As a man in his 50’s who grew up in the southern US, I rarely saw men showing any outward affection to their platonic male friends. Sure, you’d see a congratulatory pat on the butt playing sports, but that’s about it.
Interestingly, before that back in the 1940’s and 50’s, men were much more outwardly affectionate toward each other. I assumed the change was mainly due to societal pressures about homosexuality and the “hugging is for sissies” mentality. In the past 20 years that pendulum has swung back again and you see it more often.
So I’m curious what it’s like in your friend group? Are you uncomfortable with it? How do you tell your friends you love them? Or do you?
Edit: to clarify the title
A pat on the ass seems way more “friendly” than a hug. Maybe that’s just me. If they’re comfortable with that, it’s kind of funny a hug is where they draw the line.
Tough for me to speak to your generation’s experience though. I’m a late 20s male, also grew up in the southeastern US in a rural area.
Never had a problem hugging my male friends or telling them I love them. Hell, we still do that in a rough “redneck” bar without hesitation, and I’ve never heard a comment or received a funny look.
Hell, most of the rough-around-the-edges men at those same places also hug their friends, give them a pat on the back when they’re proud, or respectfully listen to them when serious shit is going on. All age ranges too.
Like others have said, most men are accepting of those gestures from friends. You may get the occasional teasing, but that’s out of love and respect, not meant to be mocking or degrading.