If so what kind of training they would have to go through ? By training I mean the spatial and situational awareness, combat skills (this is kinda unrealistic), enough knowledge to turn any situation to their advantage etc.
Just think of the person as your average joe who financially has nothing to spend on high tech gadgets or state of the art training equipment. And doesn’t even have any support from another human being. Basically one has to train from the ground up alone.
Don’t limit the answers to just James Bond and John wick, you can even consider any realistically possible superhero or supervillain (like batman or taskmaster) as well.
So what’s your take ?
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I don’t think any secret agent could rival any of those fictional characters. They have incredible plot armor, depending on the scenario. James Bond is an idiot who fucks every woman who moves, even when he knows they’re there to trap him, but has a magic dick that hypnotizes them onto his side.
Batman with prep time is an unstoppable force who could take down every army in the world at once if he really needed to.
No, no human can compare to these characters.
Hehe… magic dick.
- intensely_human ( @intensely_human@lemm.ee ) 1•11 months ago
I know a man whose dick is like heroin. Unfortunately he’s also completely immoral, so he’s fucked up a lot of women’s lives. Or rather, their brains. He’s fucked up their brains.
Well they say its ten thousand hours of practice to master a skill right.
Assuming you already work 8 and sleep 8 travel and maintenance stuff for 2 that leaves you 6 houra a day to dedicate to one aspect of spy craft.
That would take roughly 4 and a half years.
So then you’re an expert in firearms
Now you need to learn hand to hand combat so again 10000 hours but you need to maintain currency with firearms so you only have 5 hours a day to practice now it’s nearly 5 and a half years to become an expert.
So we’re at 10 years to learn gun control and hand to hand combat.
Havent even touched on spatial awareness stuff along with driving flying jet ski riding and seduction.
Okay, so if you start in your early 20s, you might make it by the time you are in your 50s. We can also use some hours over the weekend. This sounds like a totally doable thing
It’s also way more doable if you quit your current job and find another career that will not only encourage training in these areas, but financially compensate you for it, too.
I guess joining the military may help. Especially since one can get a lot of training with guns there.
As much as I would like to attempt, my chances are close to none because of low vision.
What are we waiting for??!?!
…and just like that, another dickhead cop is created.
Now that would be an interesting movie. You have a guy who really loved action hero movies as a kid and spent his life honing those skills. Not because he really wants to kill anyone, but just because it’s fun. He spends his professional career as a mundane office worker until one day a group of terrorists take over his office building and plan on killing everyone inside. He has to fight his way through multiple floors of trained killers to get to the top so he can take down the chief bad guy, The Raid/Judge Dredd style. Realistically, he would definitely die within like 2 minutes from getting shot in the back of the head, but it’s still a fun setup for an “unlikely hero” action movie.
He’s a sysadmin and he doesn’t do downtime
This used to be one my daydreams as a teenager. Except in real life, I couldn’t consistently train like I wanted.
After reading Atomic Habits by James clear last year - I realized how much I could have improved during those years had I kept at it.
But just like you said everything can be ended anytime with a single gun shot or some quick stabs from the back.
Are we in an action movie? In real life both of those gentlemen would die immediately. It’s extremely difficult to beat 2 people in a fair fight even for the best fighters, let alone more like in John Wick. James Bond is pretty much a meme for villains that make it really easy for him to escape.
In an action movie… Well, thinking like a writer I guess it would be a bit like the adult version of Home Alone.
In real life, I guess what’s the test? If it’s bodycount (and morality aside), see every mass shooting. If it’s taking down a major organisation from within, see whistleblowers like Edward Snowden. If it’s looking really cool see a fitness influencer or something.
it would be a bit like the adult version of Home Alone
Ah. So Skyfall then
- shiveyarbles ( @shiveyarbles@beehaw.org ) 12•11 months ago
Sorry I can’t talk about it
The closest equivalent I would think of are existing special forces of different militaries.
