but with full intent full steam ahead regardless of consequences’.

    Edit: not even regardless of consequences, consequences were never part of the equation

    •  Crotaro   ( @Crotaro@beehaw.org ) 
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      211 months ago

      Oh yes, I’m guilty of a couple words, including “bitch”, too. I know this might make me sound like a bad person (maybe I am?) , but when I say to my spouse in a joking manner “are you being a little retardigrade?” I waste no thought to consider how actually mentally retarded people might feel about it. Because if I started there, I’d have to ask myself where to and why to stop and which ways of conveying that you’re (sarcastically, sometimes) unhappy with a person or situation are fine. I know calling someone a pussy is considered sexist. Is “Hey, don’t be a dick” as well? I can’t see a good reason why it wouldn’t be. I think calling someone an idiot or stupid is not good because it would be offensive against mentally challenged people? I can’t easily think of a snappy way to convey to someone that I really don’t like them without it being offensive to some group in any way.

      I guess what I mean is, if someone extremely narrowly passes you in traffic and blows exhaust smoke in your face, is there a relevant subset of people who would think “Oh, person, that really wasn’t nice of you and frankly quite rude” instead of a much more snappy “Oh you goddamn cocksucking idiot!”?

      I keep thinking to the South Park episode with the chopper bikers where the kids call them fags and the adults try to tell them that it’s homophobic of them, and the kids kinda lose their minds trying to explain that it’s (for them) about insulting the bikers and they really have no bad thoughts towards homosexual people.