Both strangers or people you know?
As often as I can, people deserve to feel good.
God I really should, I just dont want to sound creepy.
Try making complimemts throwaway statements, like theyre a gemeral fact and not the focus of a coversation. I feel like thats the reason some compliments come off as creepy, plus don’t be overly familiar.
Same. I recently met a wonderful woman who I’ve become very good friends with. When I first met her, I was interested in maybe dating her, so I was very careful and selective with the compliments I gave her because I didn’t want to sound like a creep (and I’m autistic so I’m bad at judging what’s okay to say). After I asked her out and she rejected me, we agreed to just be friends, and I suddenly felt far more okay openly complimenting her in many different ways. It feels really good to give someone a genuine compliment just because you want them to feel good, no strings attached.
You look great today OP
Are you the CIA agent assigned to me?
Lovingly watching you. Every second of your life.
My wife: daily.
Others: sometimes.
Daily.
A few times a week, on average. Not much to compliment on because at this point I’ve complimented on almost anything that comes to mind.
When I made this post, I knew you’d pop up. Idk who you are lenny but youre always around and its amazing.
I actually thought ‘call me lenni’ will be one of the first 5 people to comment here and checked if you were a mod here!
Edit: same for cheese greater and 1984, still might see kolanak
Aww thanks <3
So far I’m just a mod in !casualconversation@lemmy.world and !downvotedtooblivion@lemm.ee but am open for more positions.
If you ever want to know more about me, you’re always welcome to ask anything (even here if you’d like).
I’ve been recently practicing voicing my favorable opinions on people to them. I’ve found I think nice things about people, and what is the reason why I wouldn’t share that. Seems to just give them a little boost while also creating a better social bond.
That’s cool!
Try it out yourself. Some people react strange to the out of nowhere compliments, but not that they regretted hearing it. A lot of the things I am saying are simple things like “Wow you strike me as very intelligent” “You smile with your whole face” “You have such an awesome sense of style”
Its been really good for me too since a lot of times I meet people and my immediate reaction is to be intimidated since I see so many of their positive qualities quickly, telling them the things I notice about them actually helps me retain my confidence in those situations too since I am the one being a beacon of positivity.
Like with most things in life, putting in effort pays out.
I feel like i’m much more comfortable complimenting people I don’t know other than my gf most of the time despite being someone who likes to complimemt people. Even if it comes off as flirty apparently
unsure abou how often; I don’t do it because I have to meet a quota, it’s more of a I-can’t-hold-to-myself-when-I’m-✨bedazzled✨ kinda thing?
Although as others have mentioned, I don’t wanna sound creepy; for strangers it’s generally about a cool accessory they’re wearing. i verbalize the compliment by refering to their uniqueness, not intending to start a conversation just, “cool hat 👍”
interesting question, thanks!
Nice tits.
I’m joking. Never do that.
Edit: oh, how often. As soon as they do something I appriciate. It’s easy to be kind.
This is the way, it’s easy and at times even contagious!
I only compliment people if they’ve done something impressive in some way. Rarely do I interact with strangers in any situation for that to occur. The limited situations like someone’s appearance or clothing beings stylish or something just seems like it would come off creepy to say so I won’t do that.
With people I know I tend to be pretty brutally honest so it’s rare I compliment them, but when I do they know it means something.
Pretty much every day, multiple times a day, with strangers, acquaintances, and friends. I think it usually brightens people’s day, and with strangers, I think delivery and content is much more important than what I look like or who I am.
For content, I only compliment choices, not attributes:
“Cool shirt!” is good, “Nice legs!” is not
“I love your haircut!” is good, “Your hair has such a nice texture!” is not
Tailored compliments are even better, ex. “That book (or other media) is awesome!” is great, if I really do like it, and it can start a conversation, but obviously I don’t lie and pretend I know it when I don’t.
For delivery, I keep it light and casual. I am mindful to only do it when they aren’t preoccupied, like on the phone or reading something. For tone, I guess I pop the compliment, smile, and movie on. For example, if we’re walking past each other-- I don’t slow down, and I look away immediately after giving a friendly smile. I don’t mean that I don’t care about their response, because of course I’m mindful to be sure I didn’t offend them, but I don’t burden them with needing to respond with gratitude or happiness. I think of it as, I want this person to have the (hopefully pleasant) information that their choice was seen and respected by a stranger. I don’t want anything back from them.
I would say 95-100% of the people I compliment seem to be genuinely happy I did, and of the ones who don’t react positively, I’d say the vast majority react neutrally. In the rare case where my compliment has totally failed, I usually go “Oh! I’m sorry” and again, disengage.
Obviously, with friends and acquaintances the options open up a little more, and usually I do follow up/continue the conversation instead of moving on. But it’s similar in the philosophy that I’m usually just trying to give them positive information, and not seeking anything in return. Compliments are not a tool to get people to talk to me or be friends with me. That can and does happen, but it’s not the point. Honestly, I think that’s the part that most people struggle with, if they feel like they don’t get good responses with compliments. It’s not for us.
I do think I’m probably an outlier, because I give compliments a lot. But I continue to do it because it seems to really make people smile!
Non-stop. If there’s an opportunity I’m doing it.
Probably twice or more as often as I complain. I’m not shy about either and I make sure that there complaint is reasonable, not about scoring points, and with an easy way out.
I am really anti people who only complain. Finding fault with something is really easy compared to complementing.
Finding fault with yourself is twice as easy as even that.
A simple complement can change a day and/or prevent a suicide that you would never know about.
If you want to know who someone is, watch how they treat people who they believe are ‘below’ them. If something is still ‘off’, get them drunk: real personalities come out to play when inhibition is completely gone.
@SnokenKeekaGuard It’s such a great question - Did you think it all yourself - wow!
I mean I thank you for the intended spirit, but never has a compliment sounded more sarcastic and patronizing
@SnokenKeekaGuard It was intended to be patronising & sarcastic?
💔