Basically title, every bit of online dating nowadays is either Match or Meta, and we’re all about breaking corporate chains right?
So these are the thoughts I had:
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Matches based on simple user selection: age range, lifestyle, hobbies etc. None of that dumb algorithm stuff that makes you reset your profile every month.
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ActivityPub protocol so that anyone can run their own instance, but can also be blocked if anything heinous happens.
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E2EE for messaging (and anything else if it’s possible).
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Someone wrote an open-source anti-CSAM script for Lemmy recently, I hope we could adapt that to our use.
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Just, like, everyone have a good time on this app, we’re here for love lol
I am not a coder, so I would have no idea how to do this, but I wonder about the interest in such a creation. Maybe some of you out there could make something I could use to get a date (pls).
ActivityPub protocol so that anyone can run their own instance, but can also be blocked if anything heinous happens.
The overlap between the users who will run their own instance and the users you want for a dating app is the empty set.
(Speaking as someone that runs a personal Lemmy instance here)
Neckbeards fighting about Linux. No girls in sight.
Like Lemmy.
Select your distro, sock color, and [top|bottom].
Sausages everywhere
You need actual moderation to keep people safe.
Lmfao fuck no
All lack of moderation gets you is spam bots. Current platforms are unmoderated
I don’t think there’s any chick’s here dude. It’s just us.
Can we please leave this awful mindset behind on reddit
it’s probably true though, and when talking about a dating site that’s an important factor
Yeah there’s no chicks here dude bro
I don’t exist
the overwhelming majority are guys I mean
bats eyelashes
briefly forgot men have eyelashes too and got excited
Do bats even have eyelashes 🦇
Wrong type of bat 🏏
My wife is here, but for obvious reasons, her identify will remain hidden.
Everyone’s identity should remain hidden, don’t sell yourself short bud.
Jokes on my wife, I was still 3 cover names deep when she changed hers.
In theory? Yes. In reality? No.
Besides all the practical reasons already mentioned, it’s simply a question of marketing to get people into it. Which costs money noone wants to pay because it kills the principle of breaking free of corpo-hold. Without marketing you’ll end up with the nerds that are already here (majority). And of those, the majority are probably also male.
And on top of that, you might find other people living in NYC but what about smaller cities or even foreign ones? With reddits userbase you probably could, but you don’t reach them because they already prefer mainstream-stuff 😐
Yep. Dating services are hard mode for the network effect, because you need to find a bunch of users that are close to you.
Aye. Would kinda defeat the purpose if there’d be noone near. And the chances that one person near you does also like you is… Well… Let’s say, it sucks for the majority of men.
I’d actually guess the man would leave first most of the time. There’s way too many dudes that rely on dragnet mass messaging to anyone they find attractive, to the point where they make it difficult for all the other men.
Aye. Pointless.
I don’t think it federates, but there’s Alovoa, an open source dating platform.
You know, I am single and have been curious about dating apps for a while. But I never really got over the hurdle of making a profile because of how much of a hellscape it seems. I may be curious enough to make a profile in this website tonight (fully expecting 0 users in my entire country)
Thanks! I’m almost wondering if a federated dating platform would even work, given the moderation challenges.
Edit: Also there were like, three women in my area, so that’s problematic.
I tried it. Pretty cool, but the closest user to me was 270 km away. Maybe one day I’ll meet her, but for now I guess it doesn’t have critical mass for me.
I never understood reddit as a dating site. And the problems there are only amplified on Lemmy.
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user density in the geographic region I would date within. With reddit, at least I was quite sure there were other users within an hours drive of me
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it’s not a dating site and not set up with the guardrails needed to make it even marginally safe. If a person on Bumble starts being scary, there are some ways to report then and they will possibly be removed or restricted from the platform. On reddit and Lemmy, the responses will be one of the following “free speech, get wrecked”, “if you don’t want to be abused/harassed, you shouldn’t go into public spaces”, or “you signed up for the site, you asked for it”, or “give them a chance, they are probably just not good at dating skills” or even Andrew Tate acolyte bullshit that I don’t want to think about.
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distribution of gender and of sexual orientation across the platform. I would be surprised if Lemmy userbase is less than 95% men. Unless those men are gay/bi at an improbably high rate, there aren’t going to be many people available to match with.
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“everyone have a good time, we’re here for love” says the hordes of people who are actually here to waste time with no intention to actually date, cruise for nudes, or to data mine peoples personal information.
Tl;Dr if actual dating apps are not bringing a person dating success, nothing about Lemmy will be any better.
Gay nerd dating site
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Federated or not, dating sites don’t work well
I’m getting married next week. Met her on Tinder. Sometimes they absolutely do work
I used some dating apps on and off for about 4 years and got probably a couple dozen or so genuine not bot matches. Most of which didn’t last for more than a message or two. Even ran my profile by some of my women friends who I trust and they said it looked good. While obviously it works for some people, the experience for most people isn’t that great. These apps make their money by keeping people on the platform so getting matches goes against their main profit motive. The traditional methods work a lot better.
I got ghosted by the only 2 bots that messaged me.
Why would they work well? Their business model doesn’t incentivize dating apps to work well. They sell subscriptions so they’d rather their users stay perpetually single and become increasingly desperate.
Maybe if ur ugly lol
cries
That is a terrible idea
Yes, as so many others have said.
Somehow you’d want to continuously federate new instances to keep the userbase connected.
Does Lemmy do this? Like I said, almost no coding experience here, I took a couple of years of AP Comp Sci (Java) in high school and it stuck like the couple of years of Spanish class in middle school (es un tigre in mis pantolones).
Does Lemmy do this?
Kinda. More accurately, it federates with any instance its users decide to follow (unless explicitly defederated by instance admins)
Each person could keep a log of people they know who are single, and then when someone asks if they know anyone who might be interested in going on a date, they could instantly recall a suggestion from their cache! Distributed, peer reviewed recommendation, local. The best part is that it doesn’t even require a computer!
if the list is supposed to be restricted to single people, how am I supposed to grow my gay polycule?
I’m a coder and I have no idea how to do this
Do you want it to show matches with people who are around your location, or anyone on the internet? If it’s the latter, maybe try starting a dating community, if there isn’t one already.
You could have people start a thread with the basic info: age, location, gender, sexuality, etc. Then what you’re looking for: age range, hookup or long term, etc.
The comments could be general questions like an AMA to get a better idea.
If someone likes your style, they can send OP a DM
You literally just described tinder