after a busy last week things have calmed down significantly; about to finish a 900 page book in three days, which is quite an accomplishment
after a busy last week things have calmed down significantly; about to finish a 900 page book in three days, which is quite an accomplishment
Sounds like me from years ago.
I turned a bit towards doing civil disobedience. Which is—doing my own thing for myself rather than aiding anyone. To be honest, life was shit when I chose this because everyone around tried to make life shit even more for me. But it just turned out it was because how much they needed me while treating me like the most useless thing ever. And needed things to go back to the way it was, which was make use as well as abuse.
It will be shit but a way out of this seems to just be to ‘no’ anybody. To be genuine and if people are around, let them be. Oddly I do not do friends now, but have more people who are friendly than I could have had when I was in my previous situation.
Try looking for a non-essential job is my suggestion (retail labour is essential for the very people hurting you). Something in the arts was something you were already doing it seems (I saw the digital artist comment) so something which respects you a bit more than posting on those spaces would be fitting. Not quite what depends on the whims of other people. It is not exactly easy, yes, it is very tricky rather… it is easy to make many mistakes. But if you provide what is scarce (you’ll know when you see anyone asking if any such thing or resource exists on the internet anywhere and the answer is no, usually asked by people who do not have access to the more costly things in life), if you provide that while trying to figure out your thing, you’re more likely to get thank you’s rather than abuse. Especially when you provide more value than you ask for in return for it (in current market terms), and remain aware of the situation of the particular market you decide to engage in. Then, depending on your understanding of the situation, you could either continue or adapt your methods in the future.
I can’t say I haven’t felt desperate… but I feel at this moment I’ve already broken up the biggest problems which were persistently around me (in a permanent manner). An important thing to understand is malicious people usually rely on you, yourself, giving them a helping hand in them hurting you, so be aware of where and when you could possibly have been making it easier for them to be horrible to you without noticing it.