Most of the time when people say they have an unpopular opinion, it turns out it’s actually pretty popular.
Do you have some that’s really unpopular and most likely will get you downvoted?
Most of the time when people say they have an unpopular opinion, it turns out it’s actually pretty popular.
Do you have some that’s really unpopular and most likely will get you downvoted?
My unpopular opinion is that too many people give way, waaaaaayyy too much attention to “correct use of gender pronouns” and they should all just stfu.
I understand why that is a big deal for trans people, because they make their gender the defining aspect of their character. Something I consider a mistake, nobody’s main defining characteristic should be their gender.
The vast majority of cishet people (if not all) make their gender the defining aspect of their character - so why should trans people be any different?
I already said it
But it already is, isn’t it?
So if this…
…is what you really want you need to start with cis people and not transgender ones, correct?
Is it what?
Dunno about you, but nobody I deal with in RL ever implied something among the lines of "refer to me as ". There was only one case of an ex-boss of mine who always liked to “joke”: “you can mistake my name, but never mistake my gender!”, but he was the exception
I worked with a guy who complained about the company allowing employees to put their preferred pronouns in their email signatures. He said that while he was an “ally to the LGBTQ community”, he thought pronouns were a way to create further division.
So I started using she/her while referring to the guy in emails.
He didn’t like it. And he didn’t understand the irony of demanding that I stop. He also didn’t understand the irony when HR told him that the easiest way to fix his issue was to declare his preferred pronouns.
Long story short, I still get to refer to her as she/her.
Most likely because they’d never experienced someone referring to them by the wrong gender. You can be pretty sure that if someone started doing so, they’d have something to say about it.
Which is what the other commenter was trying to communicate to you. Gender is already a key component of most cis people’s personality - the way they think about themselves, the framework they use to make choices, and the way they want people to relate to them - but it’s not noticed as such, because it’s “normal”, so no-one comments on it and they don’t have to act to assert it.
Ever met somebody with a preferred name? Maybe Mike instead of Michael?
I’m sure some people have made the mistake you are describing, but I doubt it’s only trans people who have made this mistake.
As a trans person, I would like to make my gender an aspect of my character, like most people get to do. I am more than just my gender, but my gender is a part of who I am.
It does feel good to be validated about my gender, but I’m not worried about people getting my pronouns wrong. I know it can be confusing and people don’t mean anything by it if they make a mistake. It’s hard to describe the intensity of the joy I felt once, when I was validated about my gender by another person. So, I will say it doesn’t surprise me if some people decide to express their gender a lot once they are finally able to.
I know, I thought about mentioning the typical male red pill idiot who has to remind everyone he’s totally hetero every 5 minutes, as they’re what my mind thought about as a comparison, but I thought that’d be in bad taste.
I’ve been told that gender is like a suit: if it fits you, you barely even notice it, but if it doesn’t fit you, it will bother you constantly until you do something about it.
Gender pronouns exist mostly because our society ties so many societal norms to gender. If people weren’t sexist animals, it wouldn’t really be a problem.
Good luck with languages where nearly everything, even inanimate objects, have an assigned gender as well.
Oh wow, your first paragraph will certainly get you in trouble in certain circles - but, more importantly, your second paragraph is as excellent a defusal as I’ve ever seen.
Pronouns should only be considered in the academic field as pronouns will never come up in regular conversation. Even if it does, the ambiguous “they” should be accepted as it’s a non-gendered term.
You’ve poked some people in their feels here but are 100% correct. Well said.