Develop into your own beautiful human, first. A lot of dudes are mid at best; myself included
Same advice applies to dudes too TBH. We’d all be a lot better off if we figured our shit out before inflicting ourselves on each other and fucking us up even more.
Could really just remove the genders from what this person said and make it applicable to everyone. Young men should be doing the same thing.
Toxic femininity and masculinity both push the narrative of how young men need to constantly pursue women, and everything they do should be in pursuit of chasing pussy. How men should always be available to women when the time comes.
Grow for yourself.
Yes.
Men are miles behind on the self development front in a lot of cases though. Generational suppression of feelings and an inability to cope with them correctly has done us a massive disservice. Like a deer with chronic wasting disease, we stagger on, continuing to do the same thing, despite how tragically fucked up we are.
that advice is completely valid for men too, hell, the amount of male friends that i have that are felling alone and think that getting a girlfriend gonna fix that, fuck that, and they fuck woman friendship because they “fall in love” with any woman that give them attention, and they still refuse to listen to me when i say to them to improve themselves that love gonna come naturally, it’s tiring, and i say that as a man who also sometimes feel alone and also mistaken attention with love, i just learned from advice that i read and i’m feeling a lot better, why, why they are such morons
It’s because societal norms don’t teach boys and men the proper way to deal with emotions. It’s more implied we will be fine or know how to deal with them, and generally not a lot of room for guys to explore them.
There’s also a push for guys to be competitive, achieve, etc. which conditions us to seek more of the positive emotions that come with ‘victory’. That thinking quickly can become an echo chamber inside your head, with all kinds of negative things associated with it; the least of which is ‘I am worthless unless I achieve’.
The world would be a much better place if guys were in tune with their inner feelings, knew how to deal with them, and weren’t terrified of being vulnerable around others. This also applies to women, but from my vantage point, to a lesser degree
It’s not about being morons. It’s about needs. It is rough to develop emotional intelligence, if you aren’t even sure if you’ll be paying rent this month.
This does not apply just to men, though. But I’d add that an additional complicating issue for men is the lack of emptional-education and social-practice that the patriarchy expects from women.
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Dudes are mid, become a woman instead! :3
Valid option.
There’s also becoming a good dude, thereby improving the average.
Overrall, just do whatever makes shit better for you and others.
Idunno, seems like they should at least be femboys to hang out around here 🤔
TIME FOR SOME FEMINIZATION!! >:O shoots imaginary fem-rays from its eyes!! Raaaarrrr et cetera! wiggle :3
Thank you celeste
Double Yump!
Also a guy, and I think that’s generally good advice. Especially “do not put substantial effort into pleasing men”. Amen.
But I’d make it even more general: don’t waste time on people who make you fight to prove yourself worthy of basic respect and recognition. Not when young. Not when you’re “older and ready”. Bullshit is always bullshit.
And on the flipside, if you somehow luck out and run into one of those gems who don’t make you fight for their acceptance, who just welcome you into their life as you are, build you up and are there for you, make every reasonable effort to keep them around, no matter their gender. Whether it’s platonic, romantic and/or sexual, relationships with good people should be grabbed onto, and maintained with as much effort as you can afford.
In a world of shit, anything not a turd is worth celebrating
…
Are you saying good people are only worth fighting for when put in contrast with shitty ones?
Good people aren’t worth having around just because they’re “not turds”.
I think you’re agreeing with me, but this is a bad way to say that.
Honestly I think my highschool life would have been completely unbearable if I gave a single fuck about what any of those eijits thought of me.
There were Khajiit at your school?! Wait no, I misread. Nevermind <.< >.>
🐱
Why is this a gendered thing? If you replaced “Younger girls” with “any person” and “Men” with “Other people” then this not only remains true, but actually makes just as much sense and applies to more situations.
As a bisexual person, it is very weird to me on a conceptual level how much weight people put behind genders. Like, whether I find a person attractive or not does not correlate to whether they present masculine or feminine, or which sex they had assigned at birth. Like logically I understand why it is the way it is, I’ve just never felt it for myself and assumed everyone just sorta pretends it matters, until I figured out I’m bi.
Hmm, maybe that’s why I have a similar mindset to you. I’m not sure it’s related to my sexuality though. Possibly, but I’ve just been screwed over by people in all kinds of relationships to me, whether it be family, people in positions of authority over me, co-workers, friends and also people I’ve been in a romantic relationships with.
It seems strange to put so much weight on gender and also so much weight on romance / intimacy when doing things solely to please others whilst neglecting your own needs and desires is bad regardless of your relationship with that person.
In case of OP, it’s self-loathing
That’s sad.
Be your own main character
If I could live in a world populated exclusively with women, I’d be so happy.
my anxiety says otherwise
I’m a dude, and I agree.
99 problems …
Please… How do I communicate this to my failing 13- year old daughter?
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I think you should tell her as a parent that she shouldn’t spend time with boys and instead focus on her studies. No way that will backfire!
But seriously though what does “failing” even mean here, how can a 13 years old “fail”?
Seems easy? What if they say no?
That was plan A. I think we’re up to plan J, K, or L right about now.
In the USA, failing is when they get D’s or F’s in everything, and end up with an F overall in one or more subjects. In her case, more than one.
