I’m tired of my parents being so religious. U can’t come out and I’m tired of it. They drag me to a church that actively hates us and get pissed I don’t like it. If I was put this would be worse probably. My mental health is going down the drain too. I literally just cut myself and I’m scared they will see the bandage. It just hurts that I can’t be bi at all and I’m probably going to have to go deeper in the closet if I don’t kill myself. I’m sorry I’m dumping all my problems idk where to go

  • Hang in there friend.

    You won’t live with your parents forever. In the meantime, you might try to involve yourself in hobbies that are inclusive of LGBTQIA+ individuals like music or theater (or musical theater). Some extracurriculars like band or show choir MAY also have events over the weekend that could prevent you from having to go to church.

    • I could try get into music. Good idea I just don’t know why I keep going. I’m 14 so even if I move out early I have at least 6 more yrs. The only reasons I had to live are my siblings and uo until June my now ex. Don’t know why I keep going. And now mh dumbass weakened my arm I can’t do much with it

  • Hi.
    I have been seeing you post quite a few threads of late. I am truly sorry they are giving you such a hard time. I think it is critical you get some kind of support, as in counseling. It might seem like people online might be able to help but there are limits to what can be accomplished and you deserve to have someone in your corner who can work with you on these issues. There are a number of places online that you can connect with counseling, specifically for lgbtq+ teens as well, if you care to look. l linked one that I know because they have done really great work for some of my friends’ families, but there are others. Hang in there.🌺

  • What you’re experiencing right now is extremely painful, and you have absolutely every right to feel awful and overwhelmed by it. It’s a lot to go through. If you’re able to, try to take a second to recognize how much compassion you deserve - try to treat yourself the way that you would treat somebody else going through the same thing. I would strongly recommend reaching out to a medical doctor or (secular) psychologist or counselor to talk to them about how severe this is for you. Is there somebody on staff at your school, or a doctor in your area that you can reach out to? There may also be a number you can call in your area. These people are obligated to help you, even if your parents and church disagree. I know that I don’t have to tell you how bad it is, and you both need and deserve help from a responsible, nonreligious adult who knows you in person and can help you with the things that you’re going through. One more thing - you’re still bi, even if nobody around you acknowledges this and even if your family continues to be hateful - they can’t change the core of who you are. I’m sorry for what you’re going through. Please reach out to somebody - cutting is no joke, suicidal thoughts are no joke, and any competent doctor or counselor who knows the truth about your situation will have an ethical obligation to help you. You exist, you’re alive, you’re bi, and that’s a beautiful thing. You deserve to be protected. Even if it takes a few tries to find an adult around you who is up to the task - do it anyway. Your life matters and you don’t deserve to have to cope with this alone.

    • @sleepybisexual, I’m so sorry that you have to go through this terrible situation.

      I agree with the others that counseling could be useful, if you can access it safely. Please take care of your mental and physical health as best you can. I don’t know much about your situation, but it sounds like the kind of thing you can go through and be stronger on the other side. And one of the best ways to help your younger siblings not become bigots is if they can look up to you as they grow up. Once you can safely come out of the closet, they can understand that LGBTQ+ people are people just like them.

      Is there somebody on staff at your school, or a doctor in your area that you can reach out to? There may also be a number you can call in your area. These people are obligated to help you, even if your parents and church disagree.

      It’s a good idea to look into this, but double-check the policies in your area: in particular whether these services are legally required (and socially expected) to maintain confidentiality.

        •  edgewater   ( @edgewater@beehaw.org ) 
          2 months ago

          im sorry you’re going through this baby. i cut up my arm pretty bad too once when i was a little older than you for similar reasons :(

          the biggest risk to your arm from cutting is nerve or connective tissue damage. do you have any numbness or tingling? do you have full range of motion in your fingers and wrist? can you stretch your fingers all the way out wide and then make a fist? i know testing all this hurts, but if you’re capable of doing all that and you’re not experiencing freaky nerve pain in your hand, you’re probably going to be ok long term.

          keep the wound clean and dry the best you can. you can apply vitamin e or scar cream too it when it’s more healed to reduce scaring.

