Sometimes I want to go out, but I don’t want to have to interact with people, and feel bad for ignoring them. Often I can’t even bring myself to open my front door because there are always people doing stuff in my apartment’s parking lot. I never feel able to get to know my neighbors because most of the time they are gone in a few months. Only one person here now was living here when I moved in.
I’ve got pretty bad social anxiety, though it is a lot better than it used to be. If I go to any local park there are bound to be lots of people there. I love to do outdoorsy stuff but even then I find it hard to find a place where I can really be alone. The state parks always seem to be pretty packed and are an hour away, or two during rush hour.
I really want to find a place where I don’t feel like I could be being watched. I have what I feel like is kind of a dumb dream, to find some nook nestled between a bunch of buildings or whatever. A place that is vaugely hard to get into with some grass or something to sit down in and enjoy. Something that would be very unlikely for anyone else to find.
I did actually find a place like this once but eventually it became semi-regularly occupied by houseless people and filled with trash, broken glass, drug supplies…truthfully I’m afraid to go there. And ever since there was a large fire started there the landowner set up an alarm and cameras pointing into the area that only works some of the time. If it isn’t people I’m afraid to run into it is that the ear-piercing alarm may be fixed this time. I fear any private space I find will be like this. And I get it, people have to live somewhere…it makes me feel like I’m invading someone’s home though.
Maybe I need to find an apartment with fenced in little areas behind each unit. I have a friend with a patio setup like that and it is great.
I made a reply to another comment, but also wanted to tell you that I 100% understand where you’re coming from and actually share that dream. It sounds very nice.
When I use to Uber, sometimes I’d get that cozy feeling just driving around at night after I’d dropped off my last ride, the city feels so quiet and calm at 3/4am.
I yearned for that feeling once when I was having trouble sleeping and just went for a walk at like 4am, it was very peaceful
I should really get back into doing late night motorcycle rides. I miss them but these days I’m ready for bed by 1AM.
I wish I wasn’t struggling to stay awake by 9PM I remember that feeling
Years ago my therapist gave me “homework” to take myself on a date. I never would’ve done it unprompted but it ended up being a great time—grabbed dinner at a little cafe bar and stopped by a smaller theater for an indie film.
Before I never knew how people could see a show or movie alone but now I get it. Especially with theaters now where you can see the seat reservations online, you can comfortably choose an isolated seat to yourself (unless it’s a newer release that’s bound to fill up). Plus it’s much easier to get a last minute ticket for one if you don’t mind sitting next to people, especially for in demand traveling plays/shows.
I won’t say I’m some expert on trekking alone all over the city now, but I’m glad this option is in my repertoire!
I’ll have to give that a shot, thanks!
Not exactly what you’re looking for, but how’s the local library? There will still be people, but staying put and gently ignoring each other is usually the vibe. Plus a large enough library is full of lonely nooks to disappear in for a while.
Ooh, university libraries would be great for this. Most don’t ID to get in, I don’t think… and there are always parts that are completely empty of people.
The University I used to go to was open to the public and the third and fourth floor would be basically silent floors it was great
I live in a moderately populated area and I usually try to go to parks and wooded areas, I usually see one or two people but I get a few moments of being alone between it. I think what really helps me is putting on headphones and listening to music or an audio book because people don’t tend to talk to me or interact with me if I have headphones on plus it helps me disconnect from the commotion around me and think.
I second the headphones, my city has a light rail and I really enjoy putting on some music and looking out the window and watching the city breathe.
If I’m feeling like I can’t or don’t want to talk to neighbors I just have the headphones on when I walk out the door and if I make eye contact with anyone I just give a slight smirk and keep on my business.
Riding transit in off peak hours is great for this and you can often get to a quieter location this way too. Some of my favorite days are the ones I spend on my own taking the train out of town when I need to travel, even though it’s not the fastest way to get around
Sometime when I wanted to be alone, I would go to the ramen shop, it really depends on which ramen shop it is, but they tend to be extremely chill and leave you the f*** alone.