I started trying to humanise people who pissed me off. Over time it chilled me right out.

By which I mean; say you’re on the motorway pulling 80mph in the outside lane and some asshole in an Audi comes screaming up behind you, flashing his lights, trying to get you out the way so he can get back up to 110mph.

In the past, I’d make a wanker gesture at him, then gradually pull across, making him all pissy with me. I’d get that momentary hollow feeling of victory that I’d got one over on a prick. Then I’d realise that I was mostly just angry and I’d achieved nothing.

So I started trying to humanise those people. Maybe he’s driving his Audi like a twat because he really needs a crap, or his wife’s having a baby. I don’t know, and I don’t need to know. Little by little this has helped me to chill out, and not just while driving. It’s carried over into other areas of my life, where I attempt to provide a justifiable reason for shitty behaviour at times when I just couldn’t know the truth.

I stopped that voice in my head that would constantly pop up and say “I’m so stupid” or similar variations.

It took me some time to understand that mistakes are just mistakes and everyone makes them. It easy to take all the blame and demean yourself for every little thing, but it feels so much better to stop those words in their tracks and reevaluate.

Using the “nice” things, especially if they’re tools for hobbies/chores I spend a lot of time doing. I cook a lot, and got myself a nice chef knife a few years ago. It makes prep just a little bit more enjoyable, and I feel like that’s actually added up to quite a bit of happiness over time! I don’t mean to recommend that anyone go ham upgrading everything indiscriminately, and I don’t think a nice thing necessarily has to be the best or most expensive; maybe it’s even something you already own. I’m using the nice dinnerware knowing I will definitely break or chip everything eventually, and I’m wearing the nice clothes until they snag and stain instead of saving them for a moment that might not come.

Scattering a few 5-minute resistance band exercises into my day. They’re easier, more convenient, and less dangerous than weights, they can provide a workout in small spaces, and they offer feedback that can help improve proprioception (which is an issue for me). And by doing a set here and a set there, I don’t resent working out, because I never have to spend an extended chunk of time bored af. I’ve never been evangelical about an exercise before. I have disabilities that can make working out difficult. But given my recent expeiences, I think government-funded resistance band sets with QR codes for free online instruction videos should be available at every public library in the country on request.

TL; DR: Resistance bands build strength and improve health with minimal risk of injury, and their convenience makes it easy to spread workouts over the day to avoid boredom and resentment.

Years ago I was in rough shape. Just generally out of shape. I made a small change, it was using common sense. There are things that are fine in moderation, and we all know that. So, I one morning I just decided that I didn’t need most of the bad stuff. I went from multiple soft drinks per day to none. I stopped coffee for a bit. And I decided on going to bed at the same time every night. Poof…6 weeks later I felt 10 years younger. I am pretty sure the sleep aspect was what did it. Go to bed, get 8 to 9 hours sleep.

A few!

First, keto. Not for the weightloss (although that happened, 45 lbs down and holding there 4 years in), but for the incredible way it made me feel. All my back and knee pain was gone, brain fog cleared, energy levels shot up, high blood pressure episodes went away. It was amazing

Second, electrolytes. Especially on keto but really so many folks are dehydrated and water alone doesn’t always help. It’s super cheap to make your own electrolyte powder with a 2:1 mix of Natural Calm magnesium and Morton’s lite salt (sodium and potassium). Put a teaspoon in a big glass of water with mio lemonade and it will fix headaches, hunger crankiness, and hangovers.

Third, drinking. I took a break and never went back. It was adding nothing to my life, and I’m so glad to be clear of it.

Fourth, taurine supplements. Im in my early forties and this popped my energy back up - I no longer feel wiped and low energy after a day of work/kids. I have time and vigor for projects or whatever else strikes me. It’s also been studied as a longevity enhancement and increases both healthspan and lifespan in test animals. It’s an amino acid we produce less of as we age, and supplementing it helped me.

Believe in Nike’s “Just Do It” motto. Used to do detailed plans for personal projects but they tend to eventually be forgotten or procrastinated and I end up not doing anything at all. Last month, I force myself to actually DO something. I stopped researching about which reading apps to use, which habit apps to install, or which ereader brand is best, etc and just bought a the cheapest secondhand Samsung tablet (literally on Android 5 lol) I could find and I started reading the ebooks I’ve been ignoring for years.

Now I’m finally consistent with my reading habit, I lost it when I started working many years ago, so this was a great improvement.

Doing ~20min of yoga every day I can, which works out to about 4-6 days a week. All my random aches and pains disappeared and my body feels way less stiff.

If I skip a week or so, I definitely feel noticably worse than I do when I keep it up.

Enough sleep, and at consistent times. So important and makes such a huge difference.

I stopped smoking a year ago. Visited a psychiatrist and took my anxiety under control. Recently switched to vegan diet. Life’s been better.

Started cycling as an adult with a road bike.

Vitamin D supplements

I decided to stop stressing about when i get to places. I’m pretty much time blind and have all kinds of body things slowing me down, so stressing about it wasn’t actually helping anyway.

I’d struggle to leave the house and let it put me in a mood, which only made getting out the door harder. I’d be sitting in traffic just wanting to be where i was trying to get that moment and waiting was uncomfortable because i felt like i was supposed to be somewhere else.

But the reality is, I’m always really the only place i could be. There are times when being slowed down by life’s little obstacles has been immensely beneficial. I’ve learned to let go a little and have a bit more faith that I’ll get there when it’s time for me to be there.

It makes it a lot easier to take life in stride, and to apply to other little cognitive barriers that might make things worse if i let them take hold of me and carry me away.

I realized that i enjoy myself and my life more when I strive to be that more accepting and relaxed version of myself, and that feeding into that whining sniping selfish petulance that sits opposite it just makes me miserable.

Antidepressants.

One little capsule once a day makes all the difference in the world.