becool ( @becool@kbin.social ) 20•1 year agoyou haven’t thought this through. what if they add a “daddy” to the end of everything they say?
turning off 3 lights daddy
your payment has been processed daddy
three hours ago, central intelligence discovered that, sometime between 0230 and 0415 this morning, a rogue russian sleeper cell, acting in the president’s secret service, was activated and instructed to abduct the commander-in-chief. he was successful, and the president is missing. for the last 3 hours, we’ve been searching, and coming up with nothing. that is, until roughly 5 minutes ago, when a gps unit hidden in his suitcase began transmitting. we have pinpointed the location of the suitcase. it appears to be coming from a decommissioned missile silo in the nevada desert, located 150 miles west of the hoover dam. we know not whether the president is still with the suitcase, but he is no longer our priority. the suitcase, which is a terminal that offers it’s user complete access to every active nuclear warhead in the country, is our primary concern. as you can imagine, the president’s life is inconsequential and you will waste no time or energy to secure him. your mission is to infiltrate the decommissioned silo and retrieve the suitcase terminal. all rules of engagement are suspended, any loss of life south of a nuclear holocaust is authorized, civilian or otherwise. the case must be retrieved at all costs. we’re counting on you. daddy.
V ( @vanderbilt@beehaw.org ) 6•1 year agoWhere is that last pasta from? Googled it but got nothing.
sapient [they/them] ( @sapient_cogbag@infosec.pub ) 5•1 year agoPerhaps its a new, Lemmy-original copypasta?
jivandabeast ( @jivandabeast@lemmy.browntown.dev ) 5•1 year agoThis is what makes it official, a true original copypasta
TaleOfSam ( @TaleOfSam@kbin.social ) 13•1 year agoUpvoted but (kindly) the exact opposite; I will always thank an automated voice.
I hope they remember me fondly in the Robot Wars….
jay ( @lunarshot@beehaw.org ) English7•1 year ago100%, I try to be nice to everything I encounter. Always a good please and thank you.
awesome_person ( @awesome_person@lemm.ee ) English11•1 year ago snaptastic ( @snaptastic@beehaw.org ) English9•1 year agoI also really hate the “personalised conversation” thing that they do, things like “thanks, we’re working on that” etc. Who the fuck is “we” here?
sexy_peach ( @sexy_peach@feddit.de ) English8•1 year agoI chuckle every time I see this post.
qwen ( @qwen@lemmy.blahaj.zone ) English5•1 year agoReads in Gianni’s voice
Zaphod ( @Zaphod@discuss.tchncs.de ) English5•1 year agoSource of this is “Welcome to my meme page” on facebook (I know, I know…) the dude makes some really funny and obscure memes
FiveMacs ( @Fiivemacs@lemmy.ca ) English4•1 year agoWhat about if you end up going blind and need tts
smitten ( @smitten@lemmy.blahaj.zone ) English1•1 year agoThey can speak if spoken to
Metaright ( @Metaright@kbin.social ) 4•1 year agoI am the deity now!
JizzmasterD ( @JizzmasterD@lemmy.ca ) English1•1 year agoIt’s lonely being a supreme being, right SmarterChild