To be fair I still do these things but only when I’m alone.

Personally I love finding big puddles and then dig drains with a stick or my heel and watch the water flow.

Also love to throw a piece of wood into water and then toss stones high up in the air and try hit it imagining it’s a warship I’m trying to bomb.

Then also without going into details there are some pieces of clothing I would like to wear but don’t because they’re considered femine or gay.

  • I do whatever the fuck I want, unless it is unpolite or could hurt somebody’s freedom.

    I learnt that, as I don’t give a shit about what people are doing, they must also don’t give a shit either. People just care about themselves most of the time. The day I realized that, I had a strong freedom feeling.

    Having kids multiplied this attitude by 1000 and actually, I see people smiling and interacting with us while we’re fooling around.

    GO PLAY WITH FUCKING PUDDLES WEARING PINK PANTIES ON YOUR HEAD MY DUDE ! I might join you.

    • Ideally yes. But as a guy I have been insulted in public for small things like wearing nail polish, and that’s in a liberal German city. Most people don’t care, some don’t like it, some compliment it and some make me feel unsafe.

      And that of course has an effect in other areas too: what if my boss or my coworkers don’t like me wearing nail polish? They would never be open about it (our company would not allow it), but it might lead to some bias against me. And as they wouldn’t be open about it, I couldn’t react to it (by calling them out or changing jobs). Instead I might just advance more slowly and wonder why that is. It really fucks with your mind, when you know there is bias against you (or something you do) but you never know in which situations it actually comes into play.

      I still wear nail polish most of the time, because fuck the haters and we need to make progress somehow, but it’s not as easy as “I don’t care about them so they don’t care about me”.

      • I got you. Of course it’s easier said than done. But you got to be nuanced and able to read the room. Maybe think ahead to avoid being in trouble (work, edgy neighborhoods).

        But in the end, you must not care. Even insults. Insults have the value only you give to them.

        Take care ♥️

  • I’ve always been such a child at heart and my soul is bursting with whimsical energy when I see kids playing pretend at the playground next to where I walk my dogs. I’d love to play pretend with them, encourage the children to really let their imaginations run wild and free. I was often lost in my own world as child. I know what it’s like to be so consumed by it. I want to fight the robot king, too!

    I’m an adult male however. I would definitely look like a child predator, so I must go on my way.

  • In my past I used to take on janitorial or maintenance jobs, but the grossness of the job combined with the attitude of the general public just made it unbearable. People would ask me if I was a citizen and when I said yes, they’d tell me that it’s a job for immigrants. They’d also say that it’s a job for slaves and ask if I felt like a slave doing that kind of work.

  • Wear a fanny pack/carry a non-backpack bag as a man.

    It’s so convenient to have a bag full of stuff on you. Like I’m out and have a headache, boom Aspirin. At dinner and got some food in your teeth, bam flosser. It’s very satisfying when a situation comes up and you have the exact thing to solve a problem right there in your bag. But a backpack is too big and bulky and anything smaller becomes a purse and this looks down upon for a man to carry.

    I only get the courage to wear it when on a trip where I can overly justify it. Like hiking, or a theme park or convention. I feel like if it was an everyday thing I’d have to explain it or hear about it more than I’d want to.

  • I’m so scared to be seen, that I can’t even go for a walk. I also want to get skateboard, but I can’t for the same reason. I’m terrified to be seen alone, or just seen in general.

    Yet despite this, somehow I’m the opposite of that and manage a bunch of girls with compete confidence when I’m at work. I also have to deal with a ton of customers and don’t even hesitate to say no or let them have negative judgement to me. I’m very socially competent and meet new people all the time without fear of rejection and opening up. I definitely stand out, in a good way.

    Yet I’m scared of them simply watching me going for a walk outside??

  • There’s loads of little daft hobbies I either don’t do at all or hide. I went magnet fishing with a friend once, we found some cool jewellery that I still have and it was fun, so I went home and bought my own kit, I’ve never been though cause I don’t want to be that person doing it alone, or to actually ask anyone to come. Just lives in a box.

  •  stephan   ( @stiephel@feddit.de ) 
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    1 year ago

    Sounds like you’re still a kid at heart. I’ve got a 2yr old and I immensely enjoy playing these sorts of games with him. My wife always jokes that I’m using the sandbox more than him, she even snapped a couple of pics of me playing alone in there.

    What kind of clothes are you talking about? A skirt on a man is still pretty courageous, but if you’re talking about a pink shirt just go for it. You’ll not be judged.

    • What kind of clothes are you talking about?

      Overknee socks, crop tops, tiny shorts, speedos, yoga pants …

      I’m perfectly aware that it’s not that others care that’s holding me back but the fact that I care. Doesn’t make it any easier though.

      • Ayy, speedos gang! May others avert their eyes if they can’t handle me and all my sexiness, and may the rest of you, girls or guys, enjoy the eye candy.

        Regarding the original question, while I’m already running around in speedos, I absolutely wouldn’t mind some more colorful clothes, or perhaps some final fantasy/guild wars inspired clothing. Like those outer coats that go all the way to your shoes, but with decorations and stuff. But I feel that the included judging is a commitment I’m not ready for yet.

  • Pretty much that last paragraph of yours.

    I don’t care if people see me as childish, weird, or even dumb. I do lots of things that make me seem all of those things.

    But that makes me hesitate for some reason.

    I did open up about it to some friends I was sure wouldn’t judge, and it helped a lot.

  • I’d be more comfortable with physical contact. I’m NB, but most people still perceive me and treat me as a man (even though I’ve said many times that I’m not) and that comes with the stigma of keeping distance.

    I also love to play with LEGOs, it’s kind of therapeutical I guess. It’s just me, talking about random things. It’s the same with videogames, I mostly play RPGs, but it isn’t as “weird”.

    BTW, while I’m non-binary, I’m still involved in man’s problems because I live them for my appearence. I also help some male friends with their problems with masculininty and feminism, so they don’t end up being redpilled alpha sigma males lol

  • Nothing. I truly do not give a fuck anymore.

    The key is to accept there will be social consequences and to ignore them. Once people see the consequences they impose do not affect you, especially after they escalate which they will do at first, they’ll stop and accept your behavior.