This question is a joke. Also, the mods should add a joke tag to allow dumb answers.

  • heads up, there’s a reason I labeled them “stories” (certainly not something you can confirm through the church) – most of the stories come up as “secret knowledge” within the various esoteric/hermetic/gnostic sects and usually make reference to the Gospel of Mary Magdalene

    • possibilities include
      • most likely, Gospel of Mary, part of the Berlin Codex – somewhere between 100 and 150 CE maybe
      • less likely, Dialogue of the Saviour, part of the Nag Hammadi library – maybe 150 CE
    • two main councils for determining the New Testament (and remember they didn’t have carbon dating to determine authenticity)
    • we do know
      • the 12 disciples were sexist
      • Mary Magdalene was a single noble lady – a perfect target for misogynistic slander painting her as a prostitute
    • Wait, does your story include that the council found it preferable to say the Son of God, King of the Jews, legitimate heir of King David, hangs out with a prostitute than with a noble woman?

      • more insipid than that – that he would rather spend time with her instead of his “best buds” was clearly not right, so she must’ve been cheating – and if she was a proper woman, she would’ve been married already, something must be wrong with her …