- simple ( @simple@lemm.ee ) 49•11 months ago
Nothing. I’ve read enough Monkey’s Paw stories to know this is a bad idea.
- Gamma ( @GammaGames@beehaw.org ) English38•11 months ago
Poof, you now have nothing
- Tolookah ( @Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de ) 8•11 months ago
That’s still a step up for some people
- Otter ( @otter@lemmy.ca ) English13•11 months ago
We’ve also got a growing community for these: !monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz
- Seasoned_Greetings ( @Seasoned_Greetings@lemm.ee ) 6•11 months ago
You end up with a genie begging you to make a wish every waking moment of your life, ala “three thousand years of longing”
- Auli ( @Auli@lemmy.ca ) English1•11 months ago
Depends if there is a scientist across the street.
- Susaga ( @Susaga@ttrpg.network ) English30•11 months ago
I wish the genie is so bad at curses that everyone always enjoys being cursed by them.
- Seasoned_Greetings ( @Seasoned_Greetings@lemm.ee ) 26•11 months ago
I’d get a team of the best lawyers I could find to sit down with the genie and me to hash out a lengthy contract devoiding any intentional curse and put in a hefty monetary incentive for the lawyers to get it right, as well as punishment clauses for breaking it, then wish that the genie had to unwaveringly abide by that contract. That way, if he makes me suffer he has to suffer too or redo my request to my satisfaction.
Then I’d probably write in a steady, better than average and reasonably liveable income without having to work for it for the rest of my natural life.
Pretty sure I saw this concept in an early episode of fairly odd parents.
- ramble81 ( @ramble81@lemm.ee ) 16•11 months ago
Genies are not considered humans and thus cannot enter into a legal agreement. Courts find your contract null and void and the Genie still gets always with screwing up your wish.
- Seasoned_Greetings ( @Seasoned_Greetings@lemm.ee ) 13•11 months ago
If my wish is for the genie to abide by the contract, then the thing holding him accountable is his own magic, not a human or court. The lawyers aren’t there to follow the law, they’re there to see that the contract is logistically sound.
If a genie cannot be beholden to his own magic, then there’s really no point in expecting any kind of wish to be free of a curse anyway because he’s just going to do whatever he wants regardless of what you wish for.
- ramble81 ( @ramble81@lemm.ee ) 7•11 months ago
because he’s just going to do whatever he wants regardless of what you wish for.
ding, ding ding and there in lies the inherent issue with genies. People only think they’re doing what you wish. Their goal is to creatively screw you over.
- Seasoned_Greetings ( @Seasoned_Greetings@lemm.ee ) 10•11 months ago
I mean sure, but assuming that he doesn’t have to abide by the wish in question in any way pretty much voids the point of this entire post right?
At this point in the argument, on your logic, the post itself might as well be “Make a wish, it doesn’t matter what. A malevolent genie is going to arbitrarily screw you”
So then what’s the point?
- kate ( @kate@lemmy.uhhoh.com ) English5•11 months ago
“In the way that I hope for, and in the way that I expect” should cover it, I think
- Call me Lenny/Leni ( @shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee ) English25•11 months ago
I would wish for a better genie.
- maeries ( @maeries@feddit.de ) 25•11 months ago
A genie emerges that’s even better at cursing your whish
- Call me Lenny/Leni ( @shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee ) English12•11 months ago
A genie emerges from the lamp, and promises to try to curse you less
- Call me Lenny/Leni ( @shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee ) English6•11 months ago
Darn, I thought I nailed that one.
- Saigonauticon ( @Saigonauticon@voltage.vn ) English14•11 months ago
Hm, sound like abuse of power to me. I’d wish for the genie to lose the ability to grant wishes. It needs to be cursed though, so I’d have to help with that.
Since it can still offer wishes, just not grant them… I’d help it learn to code. It could have a bright future as the CTO of a tech startup in the next hype cycle. I would not invest.
I wonder how many times this has already happened.
- rgb3x3 ( @rgb3x3@beehaw.org ) 2•11 months ago
Hmm, this gives me a funny idea about a genie that is freed from his lamp, grants the three wishes, then has to figure out what to do now.
So he decides to become a programmer at some FinTech company.
Call it “Cubicle Genie.”
- Saigonauticon ( @Saigonauticon@voltage.vn ) English1•11 months ago
Programmer? Nah, programmers have to deliver.
