ADHD person here. And I’m just so drained from spending hours meticulously looking for (essentially) $20.

It’s not about money — I’ll live without the $20. I’ve just lost so many important things in my life so many times that it drives me absolutely fucking insane. Seething, heart thumping, muscle flexing rage.

And what makes things worse is that I take measures to prevent this from happening. So when I still lose things, the failure just cuts twice as deep.

Not looking for any solutions atm. Just venting to folks who might get it while I physically recover and let the loss go. Thanks all.

  • DJDarren ( DJDarren@beehaw.org ) English
    6·
    3 years ago

    For me it’s the forgetfulness around this that really grips my shit.

    I lose things because I forget where I’ve put them, or I forget what I was doing when I last had them. My brain just goes off on its own little track, regardless of what I need it to do, then BAM, I can’t find something that my wife is asking me for.

    Completely randomly yesterday, I interrupted something she was saying to me to blurt out where I put the cats’ Dreamies, because I suddenly remembered that I’d put them in an out of the way place so they wouldn’t get to them and tear the packet up. If I’d waited until she’d finished talking, I’d have forgotten, then we’d never have found them again.

    • douglasg14b ( douglasg14b@beehaw.org ) English
      2·
      3 years ago

      Yessss

      How about forgetting words? I’m in a profession where trust of your intelligence & knowledge is rather important to “getting shit done”. And nothing tanks your reputability then stumbling mid conversation/explanation/argument because you forgot words and terms…

      It’s super frustrating, and sometimes I spend over an hour trying to find the word.

  • OdinsonThor ( OdinsonThor@lemmy.ca ) English
    6·
    3 years ago

    It’ll drive me crazy when I find a place to put something that makes sense, so it goes there so I don’t lose it, only to forget where it made sense a week ago and end up losing it anyway

  • Ignacio [he] ( Ignacio@beehaw.org ) English
    5·
    3 years ago

    Something similar happened to me when I was thinking about something, then I got distracted and I couldn’t remember what I was thinking about any more. And I had to return to my previous steps to recover that thought, in vain most of the time. The mental and physical drainage is beyond description.

    And the worst part about losing some object is that it can perfectly be in front of your eyes the whole time and you don’t even notice that. It happened to me many times too.

  • leopardpuncher ( renard_roux@beehaw.org ) English
    5·
    3 years ago

    Got adult diagnosis last year, explained so much about my whole life 😳 ADD, so nobody ever really noticed, and I masked and internalized so much of it.

    Funny to suddenly become aware of the coping mechanisms that I built up over the years without really noticing then. I’ve worn my keys on a cord attached to my pants since my early 20s, because I got so tired of locking myself out (also had key hidden outside apartment for backup, frequently used), or not being able to find me keys when I had to go somewhere. Having a specific place for commonly used items so I can always find them. Always keep item X on a specific pocket, item Y in another. Always having a shoulder bag with me to carry (an excessive amount of) stuff I might need, to avoid the frustration of needing something and not having brought it; the list goes on.

    Your frustration of not being able to find something is so palpable, I can almost taste it. While I don’t get into rages, the exasperation, sometimes bitterness or hopelessness is horribly familiar, and I hope you find a solution that works for you.

    My suggestions: if you’re not already, consider getting medicated. I started my evaluation (the Danish word is “udredning”, which is somewhat similar to “de/un-tanglement”; can’t seem to find a better translation, is it called an evaluation in English?) on Ritalin / methylphenidate, and it was horrid (for me). I didn’t feel like it helped with anything, and I was nauseous almost constantly.

    Switched to Vyvanse / Elvanse / lisdexamphetamine, and it’s the best thing I ever did. I’m now on 50mg and I’m not looking back (went to 60mg but that seemed to be too much, and my wife started noticing me getting a bit more hectic again, way before I did).

    I don’t need earplugs in crowded rooms anymore, because I don’t get overwhelmed by noise. My frustration with my kids when they’re loud has diminished by a large factor, which means I don’t feel guilty for getting frustrated with them. Leaving the house has become so much easier, because the near constant feeling of “what did I forget?!” is almost entirely gone.

    Sure, I still lose/misplace stuff, but I find it happens a lot less frequently, and the frustration is also greatly diminished when it does.

    I still have some serious issues with procrastination and prioritization, but I doubt any meds will fix those for me on their own, and I’m thinking cognitive therapy is the next step; but money is tight (specifically because being an independent graphic designer with strong procrastination issues and severely lacking prioritization skills is not a good combo… it’s a vicious circle 😣), so that will have to wait a bit.

    I know you specifically said you weren’t looking for solutions, but I’m writing this in case it might help someone else with similar issues who stumbles upon your post.

    Feel free to message me (or comment here) with questions, or if you need a friendly ear for sparring ideas about making everyday stuff more manageable. This goes for everyone 👍