In moments of turmoil such as this, some believe it is the responsibility of a newspaper of record like The Onion to delve fully into the nuances of a complex and multifaceted conflict that stretches back not just decades but centuries. These people are wrong.

Amen

“Perhaps some would call on us to point out the obvious moral hypocrisy of those far-left Americans who bandy about terms like “war criminal” while turning a blind eye to what amounts to an unconscionable war crime on the part of Hamas. But we are also not going to do that. Why? Because people will get angry with us—extremely irritating people, to be clear—and we just don’t want to deal with it.”

Ah yes, the tankies. There are even reports of them doing the same thing but for throwing around “imperialism” while turning a blind eye to Russian expansionism not only in Ukraine, but also often fantasizing about coming for Alaska next. (But knowing tankies I wouldn’t at all put it past them to support an invasion of “the imperial coreTM” to own the “ameritardsTM”)

They’re really getting comfortable with the new normal. Now that Trump is actually out of office they probably don’t feel so stepped on. Joe Biden refusing to suggest drinking bleach as a disease treatment leaves you some room to work, you know? I guess we’re standing with Israel but way off to the side and minding my business about it.