If they have a thousand years of experience promising any wish granted, but no ability to follow through on that promise? They’d be wasted as a programmer. They should be made executive leadership. CTO at least. Maybe CEO.
Although maybe they’d make more by handling investor relations on contract – e.g. paid a % by seed or Series A investors to handle fundraising in later rounds. Private equity is pretty screwed up these days :(
- bestusername ( @bestusername@aussie.zone ) 12•11 months ago
The genie’s freedom!
C’mon Muldur, you can wish for anything
- Emma_Gold_Man ( @Emma_Gold_Man@lemmy.dbzer0.com ) 2•11 months ago
The genie is now free to curse you and others without bothering with the wishing part - and does. Constantly.
- The Bard in Green ( @thebardingreen@lemmy.starlightkel.xyz ) 9•11 months ago
“I wish for whatever I would get if an alternate version of me who were much smarter, kinder, more compassionate, more loving, less selfish, much less short sighted, much more creative and much more prepared to word the perfect wish, WHILE STILL BEING ME with my values, goals, principles and desires were making a wish from an alternate version of YOU who tries to bless wishes, instead of cursing them.”
(also, I know how to fuck this one up)
- Susaga ( @Susaga@ttrpg.network ) English11•11 months ago
Granted. You get nothing. The alternate version of you was kind enough to wish for someone else’s health and happiness, and wanted nothing for themself. Also, your curse is to know with certainty that not only are you not this superior version of yourself, but you’ve proven by your inherently selfish wish that you will never be that person.
- The Bard in Green ( @thebardingreen@lemmy.starlightkel.xyz ) English2•11 months ago
The alternate version of you was kind enough to wish for someone else’s health and happiness, and wanted nothing for themself.
That’s why I specified “still me, with my goals, values, etc.” I KNOW myself and this wouldn’t happen.
What WOULD happen is “You get a machine you cannot understand. You spend days / weeks / years trying to get it to do SOMETHING, ANYTHING, but it never does. Then, one day, after wasting countless hours of your life, you get it to turn on and it immediately causes before spinning out of control and tearing itself apart.”
- Susaga ( @Susaga@ttrpg.network ) English5•11 months ago
Oh, you want your interpretation where they have your exact same desires? Granted. That alternative version made the exact same wish you did. It’s selfish all the way down, so there is no version where someone made a more concrete wish and you still get nothing.
You can’t have it both ways. You can’t have someone who is incredibly different but also exactly the same. It’s a contradiction.
Oh, and your curse isn’t what would happen. It’s just a bad fanfic plot device.
- SethranKada ( @SethranKada@lemmy.ca ) English4•11 months ago
Good luck. Even twisted, Good fortune is always a boon worth having.
- JokeDeity ( @JokeDeity@lemm.ee ) 3•11 months ago
I wish for all of the intentions I have which will positively affect me and others will come to fruition without effort.
- Emma_Gold_Man ( @Emma_Gold_Man@lemmy.dbzer0.com ) 5•11 months ago
None of your intentions that benefit you alone (playing a video game, satisfying a food craving) come to fruition anymore. Your other intentions that benefit at least one other person cause maximum harm to others as well. You basically just wished yourself an unending variation of “the monkey’s paw”
- JokeDeity ( @JokeDeity@lemm.ee ) 4•11 months ago
Damn, broke me with an and/or issue.
I like this one
- JokeDeity ( @JokeDeity@lemm.ee ) 4•11 months ago
Strangely I’ve had this shower thought a lot. I’ve mulled over how I would make my one wish to a genie many times. Which is pretty dumb when I think about it. I could have been reading shampoo bottles!
Same. I think that the best thing one can wish for is a way to learn things you want to learn as fast as you want to learn it, whether that thing be knowledge, or a skill, or a power (supernatural or not), with the immediate option to unlearn that thing, should any ill effects or undesirable outcomes occur.
That way, your potential is essentially infinite, but not ludicrously so such that the world gets boring, and that any changes are not sudden or dramatic.
- rautapekoni ( @rautapekoni@sopuli.xyz ) 2•11 months ago
Ok so I wish for the worst curse the genie can dish out and then what?
- deadcatbounce ( @deadcatbounce@reddthat.com ) 1•11 months ago
Another X wishes, X > 1.
- Miku Luna \ she/it ( @backhdlp@lemmy.blahaj.zone ) 3•11 months ago
You get X cards wishing you a happy birthday. No, they don’t have money