“Confidence coffee”.
Let me explain; when you go on stage, you’re nervous and you need some water because your mouth dries out. Bring water in a mug/travel mug.
It’s self regulating. The dryer your mouth is, the more you need to drink water. The more you appear to sip coffee while publicly speaking, the more relaxed you look.
Compare to swigging from a water bottle; your nerves are on public display.
Confidence coffee=water in an opaque coffee container.
I wonder why water indicates nerves and coffee indicates confidence. It totally makes sense to me but I have no idea why.
Yeah I can’t explain it either. But it’s just the way.
Could you just actually drink coffee? I mean I guess the caffeine isn’t necessarily the best for situations of anxiety, but I find a cup of coffee really relaxing and if it helps when it looks like you’re drinking it I wonder if really drinking it wouldn’t help similarly.
Depending on your level of caffeine tolerance/dependency actual coffee might be even better.
Alternatively: Decaf.
Personally I drank coffee once and I’m never doing it again. I thought I was about to die, lol. I’ll probably stick to water. I however really like the idea of signaling that I’m having coffee although I’m not
When a person tells you that a loved one has passed, ask what the their name was and say it back. It can be awkward when that comes up and you might not know how to respond best. I’ve found that most people don’t want you to feel bad for them, but them saying their name and having a chance to talk about them is often a nice thing.
I’m in healthcare so death comes up a lot. “David. That’s a nice name. Where was he from?”
This… Might not be as helpful as you think it is… My dad died 6 months ago, and If someone asked me what his name was and then said ‘that’s a nice name’ I’d feel like it was a superficial and bad reaction. My father was a lot of things, and for someone to sum it up in ‘that’s a nice name’ as a form of sympathy would make me pause and struggle to find a response to such a… Simple and child-like reaction. I feel like that’s a response you could maybe get away with people’s pets, but not a human loved one.
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dont ask how people are doing if you don’t care man
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Also healthcare here. I do something similar, both for already dead family members and critically ill patients.
I don’t so much focus on the name, but ask a general “can you tell me about them?”
It reinforces to people that you care and helps forge a connection.
First pants, then shoes.
-Gary Larson
Not sure if this applies, but “You can never love someone else until you love yourself” was a lesson my dad taught me from a very young age.
If you don’t like yourself, you’ll almost inevitably end up with someone who is taking advantage because you won’t be able to stand up for yourself and you won’t speak up when they hurt you.
There are the very rare exceptions, but they are the ones who help you help yourself. Someone who truly helps you will not shower you with gifts or compliments, but rather will help you recognize and change what you don’t like about yourself. In other words, “Only a true friend would be that truly honest.”
Reminds me of a verse from Social Distortion’s “I Was Wrong”:
"And I think about my loves, well I’ve had a few
Well, I’m sorry that I hurt them, did I hurt you too?
I took what I wanted, put my heart on the shelf
But how can you love when you don’t love yourself?"
“Don’t be a protagonist in someone else’s story” You shouldn’t make decisions for someone else, nor prevent the results for their actions. You can help, advice, but should not intervene without permission.
(Except if the someone in question is a kid, then you probably should intervine)
Don’t be a side character is someone else’s story either
Learn to take care of yourself, before you take of others.
I didn’t understand the question so came to read the replies out of curiosity but couldn’t work it out so searched the web for what wax-on-wax-off meant. Now I think nobody else understood the question either.
