just interested in hearing peoples stories for how y’all have chosen your new names! doesn’t have to be particularly profound or interesting really, i just like hearing about others experiences.
i’m actually planning on changing my own soon socially despite being cis, and just really like hearing how others came to find their names, as well as am curious about if anyone had to go through more than one to find what’s right for them. i figured this would be the best community to talk about the topic even if i’m not trans :)
Never thought about this, this is such a smart thing to consider!
My new name has no similarity to my old name. Both will get my attention. This may be because we’re just different people with different brains, but it could also be that I introduced my new name in college, where I got lots of practice introducing myself with it, and the new name was the only name with which I heard myself addressed. The old name only comes out with my parents, but I do have 18 years of responsiveness to that name and only that name that are probably difficult to stamp out of my subconscious.
Also just realized that back when I only had my old name, some people shortened it to a nickname that begins with a different sound. This probably primed my brain to be responsive to that different sound as well, and my new name begins with that sound. Think “Elizabeth” as an old name, people shortening to “Liz,” and settling on “Lily” for a new name. I didn’t consciously pick the new name based on the nickname, but given the nickname was usually only used by people I liked, it’s possible it factored in subconsciously.
People can definitely adapt to new names, it’s not uncommon to get nicknames and lots of people pick up new last names through the custom of adopting their spouse’s name, but also if you don’t respond to a nickname people can call you by your regular name to get your attention. Eventually they both work, but for me it ended up being too stressful to adopt my middle name. I tried it after moving so the people around me (other than family) didn’t know my first name to fall back on. I felt really self conscious about not realizing someone was trying to get my attention.