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seahorse [Ohio] ( seahorse@midwest.social ) M to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 3 years ago

Report: You Could Quit Job Right Now And Just Play PS5 Until You Run Out Of Money

www.theonion.com

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Report: You Could Quit Job Right Now And Just Play PS5 Until You Run Out Of Money

www.theonion.com

seahorse [Ohio] ( seahorse@midwest.social ) M to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 3 years ago
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NEW YORK—Saying the choice was entirely in your hands, a report released Monday found that you could quit your job right now and just play PlayStation 5 until you run out of money. “At this very moment, you could walk out the front door of your office and go home to spend month after month playing God Of War: Ragnarok …
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  • RagnarokOnline ( RagnarokOnline@reddthat.com ) 
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    3 years ago

    Don’t you fucking tempt me

    • grte ( grte@lemmy.ca ) 
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      3 years ago

      To quote the article,

      just do it—do it right now.

      • agent_flounder ( agent_flounder@lemmy.one ) 
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        3 years ago

        Ok fine. Wait I don’t have a PS5 and now I don’t have a job. Dang it.

        • UndefinedIsNotAFunction ( UndefinedIsNotAFunction@programming.dev ) 
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          3 years ago

          You can come use mine and I’ll use you as inspiration to quit.

          • RagnarokOnline ( RagnarokOnline@reddthat.com ) 
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            3 years ago

            You can come use mine and I’ll use you

            🤔

            • qyron ( qyron@sopuli.xyz ) 
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              3 years ago

              There are stranger way for two people to get together. And bump-intos with coffee cups and piles of paper are worn out.

  • 🦄🦄🦄 ( Duke_Nukem_1990@feddit.de ) 
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    3 years ago

    Please don’t tempt me, I am barely holding on.

  • superkret ( superkret@feddit.de ) 
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    3 years ago

    deleted by creator

    • RootBeerGuy ( RootBeerGuy@discuss.tchncs.de ) 
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      deleted by creator

    • windtorn ( windtorn@beehaw.org ) 
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      3 years ago

      You don’t even need the essentials for the rest of your life!

    • 🦄🦄🦄 ( Duke_Nukem_1990@feddit.de ) 
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      3 years ago

      Look at Mr./Mrs. rich over here

  • oldGregg ( oldGregg@lemm.ee ) 
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    3 years ago

    I’ve made it 9 months since I quit.

    Lotta chicken and rice but I thought I’d take my retirement before I die in the food wars

    • ogeist ( ogeist@lemmy.dbzer0.com ) 
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      3 years ago

      Bruh, I aim to the water wars. That’s starting next year, I believe.

  • amphetaminisiert ( amphetaminisiert@feddit.nl ) 
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    3 years ago

    I’ve been jobless for around 2 years now because of depression and shit, finally got back into working and I hate myself for not starting up my world of warcraft career back up. I could be a wow king by now 🙃😂

    • 🦄🦄🦄 ( Duke_Nukem_1990@feddit.de ) 
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      3 years ago

      As someone who is currently neglecting their offline life again becausenof that game (Classic Hardcore goes brrr) - be glad that you didn’t :D

    • SokathHisEyesOpen ( Anticorp@lemmy.ml ) 
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      3 years ago

      I’ve done that before. When I quit I stood in Orgrimar and gave out 10,000 gold to everyone who asked. That was a shit load of gold back then, although it might not be now. But I completely changed the Azeroth life of a dozen or so people.

  • npz ( npz@lemm.ee ) 
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    3 years ago

    deleted by creator

    • dontcarebear ( dontcarebear@lemmy.ml ) 
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      3 years ago

      deleted by creator

      • Natanael ( Natanael@slrpnk.net ) 
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        3 years ago

        Trained other skills.

        Don’t mention it was gaming skills, lol

      • Fraylor ( Fraylor@lemm.ee ) 
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        3 years ago

        Honestly, I don’t have a technical background at all, my background is social work and physical security. I have always gotten approval by telling people I got a lucky hit in the stock market and used that money to float while I looked for other opportunities. It is true, but about three jobs ago. Still works though!

    • Mcballs1234 ( Mcballs1234@lemmy.ml ) 
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      deleted by creator

  • jet ( jet@hackertalks.com ) Banned
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    Removed by mod

  • DasRubberDuck ( DasRubberDuck@feddit.de ) 
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    3 years ago

    If only I had a PS5…

  • shiveyarbles ( shiveyarbles@beehaw.org ) 
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    3 years ago

    The guy in the picture is not playing FIFA. If he was he’d be frowning and smashing his controller

    • iminahurry ( iminahurry@discuss.tchncs.de ) 
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      3 years ago

      I don’t think anyone playing any game has that expression on their face while playing.

      • Chariotwheel ( Chariotwheel@kbin.social ) 
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        3 years ago

        Nintendo Australia has captured the face when playing perfectly: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIJODMsYbkc

        The silent pain of existence.

        • Blackmist ( Blackmist@feddit.uk ) 
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          3 years ago

          The real TotK experience is spending 10 minutes creating an overcomplicated vehicle with the slightly fiddly controls, before accidentally hitting it and watching it zoom off into the distance…

          • kamenLady ( kamenLady@startrek.website ) 
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            3 years ago

            I’m almost asleep and was trying real hard to understand the real TikTok experience…

            Good night

      • ParsnipWitch ( ParsnipWitch@feddit.de ) 
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        3 years ago

        You have never seen someone play Animal Crossing or Stardew Valley have you?

  • regalia ( regalia@literature.cafe ) 
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    3 years ago

    Definitely do this, except replace playstation with heroin.

    • Deiv ( Deiv@lemmy.ca ) 
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      3 years ago

      Por que no los dos?

      • LegionEris [she/her] ( LegionEris@feddit.nl ) 
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        3 years ago

        Because depressants will make you suck at video games. You gotta get into stimulants to combo with gaming. On the plus side, if you get into meth or crack, you’ll have the energy to hold down a part time job and full time gaming addiction for a few months before you start to come apart! Then you’ll have a few more months of just cracked out gaming after you get fired before you’re evicted. If you’re lucky and steal some wifi, you could eek out a whole year of 40+ hour gaming weeks of erratic, aggressive high level play. You’ll set random records. You’ll birth new slurs to yell at children. You’re not gonna accomplish any of that on heroin. You’re really gonna let people down on heroin.

    • iHUNTcriminals ( iHUNTcriminals@lemm.ee ) 
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      3 years ago

      This comment was wayyyyy too palatial.

  • Hyperreality ( Hyperreality@kbin.social ) 
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    3 years ago

    Tempting.

  • SuperSaiyanSwag ( SuperSaiyanSwag@lemmy.zip ) 
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    3 years ago

    Literally what I have been doing since last month. I made it a bit more challenging by going on a vacation for a week too.

  • theodewere ( theodewere@kbin.social ) 
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    3 years ago

    they should have called me for research, i actually tested this one when the technology was PlayStation™

  • BoB ( IrrelevantBoB@feddit.de ) 
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    3 years ago

    Amateurs… I have been doing this for more than a decade. Thank you Satoshi

  • habl ( habl@feddit.nl ) 
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    3 years ago

    In this economy that’s 3 weeks. I’d rather call in sick.

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