Got adult diagnosis last year, explained so much about my whole life 😳 ADD, so nobody ever really noticed, and I masked and internalized so much of it.

Funny to suddenly become aware of the coping mechanisms that I built up over the years without really noticing then. I’ve worn my keys on a cord attached to my pants since my early 20s, because I got so tired of locking myself out (also had key hidden outside apartment for backup, frequently used), or not being able to find me keys when I had to go somewhere. Having a specific place for commonly used items so I can always find them. Always keep item X on a specific pocket, item Y in another. Always having a shoulder bag with me to carry (an excessive amount of) stuff I might need, to avoid the frustration of needing something and not having brought it; the list goes on.

Your frustration of not being able to find something is so palpable, I can almost taste it. While I don’t get into rages, the exasperation, sometimes bitterness or hopelessness is horribly familiar, and I hope you find a solution that works for you.

My suggestions: if you’re not already, consider getting medicated. I started my evaluation (the Danish word is “udredning”, which is somewhat similar to “de/un-tanglement”; can’t seem to find a better translation, is it called an evaluation in English?) on Ritalin / methylphenidate, and it was horrid (for me). I didn’t feel like it helped with anything, and I was nauseous almost constantly.

Switched to Vyvanse / Elvanse / lisdexamphetamine, and it’s the best thing I ever did. I’m now on 50mg and I’m not looking back (went to 60mg but that seemed to be too much, and my wife started noticing me getting a bit more hectic again, way before I did).

I don’t need earplugs in crowded rooms anymore, because I don’t get overwhelmed by noise. My frustration with my kids when they’re loud has diminished by a large factor, which means I don’t feel guilty for getting frustrated with them. Leaving the house has become so much easier, because the near constant feeling of “what did I forget?!” is almost entirely gone.

Sure, I still lose/misplace stuff, but I find it happens a lot less frequently, and the frustration is also greatly diminished when it does.

I still have some serious issues with procrastination and prioritization, but I doubt any meds will fix those for me on their own, and I’m thinking cognitive therapy is the next step; but money is tight (specifically because being an independent graphic designer with strong procrastination issues and severely lacking prioritization skills is not a good combo… it’s a vicious circle 😣), so that will have to wait a bit.

I know you specifically said you weren’t looking for solutions, but I’m writing this in case it might help someone else with similar issues who stumbles upon your post.

Feel free to message me (or comment here) with questions, or if you need a friendly ear for sparring ideas about making everyday stuff more manageable. This goes for everyone 👍