      • It makes sense that you would be scared - it sounds like you haven’t been in too many situations where people around you have been helpful. First things first- your arm. The best thing, if you can access them, is steri strips or butterfly closures. Close any open wounds with these, use some antibiotic ointment a few times a day, and cover it with a bandage, and keep it clean until it’s fully healed. If you think there is anything more complicated than a skin injury going on, i really would urge you to seek medical attention. It is better to get caught than it is to get an infection. BioOil is pretty good for lessening scars. Project Lets also has a list of alternatives to self harm. Most of the suggestions probably sound increddddibly irritating and unhelpful at first, but you would be surprised how many of them actually work. If you feel an urge to hurt yourself in the future, try a few things off the list. The best thing is to get those emotions OUT of your body, and not to repress them, or shame yourself for feeling them, or judge yourself for expressing them in messy ways. Trapped pain has to come out somehow, so if you can find a way to get to it before it becomes as severe, that can reduce self harm urges a lot. https://projectlets.org/alternatives-to-selfharm

        Seeking help can be incredibly overwhelming and scary. Mental health services are far from perfect in most places, and I definitely do want to echo @solanaceous@beehaw.org ’s advice on checking the regulations in your area regarding confidentiality. But i would make the argument that when things feel bad enough that you don’t feel safe at all or you aren’t sure how to keep going, the fears and drawbacks that come with seeking help from a flawed system are well worth it if they get you through to the other side. This of course depends on your situation. Ultimately, you are the one who knows your own situation best, you know more about your life and your region than I do. You are the one who gets to choose what you think the safest and most helpful option for you is, based on the information you have and the way you feel. Always do what makes you safest. If anything I’ve written here seems wrong to you, or feels condescending, ignore it. I can only tell you what worked/what would have worked for me based on my own experiences. But above all all, please take care of yourself (and your arm). It probably doesn’t seem that important right now, but it is.

  • I have not seen my parents in many years and I am still dealing with mental trauma that I experienced as a child.

    Is the future scary for you? It’s scary for me, I don’t know when I will stop feeling anxious all the time or when I will stop sweating, shaking, and dissociating in social situations.

    I don’t regret staying around one bit, I’m a grown-ass man now, happy and married to someone I love very much but I didn’t always see hope for my own happiness.

    This isn’t the first post I’ve seen from you and I want you to know that I am genuinely concerned for your well-being, you have your whole life ahead of you. I know it’s probably hard to do so right now but please think of all the beauty and wonder that life has to offer, I can say with absolute certainty that I would have missed out if I went though with it all those years ago.

    • Yeah, I’m scared of the future too. My downward spiral started in June when my now ex left me. He was everything to me. He was what got me through the month we knew each other. All I have left are my 2 younger siblings and its not like I can open up to them either they are too going to understand.

      I wouldn’t say my parents are abusive but I’m just tired of the shouting and high expectations. Everything I do is a problem for them.

      • I remember what thats like, horrible feeling but what it really did was force me to learn that my own happiness and how I affect the lives of others is what matters.

        It may or may not be worth looking into but have you considered mentioning family therapy or parent counseling?

        Having a licensed professional help guide your parents through the impact they’re having on your life as well as mediate a serious conversation about your mental health may be what solves your problems at home.

        Not something for everyone, I know (I tried), but it can be a very valuable tool for families that are interested in coming together and clearing the air with minds open to new or confusing topics/ideas.

        Edit: try to remember that your parents are just humans too and it’s possible that they have deep-rooted mental struggles involving their own sexuality and gender as well as the guilt/shame that can be associated with it.

  • I like to share my experience, because I also grew up withvery religious parents. Für church also was not tolerant with lgbt*people. I was 15 when I knew I am gay. I by myself was also religiouses and Welt ashamed and guilty as hell for my feelings that I had for another boy. I came out to my very best friends with the age of 18 and it took me 10 more years to come out to my parents. Life can be tough. Life is tough when you cant be yourself, vor Like me even cant accept yourself.

    Do yourself a favour and find someone to talk. Maybe there is a lgbt+ youth group or a similar organisation. They will help you geht through the hard times.

    I hope youll be alright, i hope youll get help and have vor find supercool friends who support you! 💜🏳️‍🌈

    Sorry im not a native english speaker.

  • It just hurts that I can’t be bi at all and I’m probably going to have to go deeper in the closet if I don’t kill myself.

    I think you feel like you’re not in control of your life. I was there.

    In real, you can take control. Professional (and scientific) helps like cognitive behavioral therapy will show that to you.

    In any case, it’s no problem to be bi. There’s a way to get out of this without harming your body. If you hesitate to meet professionals, there are self-help books like Feeling Good by David Burns, MD.

    Your parents influence your feelings because they’re parents, but they’re wrong on this one.