You first need the physical and mental ability to even be considered. From that, the military will then invest a lot in weapons, combat, and other training.
The closest outside of government training is maybe MMA, but that is only close combat. Even then, people dedicate their entire non-work time for years to get to that level.
I remember a video on youtube from a long time ago about an MMA fighter who got into a fight at a bar in, I think, Brazil. There were multiple guys with knives. Know what he did? He fucking booked it and still almost died. The reality is that the reason John Wick and James Bond win fights against multiple armed opponents is because the script demands it. In real life you would die almost instantly against greater numbers or armed opponents, regardless of how well trained you are or if you’re special forces or a secret agent. Because you don’t have plot armor.
I completely agree. Hell, this is why Bruce Lee carried a gun with him.
I was just looking at the closet real life equivalents. In reality, a person put in that position would likely be dead.
Then again, Gurkhas exist.
- Omega_Haxors ( @Omega_Haxors@lemmy.ml ) 1•11 months ago
My favorite video was a martial artist explaining how to win in a knife fight. He gets into a fighting pose, the fight starts, and then he runs away as fast as he can. EDIT: It was a military guy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kvlrnc7hlQI
- intensely_human ( @intensely_human@lemm.ee ) 1•11 months ago
Surely there are human development programs that aren’t disclosed to the public. Special forces are the ones we know about.
I would be surprised. We know about MK-ULTRA and other programs, and those involved drugs like psychedelics.
If we are talking about a program that involves training that anyone could afford, special forces and MMA seem like the best equivalent you could model that training off of.
No, no real human can become as capable as James Bond or John Wick even if they dedicate 24/7 to it.
- intensely_human ( @intensely_human@lemm.ee ) 7•11 months ago
If you want to develop spatial and situational awareness, all you need to do is grow up as a victim of parental abuse. You’ll know everything happening in a 50 yard radius for the rest of your life.
Being homeless helps a bit too, especially if you experience some violence while homeless. As many homeless victims of random violence have discovered, the police will not help you at all.
source: personal experience
I have a similar experience, although it may not be comparable to yours.
I grew up in a very strict household. My parents constantly checked up on me while I was a teenager and that too in a super sneaky way. At first I used to get jumpscared then I gradually became more aware of my surroundings (even through earphones on with music on low volume)
So I can confirm that this works. Its like using subconcious fear to boost sensory input I guess.
When you say “taskmaster,” I assume you don’t mean Greg Davies, right?
I meant the one from Marvel comics. White costume, and can copy any move that he sees.
You can train as much as you like, and have all the resources in the world, but until they invent real world plot armor, you would get wrecked by a stray bullet almost instantly. There are no realistically possible super heros.
Weird link, it goes to a Google Summer of Code post for me.
Their biggest strength, aside from fantasy physical strength, is years and years of experience in the field. You could train every aspect of it individually, in the end it’s all theory. It’s like every other job, only their jobs don’t exist, to the extend that they do it.
I’d say the closest that you could come to it is if you would join the French foreign legion or something.
Another factor that’s missing in the real world are the gadgets and impossible armors. Without that they wouldn’t survive this long.
Their biggest strength is the plot shield
Not only that, but Bond has an entire agency and thousands of people supporting him and his activities. There really are things you can’t do yourself while in a heated situation that have to be done.
This is for a friend, right?
Just work out after work, train on the weekends, and you’ll be better than a majority of people. And isn’t that enough most of the time?
- Omega_Haxors ( @Omega_Haxors@lemmy.ml ) 2•11 months ago
I’m sorry, no mortal can withstand the sheer level of alcohol that 007 goes through on a day to day basis.
True. Too much martini can fuck up anyone that is not 007 himself.
If John wick was a real human being with a regular human body he would be dead so quickly
He also had that bullet resistant suit on him which helped a ton. There’s a video by the Hacksmith to recreate the suit but obviously real world results were nowhere near John Wick’s suit.
No, there are very specialized aspects of their professions that people in other professions don’t get.