•  Zink   ( @Zink@programming.dev ) 
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      314 days ago

      We should all be decent, empathetic, and compassionate enough people that the demographic breakdown doesn’t create a negative effect like that.

      I’m one of the many cis dudes here, and I just cannot get offended when it gets pointed out that other dudes can be assholes. Or that other Americans can be assholes. Or other humans, for that matter.

      • Unfortunately that is hardly ever the case. Most people’s way to think about themselves and how they act differs greatly and thus they have to bridge this gap in some way. People like to think of themselves as tolerant, open-minded or empathetic, but once you start to confront them in any way with how they are acting problematic in any way, they usually start to get defensive or try to twist reality around so that it fits with their positive view on themselves. And by “confronting” I don’t necessarily mean that you even have to actually have to tell them about this mismatch, just by existing as a person can trigger this reaction in person. That is, only by being trans or by beingvegan people think that they have to defend themselves somehow. And it gets even trickier to actively help people reflect upon their own actions. The huge number of people that have tried to explain me that discrimination isn’t real is so frustrating. Most people life in their fantasy world not wanting to think critically about themselves. And if one has these mental barriers, empathy or compassion doesn’t really help either because in order to protect their skewed view on themselves they cannot access their empathy.

    •  jol   ( @jol@discuss.tchncs.de ) 
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      2314 days ago

      This has always happened to women. I mean, men do it do men too, but other men counteract that by doing it too. As a cis man I’ve encountered way too many cringe worthy situations from my fellow men.

      If you’re never experienced mansplaining you might now actually know what it is about.

      •  barsoap   ( @barsoap@lemm.ee ) 
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        514 days ago

        You went off the rail when you used “women” and “men” instead of “people”.

        I’m not exactly sure which one is more frequent, the behaviour itself or the accusation thereof as thought- and conversation-terminating cliche, but both suck donkey ass. OTOH it’s not some special grand thing in itself, either, it’s plain old failure to relate and communicate.

          •  barsoap   ( @barsoap@lemm.ee ) 
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            514 days ago

            But one group does it far more often.

            With “one group” you presumably mean egocentric people in general, and nothing sexed. Because otherwise: Citation or you’re a sexist. And with “citation” I mean “controlled for perceptive biases”.

            Your argument sounds like the “all lives matter” of “black lives matter”.

            Plenty of citations for racial bias by US police so no, it really shouldn’t. Side note though: The moment the assclowns came up with “all lives matter” the BLM folks should have jumped on it and used it themselves. It’s a much more powerful message, and impossible to argue against. With the momentum they had they could easily have drowned out the racists.

            • It’s the same way the student protests for palestine died out. The message was inpalatable to the general public because of the rhetoric that was used, whether or not it’s “correct” in the academic sense.

    •  10_0   ( @10_0@lemmy.ml ) 
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      214 days ago

      True, mostly igorned this post because it wasn’t particularly funny but it was OK, just came back to it getting ratioed. Now I’m thinking to myself what a timecapsule of a post this is, not heard mansplaining since 2016 yt commentary left vs right stuff. Also saw a comment wishing that they forgot about straight people lol. This comment section is worse than politics posts on !memes.

  •  Binette   ( @Binette@lemmy.ml ) 
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    1414 days ago

    The comments in this posts have everything I hoped to not see again once I left reddit for Lemmy 😭

    Like I’ve been mansplined before and it wasn’t fun. And no, women are less likely to do that because of societal reasons, not genetics 😂. I’m not even sure if some of the comments come from scientists, with the amount of confusion over social/genetic causes.

    Anyways, if you think someone needs help with something, always ask. And when talking to someone, ESPECIALLY if it’s a colleague/classmate, don’t try dumbing down the conversation unless you know the person you’re talking to won’t understand it.

    •  SaberKazd   ( @SaberKazd@sopuli.xyz ) 
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      13 days ago

      I usually have the opposite happen to me. When someone happens to ask me about something, I tend to go into the specifics and give detailed information that I consider relevant and/or useful, but get complained that I’m “showing off” or being a jerk trying to make them look dumb. I kind of get what they mean, but I still can’t figure out where the line is when considering the other person knowledge of something without coming off as condescending or rude.

    • I see your kind with the “there is no joke” nonsense occassionally, and I never know if you’re wilfully obtuse because you don’t like this humor, or really don’t even understand how it could be funny.

      I’ll tell you it’s kinda funny.

      • thanks for your answer.

        I don’t think it’s funny, because the joke is illogical. If he is a teacher in a University, and it looks like it, that it is his job to mansplain.

        but i often have problems with illogical jokes, and other people don’t seem to care.

        Obtuse? how shallow and pedantic.

        maybe it is like a meta joke, that makes fun of women complaining about mansplaining in settings where it has to be expected?

        • I’ll bite. The joke is funny because it is this kind of joke that comes from a place of desperation about our current world and how unfair it is and twists it sarcastically.

          There are power imbalances and sexist tropes pervading all of our interactions, men mansplaining stuff are everywhere. Men get believed more often and and people associate more authority with them. Also, men see other men as subjects that they can compete or bond with, but see women largely as objects that they want to possess and control. This is the patriarchy and the setting for our little joke here.

          And in the light of all this sexism, it seems so frustrating to see an university running ads with obviously sexist tropes of one guy explaining stuff to all women around him. It doesn’t matter how anyone of these people identifies for our joke, because the message stays the same.

          Saying “oh look you can do a master’s in mansplaining now” is funny because it desperately goes for any other explanation that the real reason for this ad is, namely sexism. “This must be a course on mansplaining, why would they show this otherwise?” It is a way to deal with how fucked up this world is by sarcastically twisting it so that it gives a seemingly delusional alternative answer.

          I guess people who don’t experience a certain discrimination or who are not open to reflect upon it, won’t find this joke funny. Because without the pain and the comedic relief, this wouldn’t be funny. For a deeper explanation of this, see this fabulous video by contrapoints on exactly this topic:

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtj7LDYaufM

          • “This must be a course on mansplaining, why would they show this otherwise?” It is a way to deal with how fucked up this world is by sarcastically twisting it so that it gives a seemingly delusional alternative answer.

            yeah, that’s what you believe people are thinking.

            I guess you are a woman. i am a man. so i am mansplaining this to you: you don’t know how men see other men. and you have no right to assume you know. stop doing that, it’s exhausting.

            And apparently, this is not a joke at all, since what you want to achieve is coping with your insecurities, via condensation thinley veiled as sarcasm.

            so the whole thing backfired, and resulted into you having to explain me how i should react.

            stop doing that sort of thing, it is manipulation.

            so, no wonder the whole thing did not make sense at all.

            Disclaimer:

            I was joking .-)

            i get it after your explanation, I am onboard, it is a really well thought out piece of art, i love how it changes my male ineptitude for the better.

            Thanks for the explanation, you were a good catch!

            take care .-)

            nimms mir nich übel, ich hab dich gefoppt, alles gut, du bist bestimmt ganz cool.

            • Joke’s on you, I’m actually a trans woman and have experienced going through the world as a man lol

              P.S. deine Antwort erscheint mir so widersprüchlich, dass ich wirklich keimen blassen Schimmer hab, was du eigentlich Aussagen wolltest…

              • scheise, wieder reingefallen. bin autistisch und stehe auf logik, das ist alles. ich hab spaß am diskutieren, und ich wollte auf keinen fall deine gefühle und überzeugeungen verlrtzen

                moment ma

                du bist en kerl. hör bloß auf mit deinem patriarch gelaber, das ist ja opferumkehr oder sowas. naja, ich weiß nich, was es ist, aber irgendwas schlimmes hast du bestimmt angestellt. zumindest als du noch ein kerl warst, hast du männer und frauen als objekte gesehen und alles das. zum glück hast du deine fehler eingesehen und bist ne frau geworden. ne andere lösung für das dilemma scheints nämlich nicht zugeben, da toxische männlichkeit angebohrt, ist und nie weggeht und so.

                k hau rein, danke daß du mir den witz erklärt hast, hab auch gelacht, war nett von dir, daß du dir die zeit genommen hast.

                • Äh, nee ich bin kein Kerl und war es auch nie. Aber ich habe als trans Frau trotzdem Erfahrungen, wie es ist, als Mann gesehen zu werden. Und natürlich objektifizieren wir alle mal andere Menschen, genauso wie wir ja auch seit klein auf rassistische, sexistische und andere diskriminierende Scheiße gefüttert werden. Niemand wird damit geboren, sondern wir werden so erzogen. Cis Männer sind genauso Menschen wie alle anderen, sie werden aber von Grund auf anders erzogen. Und natürlich hab ich auch schon in meinem Leben Scheiße gebaut, wie alle Menschen sich mal daneben benehmen. Du scheinst hier so ein schwarz-weiß Denken draus machen zu wollen, dass Männer sich scheiße verhalten und Frauen eben nicht. Das stimmt aber definitiv nicht und darum geht es nicht. Der Punkt ist, dass nicht als schon festgeschrieben zu sehen, sondern eben das zu reflektieren und darüber hinaus zu wachsen. Und nein, ich bin keine “Frau geworden”, weil ich da raus wollte, ich bin halt trans. So wie ich halt auch autistisch bin. Und auch cis Männer können was gegen ihre antrainierten Denkmuster angehen. Tun sie halt nur in der Regel nicht. Ich feier jeden Menschen, der seine Männlichkeit verrät und sich selbst reflektiert.

                  Und ja, ich stehe auch auf Logik und liebe diskutieren :)